Alice M. Phillips
@alicemphillips.bsky.social
Prone to falling down rabbit holes.
Humor writer and comedian with work in Reductress, McSweeney's, Points in Case, The Belladonna, Slackjaw, and elsewhere.
https://www.alicemphillips.com
Prev.: Davidson, NYU Law, POTUS 44, and public defense in SC.
Humor writer and comedian with work in Reductress, McSweeney's, Points in Case, The Belladonna, Slackjaw, and elsewhere.
https://www.alicemphillips.com
Prev.: Davidson, NYU Law, POTUS 44, and public defense in SC.
Learn from my mistake: a Halloween haunted car wash is not age appropriate for a 3-year-old. If you go anyway, plan on at least half of your conversations for the next 4+ weeks to be about how the blood wasn’t real, there’s no grim reaper, etc. Expect some of these chats at 10 PM when he’s scared 😩
November 21, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Learn from my mistake: a Halloween haunted car wash is not age appropriate for a 3-year-old. If you go anyway, plan on at least half of your conversations for the next 4+ weeks to be about how the blood wasn’t real, there’s no grim reaper, etc. Expect some of these chats at 10 PM when he’s scared 😩
Okay, bud, you have about 26 hours left to be a Scorpio...last call! In 2 hours we've reached term!!! 😍
November 20, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Okay, bud, you have about 26 hours left to be a Scorpio...last call! In 2 hours we've reached term!!! 😍
S.323 is dead!!!!!!!!! Good work y’all. Organizing and activism and showing up can make all the difference!
November 19, 2025 at 2:36 AM
S.323 is dead!!!!!!!!! Good work y’all. Organizing and activism and showing up can make all the difference!
If you want an honest opinion on your singing, get a cat. When I start singing, one cat runs away in horror and hides and the other flies across the house to bite my legs until I stop.
November 18, 2025 at 9:21 PM
If you want an honest opinion on your singing, get a cat. When I start singing, one cat runs away in horror and hides and the other flies across the house to bite my legs until I stop.
Have officially arrived at the same gestational day on which my firstborn came, a few days preterm. I’m hopeful this guy is going to hang in there another 2 weeks and change till his induction date, but it does suddenly feel very real!
November 18, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Have officially arrived at the same gestational day on which my firstborn came, a few days preterm. I’m hopeful this guy is going to hang in there another 2 weeks and change till his induction date, but it does suddenly feel very real!
This is what 50501 SC is reporting.
#50501SC Statement on the shooting at the #ColumbiaSC #PlannedParenthood this morning
Mark Baumgartner, head of forced-birth nonprofit A Moment of Hope, can be seen in video standing over the unarmed passerby who he pepper sprayed and shot outside of the Columbia Planned Parenthood on 11/14. #scpol
Mark Baumgartner, head of forced-birth nonprofit A Moment of Hope, can be seen in video standing over the unarmed passerby who he pepper sprayed and shot outside of the Columbia Planned Parenthood on 11/14. #scpol
November 14, 2025 at 7:27 PM
This is what 50501 SC is reporting.
I've been refreshing the public court records and inmate list for this guy and he has not popped up as of yet, as having been booked or charged.
Reports so far->male shooter, one male shot (stable, at hospital). All PP staff, patients, volunteers okay. Occurred in adjacent parking lot. CPD investigating; FBI notified. Local rag (news blog) reporting shooter was founder of pro-life mission that stands on sidewalk by PP entrance on Tues/Fri.
Wtf! Shooting at the Planned Parenthood across from my neighborhood!
November 14, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I've been refreshing the public court records and inmate list for this guy and he has not popped up as of yet, as having been booked or charged.
Reports so far->male shooter, one male shot (stable, at hospital). All PP staff, patients, volunteers okay. Occurred in adjacent parking lot. CPD investigating; FBI notified. Local rag (news blog) reporting shooter was founder of pro-life mission that stands on sidewalk by PP entrance on Tues/Fri.
Wtf! Shooting at the Planned Parenthood across from my neighborhood!
November 14, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Reports so far->male shooter, one male shot (stable, at hospital). All PP staff, patients, volunteers okay. Occurred in adjacent parking lot. CPD investigating; FBI notified. Local rag (news blog) reporting shooter was founder of pro-life mission that stands on sidewalk by PP entrance on Tues/Fri.
Wtf! Shooting at the Planned Parenthood across from my neighborhood!
November 14, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Wtf! Shooting at the Planned Parenthood across from my neighborhood!
Reposted by Alice M. Phillips
welcome back. if you're just joining us, nazis are defending pedophiles
November 13, 2025 at 11:59 PM
welcome back. if you're just joining us, nazis are defending pedophiles
Voted early in our muni run-off! Columbia, early vote continues today/tomorrow at 2020 Hampton, and Election Day is Tues, 11/18 at precincts! (Confirm at SCvotes.gov) Voted for Sam Johnson & Julie Lumpkin who I believe will be more compassionate toward ALL Cola folk, including our unhoused citizens.
November 13, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Voted early in our muni run-off! Columbia, early vote continues today/tomorrow at 2020 Hampton, and Election Day is Tues, 11/18 at precincts! (Confirm at SCvotes.gov) Voted for Sam Johnson & Julie Lumpkin who I believe will be more compassionate toward ALL Cola folk, including our unhoused citizens.
