Noel Purcell
@namelessranger.bsky.social
former tumblr child star, ghostface kia soul
Being largely off social media for a very long time has meant I've missed some things. Mostly profoundly sad things. I just learned that Kaleb Horton passed away a few months ago. One of the great writers of the 21st century, and perhaps our foremost chronicler of Americana, California particularly.
January 27, 2026 at 2:23 PM
Being largely off social media for a very long time has meant I've missed some things. Mostly profoundly sad things. I just learned that Kaleb Horton passed away a few months ago. One of the great writers of the 21st century, and perhaps our foremost chronicler of Americana, California particularly.
PAREENE
I have a great idea for retraining ICE agents: defector.com/i-have-a-gre...
I Have A Great Idea For Retraining ICE Agents | Defector
The several thousand federal agents currently running rampant in the Twin Cities have so far achieved little in the way of legitimate law enforcement objectives, but they have been rather more…
defector.com
January 26, 2026 at 5:26 PM
PAREENE
Reposted by Noel Purcell
![VOLITION [Easy: Failure] – You wake up in your Hilton suite to a cacophony of whistles and horns. Half drunk and half hungover, you hastily throw on your tactical gear. It feels heavier than you remember. You stumble outside. The cold hits you like a brick. What are you doing here in this dismal city? Home is warm. Home is safe. Home is a thousand miles away. Tucking your shotgun between your legs, you fumble with a tear gas canister like a child learning how to tie their shoes. The gun goes off and you shoot yourself in the balls.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:eqh433fdh2bqhvt455e3tg67/bafkreiahrbfuw4v4so56ikp2pxf5n253bs5pd5gq37l7nqsitkwynw56hy@jpeg)
Reposted by Noel Purcell
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Noel Purcell
Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding Flower https://theonion.com/entire-french-populace-moved-to-tears-by-cartoon-of-robot-holding-flower/
January 23, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding Flower https://theonion.com/entire-french-populace-moved-to-tears-by-cartoon-of-robot-holding-flower/
SHUT DA FUCK UP
January 23, 2026 at 4:04 PM
SHUT DA FUCK UP
I know we're post-parody but some WinRed dipshits orgs bought phone number somewhere and so I now get a half dozen Nazi fundraising texts per day. The content behind the links really does look like a good joke. This is for an org that puts goose steppers on school boards so they can torture children
January 21, 2026 at 4:49 PM
I know we're post-parody but some WinRed dipshits orgs bought phone number somewhere and so I now get a half dozen Nazi fundraising texts per day. The content behind the links really does look like a good joke. This is for an org that puts goose steppers on school boards so they can torture children
shit man it's cold as fuck let's get it doe
January 21, 2026 at 3:47 PM
shit man it's cold as fuck let's get it doe
Anyway that whole discourse is a great reminder that despite my so-far-impeccable feed curation there sure are still a lot of "bluesky types" out there. Which is good, microblogging is worthless without enemies. Tumblr was great not just because of the people I loved, but those I hated as well.
January 21, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Anyway that whole discourse is a great reminder that despite my so-far-impeccable feed curation there sure are still a lot of "bluesky types" out there. Which is good, microblogging is worthless without enemies. Tumblr was great not just because of the people I loved, but those I hated as well.
"You're not ready for how much everyone abroad hates Americans now" dog first off, it's been a decade. Yes I am. Second, they're so mystified when they meet an openly communist American they don't know what to make of it anyway. Third, nobody really cares on a personal level like that. Just freaks.
January 21, 2026 at 3:32 PM
"You're not ready for how much everyone abroad hates Americans now" dog first off, it's been a decade. Yes I am. Second, they're so mystified when they meet an openly communist American they don't know what to make of it anyway. Third, nobody really cares on a personal level like that. Just freaks.
Their relegation will be delicious
this, from West Ham's Freddie Potts, is the single worst "five famous people you'd invite to dinner" I've ever seen
January 16, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Their relegation will be delicious
Why do they call him Quentin Post when he's a stretch five? Should call him Quentin Perimeter.
January 16, 2026 at 4:44 AM
Why do they call him Quentin Post when he's a stretch five? Should call him Quentin Perimeter.
David Stearns congratulations on becoming the human embodiment of the Andrew Friedman quote this offseason.
January 16, 2026 at 3:01 AM
David Stearns congratulations on becoming the human embodiment of the Andrew Friedman quote this offseason.
I want Kim Gordon to bash my skull in
January 15, 2026 at 5:37 PM
I want Kim Gordon to bash my skull in
NYC needs commercial rent stabilization so badly
January 15, 2026 at 3:39 PM
NYC needs commercial rent stabilization so badly
How the hell do people have the patience to watch videos about everything. Frequently an incredibly inefficient way to learn. 15 minutes of bullshit, or you could simply give me something to read and I'd be done in three minutes. Don't say "it's because nobody knows how to read anymore." I know!
