It’s fun starting a new hobby with ADHD because I never know if I’ve found a new lifelong passion or if I’m going to spend $2000 on stuff and immediately lose all interest

Chappell Groan! Ha ha! Got em

I was led to believe by R.E.M. that I would feel a lot better about this.

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Snoopy having a full Thanksgiving meal prepared and ready the entire time because he knew those jerk kids wouldn’t invite him to grandmas is priceless.

I used to love going to the salad bar but then they put up a sneeze guard and turned it into an echo chamber

All right, my Twitter account has been completely deleted.

The Game Boy Advance SP design is perfect, not just because it's very portable, but because its flip phone style means that if you're not doing well at Pokémon Fire Red or whatever, you can just angrily hang up on it.

what was “the incident” at your school?

I lost my keys.