Matt Twomey
@matttwomey.bsky.social
Just pubbed 5 illustrated humor books under pen name Artie Smarty. GREAT GIFTS. Check 'em out: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FD4YNQDM
Leave it to The Times to make us schmucks with a box of chocolates seem lame.
February 14, 2026 at 5:58 PM
Leave it to The Times to make us schmucks with a box of chocolates seem lame.
Found a cool free book on Amazon.
February 6, 2026 at 5:50 AM
Found a cool free book on Amazon.
I watched Forrest Gump with my 13-year-old.
One thing about it always kills me.
One thing about it always kills me.
February 6, 2026 at 2:44 AM
I watched Forrest Gump with my 13-year-old.
One thing about it always kills me.
One thing about it always kills me.
A theory of the case.
February 1, 2026 at 5:52 AM
A theory of the case.
Is Blue Moon any good? It's wonderful. Has a Richard Linklater-Ethan Hawke collaboration ever missed? Not that I can think of.
February 1, 2026 at 5:30 AM
Is Blue Moon any good? It's wonderful. Has a Richard Linklater-Ethan Hawke collaboration ever missed? Not that I can think of.
Reposted by Matt Twomey
After being held in two of them as a boy, I fought for decades urging America to never again build concentration camps and put human beings in them. It breaks my heart to watch this happen twice now in my own lifetime.
January 27, 2026 at 9:30 PM
After being held in two of them as a boy, I fought for decades urging America to never again build concentration camps and put human beings in them. It breaks my heart to watch this happen twice now in my own lifetime.
January 26, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Bari Weiss pulled the plug on a "60 Minutes" segment, and I pulled the plug on my Paramount+. Anyone else?
December 23, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Bari Weiss pulled the plug on a "60 Minutes" segment, and I pulled the plug on my Paramount+. Anyone else?
When Vince Gilligan has a show on TV, it is often the best show on TV. And after you've finished watching an episode, often the second best thing on TV is to watch it again. #Pluribus #BetterCallSaul #BreakingBad
November 30, 2025 at 6:18 AM
When Vince Gilligan has a show on TV, it is often the best show on TV. And after you've finished watching an episode, often the second best thing on TV is to watch it again. #Pluribus #BetterCallSaul #BreakingBad
Ambivalent about Black Friday and the retail frenzy? So support independent creators — locally, on Etsy, or, ahem, ME!
My Artie Smarty series has an illustrated humor book for everyone on your list, starting at $13.49. (Thread) #giftguide www.amazon.com/dp/B0FD4YNQD...
My Artie Smarty series has an illustrated humor book for everyone on your list, starting at $13.49. (Thread) #giftguide www.amazon.com/dp/B0FD4YNQD...
'Why Not' Books
Visit Amazon's 'Why Not' Books Page and shop for all 'Why Not' Books books. Check out pictures, author information, and reviews of 'Why Not' Books
www.amazon.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Ambivalent about Black Friday and the retail frenzy? So support independent creators — locally, on Etsy, or, ahem, ME!
My Artie Smarty series has an illustrated humor book for everyone on your list, starting at $13.49. (Thread) #giftguide www.amazon.com/dp/B0FD4YNQD...
My Artie Smarty series has an illustrated humor book for everyone on your list, starting at $13.49. (Thread) #giftguide www.amazon.com/dp/B0FD4YNQD...
Update: My pen name, the one that became sentient and put up a Facebook page? He's started a flame war with me.
So I had to figure out what the hell is going on.
I think I figured out Artie Smarty's origin.
So I had to figure out what the hell is going on.
I think I figured out Artie Smarty's origin.
November 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Update: My pen name, the one that became sentient and put up a Facebook page? He's started a flame war with me.
So I had to figure out what the hell is going on.
I think I figured out Artie Smarty's origin.
So I had to figure out what the hell is going on.
I think I figured out Artie Smarty's origin.
Update: They said A.I. would achieve sentience. I just didn't think it would take the form of my pen name claiming credit for my novelty books.
Artie Smarty (fake author I invented) started a Facebook page to "correct the record."
I've created a monster. A deeply petty monster.
Artie Smarty (fake author I invented) started a Facebook page to "correct the record."
I've created a monster. A deeply petty monster.
November 13, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Update: They said A.I. would achieve sentience. I just didn't think it would take the form of my pen name claiming credit for my novelty books.
Artie Smarty (fake author I invented) started a Facebook page to "correct the record."
I've created a monster. A deeply petty monster.
Artie Smarty (fake author I invented) started a Facebook page to "correct the record."
I've created a monster. A deeply petty monster.
You may know me as a journalist and editor at The New York Times.
What you don't know is I spent six months making rock stars into dogs.
David Bowwowie. Thom Yorkie. Taylor Sniffed.
Don't @ me. I know what I've done.
Thread 🧵
What you don't know is I spent six months making rock stars into dogs.
David Bowwowie. Thom Yorkie. Taylor Sniffed.
Don't @ me. I know what I've done.
Thread 🧵
November 12, 2025 at 5:38 PM
You may know me as a journalist and editor at The New York Times.
