Mike Rampton
@mikerampton.bsky.social
Author, journalist, hero, dad, sleepy etc. He/him. Cambridge, UK. Please buy my books There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question and Become A Genius In A Year, both out now and great. Go on.
mikerampton.com / interestingskull.beehiiv.com
mikerampton.com / interestingskull.beehiiv.com
What's the difference between the least-bad element of a piece of bad news and Grand Moff Tarkin's wife on his birthday? One cushions the blow...
November 26, 2025 at 11:43 AM
What's the difference between the least-bad element of a piece of bad news and Grand Moff Tarkin's wife on his birthday? One cushions the blow...
I've done loads of fun Christmas writing. I ate dozens of advent calendars, analysed Die Hard and Home Alone in depth, asked Satanists about their plans and answered the question "Jingle bells, Batman smells, but of what?" This year, nothing. Bah humbug. I should probably have done some pitching.
November 26, 2025 at 10:38 AM
I've done loads of fun Christmas writing. I ate dozens of advent calendars, analysed Die Hard and Home Alone in depth, asked Satanists about their plans and answered the question "Jingle bells, Batman smells, but of what?" This year, nothing. Bah humbug. I should probably have done some pitching.
Reposted by Mike Rampton
[leonard cohen hallelujah voice] cowabunga
December 14, 2023 at 2:52 AM
[leonard cohen hallelujah voice] cowabunga
This fun, knackering, mindblowing book, SOLVE THE WORLD'S GREATEST MYSTERIES, is coming out on May 7th 2026 from HarperCollins Children's Books. I went full bonkers writing it and am really excited about it coming out. It's orderable now! uk.bookshop.org/p/books/solv...
November 21, 2025 at 10:19 AM
This fun, knackering, mindblowing book, SOLVE THE WORLD'S GREATEST MYSTERIES, is coming out on May 7th 2026 from HarperCollins Children's Books. I went full bonkers writing it and am really excited about it coming out. It's orderable now! uk.bookshop.org/p/books/solv...
"Did you know a member of 5ive was taught to play a medieval stringed instrument by the star of Gone With The Wind?"
"Abz? A lute? Leigh?"
"Really? You knew Ritchie Neville took gittern lessons from Olivia de Havilland? How?"
"Abz? A lute? Leigh?"
"Really? You knew Ritchie Neville took gittern lessons from Olivia de Havilland? How?"
November 20, 2025 at 7:30 PM
"Did you know a member of 5ive was taught to play a medieval stringed instrument by the star of Gone With The Wind?"
"Abz? A lute? Leigh?"
"Really? You knew Ritchie Neville took gittern lessons from Olivia de Havilland? How?"
"Abz? A lute? Leigh?"
"Really? You knew Ritchie Neville took gittern lessons from Olivia de Havilland? How?"
Reposted by Mike Rampton
Scientists recently combined DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab.
Things went sideways real fast.
Things went sideways real fast.
November 20, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Scientists recently combined DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab.
Things went sideways real fast.
Things went sideways real fast.
Reposted by Mike Rampton
Christmas is coming. A great van taught me that. If you have children to buy presents for, please consider these books I wrote. Both are fun, funny, fact-filled and great for both reluctant and enthusiastic readers. Become A Genius In A Year and There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question: buy them!
November 13, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Christmas is coming. A great van taught me that. If you have children to buy presents for, please consider these books I wrote. Both are fun, funny, fact-filled and great for both reluctant and enthusiastic readers. Become A Genius In A Year and There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question: buy them!
A SONG MY DAUGHTER ENJOYED
I wiggle my bum on a Thursday
And on a Friday too.
Saturdays, Sundays? Wiggle-your-bum days.
On Monday, I wiggle at you.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays I wiggle my bum
Then it's wiggle-bum Thursday again.
I wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle,
With the other bum-wiggling men.
I wiggle my bum on a Thursday
And on a Friday too.
Saturdays, Sundays? Wiggle-your-bum days.
On Monday, I wiggle at you.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays I wiggle my bum
Then it's wiggle-bum Thursday again.
I wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle,
With the other bum-wiggling men.
November 20, 2025 at 9:10 AM
A SONG MY DAUGHTER ENJOYED
I wiggle my bum on a Thursday
And on a Friday too.
Saturdays, Sundays? Wiggle-your-bum days.
On Monday, I wiggle at you.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays I wiggle my bum
Then it's wiggle-bum Thursday again.
I wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle,
With the other bum-wiggling men.
I wiggle my bum on a Thursday
And on a Friday too.
Saturdays, Sundays? Wiggle-your-bum days.
On Monday, I wiggle at you.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays I wiggle my bum
Then it's wiggle-bum Thursday again.
I wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle,
With the other bum-wiggling men.
Chris Rea's full name is Christmas Reallywouldn'tbethesamewithoutmysongaboutdrivinghome
November 17, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Chris Rea's full name is Christmas Reallywouldn'tbethesamewithoutmysongaboutdrivinghome
Reposted by Mike Rampton
things have really turned around for me ever since i became isolated and weird
November 14, 2025 at 6:56 AM
things have really turned around for me ever since i became isolated and weird
Christmas is coming. A great van taught me that. If you have children to buy presents for, please consider these books I wrote. Both are fun, funny, fact-filled and great for both reluctant and enthusiastic readers. Become A Genius In A Year and There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question: buy them!
November 13, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Christmas is coming. A great van taught me that. If you have children to buy presents for, please consider these books I wrote. Both are fun, funny, fact-filled and great for both reluctant and enthusiastic readers. Become A Genius In A Year and There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question: buy them!
Reposted by Mike Rampton
🥳 As of today HERO SLAM, my first ever card game, is now available everywhere! Indie stores, book stores, Amazon, wherever you normally buy your games!
⚔️ Or, if you fancy buying the Hero Slam game or jigsaw direct from the publisher, head to www.laurenceking.com, enter code SMART20, and get 20% off!
⚔️ Or, if you fancy buying the Hero Slam game or jigsaw direct from the publisher, head to www.laurenceking.com, enter code SMART20, and get 20% off!
November 13, 2025 at 11:39 AM
🥳 As of today HERO SLAM, my first ever card game, is now available everywhere! Indie stores, book stores, Amazon, wherever you normally buy your games!
⚔️ Or, if you fancy buying the Hero Slam game or jigsaw direct from the publisher, head to www.laurenceking.com, enter code SMART20, and get 20% off!
⚔️ Or, if you fancy buying the Hero Slam game or jigsaw direct from the publisher, head to www.laurenceking.com, enter code SMART20, and get 20% off!
Reposted by Mike Rampton
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
My book didn't win the big fancy American award it was shortlisted for. Luckily, I am still the total absolute best. www.barnesandnoble.com/b/books/awar...
Book of the Year 2025
Discover the Barnes & Noble Book of the Year for 2025! Our booksellers have voted on their favorites and narrowed it down to the top books of the year chosen for you.
www.barnesandnoble.com
November 13, 2025 at 11:02 AM
My book didn't win the big fancy American award it was shortlisted for. Luckily, I am still the total absolute best. www.barnesandnoble.com/b/books/awar...
"I think that the task of philosophy is not to provide answers, but to show how the way we perceive a problem can be itself part of a problem. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need." — Slavoj Garden
November 12, 2025 at 2:37 PM
"I think that the task of philosophy is not to provide answers, but to show how the way we perceive a problem can be itself part of a problem. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need." — Slavoj Garden
Will Ferrell and the filmmakers behind Uncut Gems have put a lot of rules and regulations in place preventing me from leading a normal life. It's Elf and Safdie gone mad.
November 12, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Will Ferrell and the filmmakers behind Uncut Gems have put a lot of rules and regulations in place preventing me from leading a normal life. It's Elf and Safdie gone mad.
Reposted by Mike Rampton
Reposted by Mike Rampton
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the FLOOOOOOOOR
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the FLOOOOOOOOR
November 9, 2025 at 11:54 AM
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the FLOOOOOOOOR
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the floor
let the poppies hit the FLOOOOOOOOR
Reposted by Mike Rampton
this must've been so annoying before computers
March 11, 2025 at 2:39 PM
this must've been so annoying before computers
Reposted by Mike Rampton
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
E.M. Forster describing vision-obstructing conjunctivitis: "Rheum within view."
November 10, 2025 at 12:02 PM
E.M. Forster describing vision-obstructing conjunctivitis: "Rheum within view."
Reposted by Mike Rampton
do you know how horrid and evil you have to be to be in this much pain in public and everyone still hates you
Elon Musk is over on Twitter posting his sad/pathetic Ai prompts.
November 8, 2025 at 5:41 PM
do you know how horrid and evil you have to be to be in this much pain in public and everyone still hates you
Remember, remember, November the fifth,
And this is the rhyme you remember it wifth:
The day that you set all those fireworks off?
That's the day that comes after November the foff.
And this is the rhyme you remember it wifth:
The day that you set all those fireworks off?
That's the day that comes after November the foff.
November 5, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Remember, remember, November the fifth,
And this is the rhyme you remember it wifth:
The day that you set all those fireworks off?
That's the day that comes after November the foff.
And this is the rhyme you remember it wifth:
The day that you set all those fireworks off?
That's the day that comes after November the foff.
Yet ANOTHER year where Download Festival announce their lineup with no plans whatsoever for a whimsical children's non-fiction stage. I'm starting to think I'm never going to perform there.
November 4, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Yet ANOTHER year where Download Festival announce their lineup with no plans whatsoever for a whimsical children's non-fiction stage. I'm starting to think I'm never going to perform there.
HORN TOOT: Next Thursday the American book chain Barnes & Noble will name their Book Of The Year 2025. A book I wrote is one of the 14 finalists. It won't win — it feels like a book for grown-ups probably makes more sense as the winner — but until then, I am almost, potentially, nearly a big deal.
November 4, 2025 at 12:20 PM
HORN TOOT: Next Thursday the American book chain Barnes & Noble will name their Book Of The Year 2025. A book I wrote is one of the 14 finalists. It won't win — it feels like a book for grown-ups probably makes more sense as the winner — but until then, I am almost, potentially, nearly a big deal.