atleast1000snakes
@atleast1000snakes.bsky.social
entering my “do i look like i know what a jpeg is” era
Pinned
an egyptian trying to ask his wife about going on a walk in front of their excitable dog but having to spell it out because he knows that word: honey, would you like to go on a kneeling man-heron with wings raised-scarab-standing man-barley?
bout to become lizard woke
November 25, 2025 at 1:13 AM
bout to become lizard woke
i think the baristas should strike by pouring coffee on every customer until the deal is signed. move on to throwing breakfast items if the suits wanna play hardball.
November 24, 2025 at 9:47 PM
i think the baristas should strike by pouring coffee on every customer until the deal is signed. move on to throwing breakfast items if the suits wanna play hardball.
annabelle millimeter invented the ruler, but ironically the first rulers were all in inches. it wouldn’t be until centuries later when thomas yardstick invented a new measuring system and named the units “millimeters” in honor of the inventor of the ruler.
November 24, 2025 at 9:45 PM
annabelle millimeter invented the ruler, but ironically the first rulers were all in inches. it wouldn’t be until centuries later when thomas yardstick invented a new measuring system and named the units “millimeters” in honor of the inventor of the ruler.
got the wrong injection, it was a vaccident
November 24, 2025 at 4:13 PM
got the wrong injection, it was a vaccident
Reposted by atleast1000snakes
i guarantee there are conservatives who think these guys invented communism
“AT THE CIRCUS” (1939) dir. Edward Buzzell
Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx
🎬 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx
🎬 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
November 24, 2025 at 3:39 AM
i guarantee there are conservatives who think these guys invented communism
me when i go to the geology store: i wanna rock right now i wanna i wanna rock right now
November 24, 2025 at 12:25 AM
me when i go to the geology store: i wanna rock right now i wanna i wanna rock right now
big bird was supposed to go up on the challenger but was swapped with a teacher at the last minute, but elmo had already tampered with the o-ring and there wasn’t time to fix it without anyone knowing
November 23, 2025 at 11:13 PM
big bird was supposed to go up on the challenger but was swapped with a teacher at the last minute, but elmo had already tampered with the o-ring and there wasn’t time to fix it without anyone knowing
saying i “like” gas station taquitos is like saying micheal jordan “likes” basketball
November 23, 2025 at 8:53 PM
saying i “like” gas station taquitos is like saying micheal jordan “likes” basketball
i dunno, if my best work was decades behind me i’d probably crash out on bluesky too
November 23, 2025 at 5:04 PM
i dunno, if my best work was decades behind me i’d probably crash out on bluesky too
my inflatable frog costume may look harmless but it’s actually stuffed to the gills with highly-trained, highly-armed tactical gnomes ready to deploy at a moment’s notice
November 23, 2025 at 3:31 PM
my inflatable frog costume may look harmless but it’s actually stuffed to the gills with highly-trained, highly-armed tactical gnomes ready to deploy at a moment’s notice
tiny objects float around me from the mental bleed off as my quantum brain uses all its power to calculate the best time to ask my boss if i can go home
November 23, 2025 at 2:13 PM
tiny objects float around me from the mental bleed off as my quantum brain uses all its power to calculate the best time to ask my boss if i can go home
senator! senator! what do you have to say about this vote? senator! any truth to the rumors you have a weird-shaped dick? senator! have you proposed an alternative budget? senator! me again, they say it’s curly like a hog’s tail. senator! what about international relations? senator! how do you pee?
November 23, 2025 at 1:05 PM
senator! senator! what do you have to say about this vote? senator! any truth to the rumors you have a weird-shaped dick? senator! have you proposed an alternative budget? senator! me again, they say it’s curly like a hog’s tail. senator! what about international relations? senator! how do you pee?
retvrn but for an online that was about arguing over if a digimon could fit in a poké-ball instead of a sea of nazi robots trying to make me racist
November 22, 2025 at 11:23 PM
retvrn but for an online that was about arguing over if a digimon could fit in a poké-ball instead of a sea of nazi robots trying to make me racist
if there’s an rfk sex tape i will never look at a screen ever again
November 22, 2025 at 11:10 PM
if there’s an rfk sex tape i will never look at a screen ever again
i fear i am being compelled to do crafts. visions intrude into my mind of neat lil things and painted lil guys. the call of the 3d printer has never truly abated, and I secretly yearn to make lots of dumb bullshit despite my outward protestations.
November 22, 2025 at 5:26 PM
i fear i am being compelled to do crafts. visions intrude into my mind of neat lil things and painted lil guys. the call of the 3d printer has never truly abated, and I secretly yearn to make lots of dumb bullshit despite my outward protestations.
hmph. well i don’t like that. grok, make up some bullshit about why i’m right anyways.
November 22, 2025 at 3:10 PM
hmph. well i don’t like that. grok, make up some bullshit about why i’m right anyways.
funny that my young self dropped out of being a mass comm major because i was concerned about unethical practices in private news companies only to learn i could have been felching decrepit worm-brained politicians this whole time jesus fuck i fucking hate it here oh my god
November 22, 2025 at 3:06 PM
funny that my young self dropped out of being a mass comm major because i was concerned about unethical practices in private news companies only to learn i could have been felching decrepit worm-brained politicians this whole time jesus fuck i fucking hate it here oh my god
if i ever got retweeted it would mean i could get a lucrative career being a bluesky influencer and could kick my boss in the face like trinity from the opening scene of the first matrix movie
November 22, 2025 at 2:59 PM
if i ever got retweeted it would mean i could get a lucrative career being a bluesky influencer and could kick my boss in the face like trinity from the opening scene of the first matrix movie
i like that i can recite the entirety of steamed hams but can’t remember my pin half the time
November 22, 2025 at 2:39 PM
i like that i can recite the entirety of steamed hams but can’t remember my pin half the time
me watching a 2001 american science fiction drama film directed by steven spielberg and the screenplay by spielberg and screen story by ian watson are loosely based on the 1969 short story "supertoys last all summer long" by brian aldiss: is this ai
November 22, 2025 at 2:10 PM
me watching a 2001 american science fiction drama film directed by steven spielberg and the screenplay by spielberg and screen story by ian watson are loosely based on the 1969 short story "supertoys last all summer long" by brian aldiss: is this ai
pondering … pondering … pondering … enlightened. congratulations, your orb updated to the current version.
November 22, 2025 at 1:24 PM
pondering … pondering … pondering … enlightened. congratulations, your orb updated to the current version.
today’s mission: mix mysterious beakers of liquid and go hmm
November 22, 2025 at 1:21 PM
today’s mission: mix mysterious beakers of liquid and go hmm
my job is to walk around the science facility holding a clipboard and to not look in the vents
November 22, 2025 at 1:15 PM
my job is to walk around the science facility holding a clipboard and to not look in the vents
they eat ghosts
Southern American Horned Frogs are also known as Pac-Man Frogs. Any guesses as to why?
November 22, 2025 at 12:51 PM
they eat ghosts
despite my vim and vigor i am actually one million thousand years old
November 22, 2025 at 3:15 AM
despite my vim and vigor i am actually one million thousand years old