J¡m Vaughn
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jiminyspigot.bsky.social
J¡m Vaughn
@jiminyspigot.bsky.social
AS SEEN ON THE INTERNET!!!

Whirled famous, editorially codependent writer of silly things. Too normal for the weirdos; too weird for the normies. STL based for better or worse. He/him.

(jiminyspigot just about everywhere)
jiminy's animal reviews: The mangrove snake (𝘉𝘰𝘪𝘨𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘢) is a large member of the colubrid family found in the mangroves of southeast Asia. It is classified as “mildly venomous,” which is a hell of a qualifier. 🧵
November 25, 2025 at 2:54 AM
My loaded falafel bowl is better than yours.
November 22, 2025 at 7:16 PM
without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?
November 22, 2025 at 6:05 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: This majestic and noble beast is the markhor (𝘊𝘢𝘱𝘳𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘪), a wild goat species native to the mountains of central and south Asia. It really seems like it could drop some sage wisdom on you. 🧵
November 22, 2025 at 2:11 AM
🎶someone left my drink out in the rain🎶
November 21, 2025 at 2:12 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: This is an Angonoka tortoise (𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘺𝘴 𝘺𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘢), also known as a ploughshare tortoise. No, not because they are notorious swingers, but rather for the plow shaped growth on the front of their plastron (bottom shell). 🧵
November 21, 2025 at 12:14 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: This sky puppy is a Mexican free-tailed bat (𝘛𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴). They are called the Michael Phelps of bats, able to go really fast and get really high. Seriously. 🧵
November 20, 2025 at 2:32 AM
November 19, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Show me your gateway vehicle

(Only the #STL crowd will get this)
November 19, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Votes are in for cyclops cats, and the eyes have it.
November 19, 2025 at 3:17 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: Vying for winner of worst condom ever is the Venus' flower basket (𝘌𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢 𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘮), a glass sponge found in the Pacific Ocean around the Philippines, usually thousands of feet deep. 🧵
November 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: The kha-nyou or Laotian rock rat (𝘓𝘢𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘴) might seem unimpressive upon first sight, but it is the ultimate hide and seek champ. First described to western science in 2005, it belongs to a rodent family thought to have been extinct for eleven million years. 🧵
November 18, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Post your favorite Star Trek character.

Wrong answers only.
November 15, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Hey, for the next two days, if anyone donates $20 or more to this Alzheimer's Association team, my wife will paint you a tasteful butt, as seen below. Higher donation equals bigger painting, and they can be shipped. DM me or I can send you her email for the commission.

act.alz.org/site/TR?fr_i...
November 15, 2025 at 6:18 PM
jiminy's animal reviews: This absolute unit is a Chinese giant salamander (𝘈𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘶𝘴), and in my unbiased opinion, they are worth killing for. There are several species native to East Asia within the genus, and this one isn’t even the largest. 🧵
November 15, 2025 at 12:49 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: This is an Amazon short-eared dog (𝘈𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘺𝘯𝘶𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘴). No, not something Jeff Bezos had the boys in the lab come up with. It’s a rare member of the canine family found in the Amazon basin region. At about 10kg (22lbs), they are small enough to qualify for free shipping. 🧵
November 14, 2025 at 6:12 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: This is an eyelash viper (𝘉𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘪), a snake that evolved a mascara game that’s absolutely on point. Native to the highlands of Colombia, these arboreal ambush hunters slay in more ways than one. 🧵
November 13, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I eat my bananas in aggressively homoerotic ways just to counter shit like this.
November 12, 2025 at 10:13 PM
jiminy's animal reviews: This is a harpy eagle (𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘺𝘫𝘢), and yes, that is a monkey it intends to eat. With a 2m (6.5ft) wingspan and weighing 9kg (20lbs), it can do whatever it wants. It is merely a professional courtesy that it rarely attacks people. 🧵
November 12, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Oh, this one's easy. Wizards.
November 12, 2025 at 12:44 AM
jiminy's animal reviews: This walking HR complaint is a gooseneck barnacle (𝘗𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘴), and they don’t actually walk, but rather attach themselves to almost any surface they can find in the North-East Atlantic Ocean. 🧵
November 11, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Chicken bean soup, that's what.
November 11, 2025 at 12:58 AM
When the temperature drops twenty degrees, it's time for a long contemplative stare into the fire.
November 9, 2025 at 11:12 PM
We’re snailposting, post your snails

A redwood sideband (𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘢) I found in California.
November 9, 2025 at 6:46 PM
The greatest burden of having a cat is knowing you'll never be able to get as comfortable as they do.

##Caturday
November 8, 2025 at 10:21 PM