What you don't know is I spent six months making rock stars into dogs.
David Bowwowie. Thom Yorkie. Taylor Sniffed.
Don't @ me. I know what I've done.
Thread 🧵
What you don't know is I spent six months making rock stars into dogs.
David Bowwowie. Thom Yorkie. Taylor Sniffed.
Don't @ me. I know what I've done.
Thread 🧵
Mamdani had poise, passion and good timing,
but mostly I liked his championing of rhyming.
but mostly I liked his championing of rhyming.
November 5, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Mamdani had poise, passion and good timing,
but mostly I liked his championing of rhyming.
but mostly I liked his championing of rhyming.
Is this the most unfunny SNL premier in 51 years?
October 5, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Is this the most unfunny SNL premier in 51 years?
Yknow HBO bundles with Disney but is part of another company —
How pissed are HBO execs over the mass cancellations over Kimmel — and what might they do about it.
How pissed are HBO execs over the mass cancellations over Kimmel — and what might they do about it.
September 23, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Yknow HBO bundles with Disney but is part of another company —
How pissed are HBO execs over the mass cancellations over Kimmel — and what might they do about it.
How pissed are HBO execs over the mass cancellations over Kimmel — and what might they do about it.
Ironically, this means I’ll have to cancel Disney, meaning I’ll never finish Andor and learn how to be a proper revolutionary. #Kimmel
September 18, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Ironically, this means I’ll have to cancel Disney, meaning I’ll never finish Andor and learn how to be a proper revolutionary. #Kimmel
Reposted by Matt Twomey
24 Years Ago Today: The September 11th Issue
Issue 37•34: The September 11th Issue
theonion.com
September 11, 2025 at 6:30 PM
24 Years Ago Today: The September 11th Issue
Taking people out with deadly force from a safe distance, without hearing them out in any way, is never the right thing to do.
Yes, I'm referring to the alleged Venezuelan drug boat.
Yes, I'm referring to the alleged Venezuelan drug boat.
September 11, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Taking people out with deadly force from a safe distance, without hearing them out in any way, is never the right thing to do.
Yes, I'm referring to the alleged Venezuelan drug boat.
Yes, I'm referring to the alleged Venezuelan drug boat.
Reposted by Matt Twomey
Three thoughts on the Russian drone attack on Poland:
1. This was not a mistake. It was a test of NATO.
2. NATO has to figure out how to cheaply and effectively respond to drone attacks, e.g. with counter drones as Ukraine does.
3. The West needs to impose costs to deter Putin and end impunity.
1. This was not a mistake. It was a test of NATO.
2. NATO has to figure out how to cheaply and effectively respond to drone attacks, e.g. with counter drones as Ukraine does.
3. The West needs to impose costs to deter Putin and end impunity.
September 10, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Three thoughts on the Russian drone attack on Poland:
1. This was not a mistake. It was a test of NATO.
2. NATO has to figure out how to cheaply and effectively respond to drone attacks, e.g. with counter drones as Ukraine does.
3. The West needs to impose costs to deter Putin and end impunity.
1. This was not a mistake. It was a test of NATO.
2. NATO has to figure out how to cheaply and effectively respond to drone attacks, e.g. with counter drones as Ukraine does.
3. The West needs to impose costs to deter Putin and end impunity.
Reposted by Matt Twomey
we could power new york city for a year if we could somehow harness the energy
Edward R. Murrow & Walter Cronkite both doing upwards of 5,000 rpm right about now.
September 3, 2025 at 11:05 PM
we could power new york city for a year if we could somehow harness the energy
If you text me without identifying yourself expect to be deleted and reported as spam scum with extreme prejudice.
August 15, 2025 at 9:39 PM
If you text me without identifying yourself expect to be deleted and reported as spam scum with extreme prejudice.
Reposted by Matt Twomey
Getting out of the corn ethanol game would help bring down grocery prices and benefit the environment
www.slowboring.com/p/a-cure-for...
www.slowboring.com/p/a-cure-for...
August 8, 2025 at 10:05 AM
Getting out of the corn ethanol game would help bring down grocery prices and benefit the environment
www.slowboring.com/p/a-cure-for...
www.slowboring.com/p/a-cure-for...
Reposted by Matt Twomey
A Nazi owns Twitter, right wing billionaires own the Wall Street Journal and the LA Times, and CBS is run by a right wing nepo baby who just fired one of the network’s biggest stars for criticizing Donald Trump. Here’s why America has a left-wing media bias problem.
July 18, 2025 at 4:52 PM
A Nazi owns Twitter, right wing billionaires own the Wall Street Journal and the LA Times, and CBS is run by a right wing nepo baby who just fired one of the network’s biggest stars for criticizing Donald Trump. Here’s why America has a left-wing media bias problem.
I asked Google how much it cost to build the Empire State Building. Seems ok at first blush, but then you notice something is very wrong. Always fact-check A.I. facts.
July 18, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I asked Google how much it cost to build the Empire State Building. Seems ok at first blush, but then you notice something is very wrong. Always fact-check A.I. facts.