January 15, 2026 at 2:59 AM
How the hell do people have the patience to watch videos about everything. Frequently an incredibly inefficient way to learn. 15 minutes of bullshit, or you could simply give me something to read and I'd be done in three minutes. Don't say "it's because nobody knows how to read anymore." I know!
I'm pretty sure all of my favorite bars in Boston save for Delux Cafe and Bukowski are gone now. RIP to the Dugout. All of my money went to you in law school. Thank you for letting us smoke weed inside.
January 14, 2026 at 10:42 PM
I'm pretty sure all of my favorite bars in Boston save for Delux Cafe and Bukowski are gone now. RIP to the Dugout. All of my money went to you in law school. Thank you for letting us smoke weed inside.
Reposted by Noel Purcell
RIP to the Dugout Cafe by Fenway. RIP to everything but the Seaport
"the city’s licensing board approved the transfer of its liquor license last week...The recipient, Earl’s Kitchen and Bar, plans to use the license for a new location set to open in the Seaport next year."
archive.is/YUWuB#select...
"the city’s licensing board approved the transfer of its liquor license last week...The recipient, Earl’s Kitchen and Bar, plans to use the license for a new location set to open in the Seaport next year."
archive.is/YUWuB#select...
January 14, 2026 at 10:21 PM
RIP to the Dugout Cafe by Fenway. RIP to everything but the Seaport
"the city’s licensing board approved the transfer of its liquor license last week...The recipient, Earl’s Kitchen and Bar, plans to use the license for a new location set to open in the Seaport next year."
archive.is/YUWuB#select...
"the city’s licensing board approved the transfer of its liquor license last week...The recipient, Earl’s Kitchen and Bar, plans to use the license for a new location set to open in the Seaport next year."
archive.is/YUWuB#select...
This was awesome. Need a 50 worst transfers list so I can discuss how Jesus Navas sucked so badly at City.
it's been a ridiculous week in soccer/the world but make 15 mins for this beautiful ranking: direct all ire to @espnbillc.bsky.social (also, we'll have a nice counter to this in a couple of weeks...)
www.espn.com/soccer/story...
www.espn.com/soccer/story...
Premier League's top 50 transfers of all time: Who will be No. 1?
What makes a great signing? Is it trophies won, goals scored, a long run of dominance ... or all of the above? Bill Connelly breaks down the best 50 Premier League moves since it began in 1992-93.
www.espn.com
January 14, 2026 at 3:10 PM
This was awesome. Need a 50 worst transfers list so I can discuss how Jesus Navas sucked so badly at City.
Reposted by Noel Purcell
every (straight reporter) story about ICE agents is like this, they’re all people who steal from the collection plate and beat their wives and and won’t stop making lewd remarks to the 13 year old girl next door and this is the only place in america where they could remain employed for six months
you’re a fucking grown ass man putting a 16 year old kid in handcuffs and then you steal his phone and sell it to a vending machine? what in the entire fuck is wrong you?
January 14, 2026 at 1:09 AM
every (straight reporter) story about ICE agents is like this, they’re all people who steal from the collection plate and beat their wives and and won’t stop making lewd remarks to the 13 year old girl next door and this is the only place in america where they could remain employed for six months
Reposted by Noel Purcell
Went to the John Le Carre exhibition today and was pleased to learn that the greatest spy novelist of all time in addition to bleak epics of gnawing doubt and tragic moral compromise liked to doodle little animals getting fucked up.
January 13, 2026 at 2:52 PM
Went to the John Le Carre exhibition today and was pleased to learn that the greatest spy novelist of all time in addition to bleak epics of gnawing doubt and tragic moral compromise liked to doodle little animals getting fucked up.
These freaks are so far out over their fucking skis and they don't even realize it
Bovino on the officer who killed Renee Good: "Hats off to that ICE agent"
January 13, 2026 at 4:07 AM
These freaks are so far out over their fucking skis and they don't even realize it
Cranking my hog no lube to this
January 13, 2026 at 4:00 AM
Cranking my hog no lube to this
Reposted by Noel Purcell
new york city is Real America. los angeles is Real America. chicago is Real America. minneapolis is Real America. seattle, portland, detroit etc etc. sick of this framing that it's otherwise. shut the fuck up
January 12, 2026 at 6:12 PM
new york city is Real America. los angeles is Real America. chicago is Real America. minneapolis is Real America. seattle, portland, detroit etc etc. sick of this framing that it's otherwise. shut the fuck up
Reposted by Noel Purcell
this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier
January 8, 2026 at 2:33 PM
this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier