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J¡m Vaughn

@jiminyspigot.bsky.social

2.4K followers 1.3K following 10K posts

AS SEEN ON THE INTERNET!!! Whirled famous, editorially codependent writer of silly things. Too normal for the weirdos; too weird for the normies. STL based for better or worse. He/him. (jiminyspigot just about everywhere)

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · Feb 12

Not a single reporter at the Superbowl asked any of the Eagles why they didn't fly the Fellowship to Mordor.

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Feral Grumpy, 🎃🦝🥔 @feralgrumpy.bsky.social · 1h

Got fired from the gravy factory for telling people "You'll roux the day."

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 1h

in light of peoples’ bad bunny bowl reactions, I think we need to start confronting people with questions like “why do you believe that you are entitled to enjoy everything that happens?”

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 1h

Got fired as a cashier for telling people, "You'll pay for that."

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 3h

I heard it suggested that Marjorie Taylor Green was visited by three ghosts in the middle of the night. It's a preposterous thing to say.

We all know it would take 𝘧𝘢𝘳 more than three ghosts to get her to rethink her ways.

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Dan Chibnall @bookowl.bsky.social · 4h

That 1985 NLCS Game 5 featured three of the MLB players who would later go on to star in the Simpsons episode "Homer at the Bat" www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/SLN/SL...

a baseball card showing mike scioscia in the springfield nuclear power plant hauling away toxic waste

a springfield isotopes baseball card showing ozzie smith falling down the Springfield Mystery Spot

springfield isotopes baseball card showing baseball player steve sax standing next to homer simpson

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 5h

Wolverine is a loner. He should 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 be part of the X-Men, much less eight other teams.

And Soft Serve should be a more prominent character.

X-Men Don't Need Britches 💙💛 @rphutch1975.bsky.social · 11h

What's an opinion about X-Men that'll get you sent to jail? Is Jean really interesting or really boring? Should Logan have stayed dead? Do you think a certain x-mens outfit is positively horrendous even though people seem to love it?

The Brood Saga is better than Dark Phoenix imo 🤷

J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 5h

Oh, I don't think this one will get you sent to jail. I really liked some of the casting, but why anyone would bother to get Oscar Isaac for a role that should have been voiced and mo-capped is beyond me. It's not like they lacked star power.

Still better than Dark Phoenix, though, lol.

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 5h

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by CBS. We can almost read the news with a straight face!

J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 17h

They are then able to regrow their skin. I did that once, but then the acid wore off.

Rating: 7/10 for letting me get a Jeremy Bentham reference in

J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 17h

Their sand filled digestive tract is visible through their body, like a cursed CAT scan.

When disturbed, they will start glowing and slough off their skin, leaving a luminous floating sac of jello to distract potential predators and hopefully attract even larger ones while they swim away.

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 17h

They are typically found in the benthic zone, which is the area of the ocean directly above sediment, and not where right and wrong are decided. They grow to 22cm (9in) and spend most of their time sucking up sand like a fleshy little vacuum.

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 17h

jiminy's animal reviews: This floating tissue sample is a swimming sea cucumber (𝘌𝘯𝘺𝘱𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘢). Or, if you’re feeling the Halloween spirit, a headless chicken monster. The fact that they can swim makes them fairly unique among sea cucumbers, as most of them crawl like Internet Explorer. 🧵

A glowing translucent reddish pink sea creature, somewhat tubular shaped with fins at the top along with a simply mouth surrounded by small tentacles and a short frilled fin along the bottom.

"Enypniastes eximia" is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/?ref=openverse.

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 20h

Well, you can add KitchenAid stand mixer to the list of shit I can fix.

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 21h

Oh boy, it's 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 day again.

I hope it's nice and warm in Hell for Columbus.

PRAYERS: Mexica

YouTube video by PRAYERS SD

youtu.be

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svart flagg @svartflagg.bsky.social · 1d

Today in Portland, a fed shooting pepper balls from the roof of the ICE facility was so eager to aim for people’s heads, that after shooting one photographer in the head and another in the upper arm, they accidentally shot a DHS agent in the head. This photo shows the moment of impact;

Riot cops standing a street with less-lethal weapons, and one in a gas mask has a cloud of pepper dust around his helmet.

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 1d

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by Hims. Through Hims, all things are possible.

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🐸Klovar🐸 @klovar.cc · Aug 12

every beach is a beach that makes you old

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Caitlin G. DeAngelis @caitlindeangelis.bsky.social · 1d

ICE kidnapped a 7th-grader with a pending asylum claim and spirited him out of state without notifying his parents, seemingly with the cooperation of the local police in Everett, MA.

www.bostonglobe.com/2025/10/12/m...

Everett 13-year-old arrested by ICE and sent to Virginia detention facility
By Marcela Rodrigues Globe Staff,Updated October 12, 2025, 44 minutes ago

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A 13-year-old boy was arrested by ICE in Everett and sent to a juvenile detention facility in Virginia.
A 13-year-old boy was arrested by ICE in Everett and sent to a juvenile detention facility in Virginia.
A 13-year-old boy was arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents in Everett after an interaction with members of the Everett Police Department and sent to a juvenile detention facility in Virginia, according to his mother and immigration lawyer Andrew Lattarulo.

The boy’s mother, Josiele Berto, was called to pick her son up from the Everett Police Department on Thursday, the day he was arrested. After waiting for about an hour and a half, she was told her son was taken by ICE, Berto told the Globe in a phone interview.

“My world collapsed,” Berto said in Portuguese.

From the police department, the boy was taken to ICE’s holding facility in Burlington on Thursday evening, where he spent a night before being transferred by car to the Northwestern Regional Juvenile Detention Center in Winchester, Va., on Friday morning, his mother said. The juvenile facility is more than 500 miles away from Everett.

The boy is a 7th-grader at Albert N. Parlin School in Everett, his mother said. The teen and his family, who are Brazilian nationals, have a pending asylum case and are authorized to work legally in the United States, Lattarulo said.

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 1d

🎶Antifa got himself a girl,
And I wanna make her mine🎶

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Angel of the Ozarks @angeloftheozarks.bsky.social · 1d

Are men just mad because Antifa has a girlfriend and they don't?

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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 1d

Yes.

J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 1d

I was I could get either to grow well in my house.

J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 1d

Monkey Business is my favorite, but rewatching Duck Soup recently made it clear how prescient it is.

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 2d

The "you wouldn't download a car" screen but it reads "you wouldn't scrape all the art ever made and use it to create an Anime titty generator"

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Noam Ross @noamross.net · 2d

Decided to donate to the CDC mutual aid network to support laid-off and furloughed employees. They also have some *excellent* merch: www.cdcresourceportal.org

A candle with the words "Smells like Data Chaos" with a picture of a burning file cabinet.

A postcard with a "Fuck RFK" sign put up to cover a broken window, evoking the bullet-ridden windows from the CDC attack

A mug with the text "FAFO is not a good public health strategy."

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