Brock
@brockteee.bsky.social
Deep Fried Philosopher, Uncommon Sense Advocate
The Government isn't shutdown anymore, which is now the perfect opportunity for it to shutup.
November 10, 2025 at 11:01 PM
The Government isn't shutdown anymore, which is now the perfect opportunity for it to shutup.
I hate to see Christmas coming the last couple of years, can somebody cancel Santa Claus? I'm sure he's done something shady over the last 1000 years.
November 3, 2025 at 9:37 PM
I hate to see Christmas coming the last couple of years, can somebody cancel Santa Claus? I'm sure he's done something shady over the last 1000 years.
Everytime I heard the word foliage this time of year, as a kid, I always thought my family was just really impressed with tin foil.
October 30, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Everytime I heard the word foliage this time of year, as a kid, I always thought my family was just really impressed with tin foil.
Trunk-or-treat sounds more like a kidnapping propostion.
October 27, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Trunk-or-treat sounds more like a kidnapping propostion.
Today at the self-check out, the scan gun started ringing and I had a flashback to 1998, then answered the damn thing.
October 23, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Today at the self-check out, the scan gun started ringing and I had a flashback to 1998, then answered the damn thing.
Would you like some scorn with that Scone?
October 22, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Would you like some scorn with that Scone?
People keep telling me that I should give straight, black coffee a chance but why does it feel like I'm being set up for a date?
October 21, 2025 at 8:19 PM
People keep telling me that I should give straight, black coffee a chance but why does it feel like I'm being set up for a date?
If you show me a picture on your phone, I'm swiping left to watch you panic.
October 16, 2025 at 5:00 PM
If you show me a picture on your phone, I'm swiping left to watch you panic.
I bet Netflix has it right, these serial killers were just charismatic romantics who just made a few mistakes along the way.
October 7, 2025 at 9:45 PM
I bet Netflix has it right, these serial killers were just charismatic romantics who just made a few mistakes along the way.
So far this week online, I've learned that pumpkins and cool air activate feral witches.
October 2, 2025 at 2:53 PM
So far this week online, I've learned that pumpkins and cool air activate feral witches.
Stop panic skeeting or I'm taking your phone away.
September 30, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Stop panic skeeting or I'm taking your phone away.
Raptured mid-intercourse = the ultimate edging
September 23, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Raptured mid-intercourse = the ultimate edging
Reposted by Brock
Probably my favorite greeting when arriving to a gig is "who hired you" or "nobody told us anything about that"
September 23, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Probably my favorite greeting when arriving to a gig is "who hired you" or "nobody told us anything about that"
Churches could at least be serving rapture scones and coffee.
September 23, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Churches could at least be serving rapture scones and coffee.
The Rapture is happening tomorrow apparently, so if you don't wanna go, i highly recommend chaining yourself to cinder blocks.
September 22, 2025 at 2:11 PM
The Rapture is happening tomorrow apparently, so if you don't wanna go, i highly recommend chaining yourself to cinder blocks.
Hope you find everything you are looking for in life, especially that tv remote that you haven't seen in 6 months.
September 15, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Hope you find everything you are looking for in life, especially that tv remote that you haven't seen in 6 months.
*Pressure washes timeline for 12 hours*
September 11, 2025 at 6:56 PM
*Pressure washes timeline for 12 hours*
My mom is a boomer so if she sent me 70k text messages it would take her 70k years to send them.
September 9, 2025 at 4:41 PM
My mom is a boomer so if she sent me 70k text messages it would take her 70k years to send them.
Reposted by Brock
Waiter: may i recommend the steak?
Dracula: you may not
Dracula: you may not
September 8, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Waiter: may i recommend the steak?
Dracula: you may not
Dracula: you may not
"I'm not overcaffeinated!" I said, as I was jogging the block in my sleep.
September 4, 2025 at 9:15 PM
"I'm not overcaffeinated!" I said, as I was jogging the block in my sleep.
Reposted by Brock
My Onlyfans would be called GrannieFans and it would just be me sharing anecdotes from my teens in the 80’s.
September 3, 2025 at 8:03 PM
My Onlyfans would be called GrannieFans and it would just be me sharing anecdotes from my teens in the 80’s.
Reposted by Brock
the problem with aging is that none of you seem to be able to read my bangers
September 3, 2025 at 7:29 PM
the problem with aging is that none of you seem to be able to read my bangers
Drinking a pumpkin spice latte and haven't been called a basic white bitch yet.
September 3, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Drinking a pumpkin spice latte and haven't been called a basic white bitch yet.
It’s almost Fall, so be on the look out for well-dressed families wondering through the woods with photographers.
August 29, 2025 at 2:32 PM
It’s almost Fall, so be on the look out for well-dressed families wondering through the woods with photographers.