it is almost *entirely* a consequence of bush v gore

listen, we will probably have at least one more seat if you wanna drive down

(2) 5-spice pumpkin pies, (1) marionberry cobbler, (1) Dutch apple cobbler and at least (1) citrus tart

dude, we are gonna have like five fucking pies, it’s gonna be awesome

way harder to fit in an apartment oven if you’re spatchcocking them all (i did consider this!)

yeah, i though about that, but i have enough wireless thermometers to keep an eye on the temp and keep it even, plus, having it professionally spatchcocked should help, it’s just gonna need to a be a long, slow roast

my friendly retort is: no. i love turkey.

i don’t blame people who did it then if they understand the problem now

if you’re in this category, my recommendation is to keep it to your fucking self

definitely having the butcher spatchcock it though, i am not entirely stupid

yeah, i am considering downgrading, but we fucking demolished a 20 pounder with fewer people last year, and everyone left wanting more leftovers, so i think i am just going for it, everyone deserves a couple days of turkey sandwiches

nader lied to you as a voter and supporter and he lied to his donors about what he intended to do and if your response to that is to shrug, that’s on you, that’s your failure to be accountable for, and i can and will judge you for it, given the consequences

sorry to involve everyone in a dumb argument with an idiot

not until you give me your thoughts on cooking a 30 pound bird, which is the next problem i am trying to solve

YOU HAVE MISSED THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT

to be extremely fucking clear, i am absolutely talking down to you

yes, shithead, it is actually so

yes, the linear passage of time, you dumb motherfucker, an entire decade passed between bush v gore and citizens united and citizens united was decided by a majority led by a chief justice nominated by GWB who always would have ruled it this way, this is not fucking hard to understand