Tomorrow, my state, SC, will execute a 44-year-old man named Stephen Bryant by firing squad. Gov. McMaster has never granted relief of any sort, so I’m sure it will go forward. I’m still calling him to plead. The last firing squad execution was botched, with Mr. Mahdi taking several minutes to die.
November 13, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Tomorrow, my state, SC, will execute a 44-year-old man named Stephen Bryant by firing squad. Gov. McMaster has never granted relief of any sort, so I’m sure it will go forward. I’m still calling him to plead. The last firing squad execution was botched, with Mr. Mahdi taking several minutes to die.
I need the nesting urge to kick in ASAP. Baby is coming in 3 weeks or less, I haven’t packed a hospital bag, I haven’t finished getting our guest room ready yet, and the house is a wreck 😩
November 12, 2025 at 9:27 PM
I need the nesting urge to kick in ASAP. Baby is coming in 3 weeks or less, I haven’t packed a hospital bag, I haven’t finished getting our guest room ready yet, and the house is a wreck 😩
HA!!! Kim Davis's cert petition challenging Obergefell denied at SCOTUS. A good sign that ACB's reliance argument won the day with at least one fellow conservative justice (and how interesting that not even Thomas dissented!). A very large bit of good news today.
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 PM
HA!!! Kim Davis's cert petition challenging Obergefell denied at SCOTUS. A good sign that ACB's reliance argument won the day with at least one fellow conservative justice (and how interesting that not even Thomas dissented!). A very large bit of good news today.
Praying folk, need your services please--I'm huge/9 months pregnant and presently have to catch and wrestle a cat into a carrier.
November 10, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Praying folk, need your services please--I'm huge/9 months pregnant and presently have to catch and wrestle a cat into a carrier.
Reposted by Alice M. Phillips
look I know being an engaged citizen IS the work of democracy but it is also the work of elected officials not to create situations where everyone has to be mobilized all the time to prevent them from allowing some kind of Dickensian horror on a Sunday night while you're in between loads of laundry
November 9, 2025 at 11:37 PM
look I know being an engaged citizen IS the work of democracy but it is also the work of elected officials not to create situations where everyone has to be mobilized all the time to prevent them from allowing some kind of Dickensian horror on a Sunday night while you're in between loads of laundry
Here's the best way I can illustrate what it's like to have a 3 year old:
You pull your Chapstick out of your bag and remove the cap. The cylinder of balm has been twisted to its maximum height and a bite has been taken out of the end of it.
You pull your Chapstick out of your bag and remove the cap. The cylinder of balm has been twisted to its maximum height and a bite has been taken out of the end of it.
November 10, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Here's the best way I can illustrate what it's like to have a 3 year old:
You pull your Chapstick out of your bag and remove the cap. The cylinder of balm has been twisted to its maximum height and a bite has been taken out of the end of it.
You pull your Chapstick out of your bag and remove the cap. The cylinder of balm has been twisted to its maximum height and a bite has been taken out of the end of it.
Hey, NY Times, The New Yorker has entered the chat.
November 9, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Hey, NY Times, The New Yorker has entered the chat.
Reposted by Alice M. Phillips
Cruelty really is the point. Who else would go to court begging for permission to starve their own citizens? Meanwhile, they send $40 billion to Argentina, buying two private jets for ICE “Barbie,” and Trump has already burned through $1 trillion in less than two months.
November 8, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Cruelty really is the point. Who else would go to court begging for permission to starve their own citizens? Meanwhile, they send $40 billion to Argentina, buying two private jets for ICE “Barbie,” and Trump has already burned through $1 trillion in less than two months.
Reposted by Alice M. Phillips
This is really important. Like, I'm pretty left, and very woke (different axis). But I am 100% here for the broad coalition, the popular front, against MAGA. Bulwark-Liberal Currents-Zeteo Alliance.
The factional grifters will hate this, but the Mamdani-Spanberger-Sherrill axis actually suggests the outlines of a broad, emerging Dem coalition organized around both anti-Trump *and* affordability politics, not a party bitterly divided against itself.
These big wins will embolden Dems to take on Trump's lawbreaking and show there's a price for GOP enabling of him. Folks hate to hear this, but normal patterns are asserting themselves: Liberalism isn't dead, Rs are likely to lose in 2026, and Trump is really unpopular, not a magical exception.
November 5, 2025 at 4:23 AM
This is really important. Like, I'm pretty left, and very woke (different axis). But I am 100% here for the broad coalition, the popular front, against MAGA. Bulwark-Liberal Currents-Zeteo Alliance.
Who would have guessed that a cat we found destroying our basement a year ago would be SO ANNOYING at 5 AM? 😩
November 5, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Who would have guessed that a cat we found destroying our basement a year ago would be SO ANNOYING at 5 AM? 😩
Reposted by Alice M. Phillips
There is nothing “radical” about wanting a more equitable city. About wanting to be able to afford rent. About seeing the gap between the rich and the poor growing beyond comprehension. Any mainstream media organization portraying these promises as such is doing a disservice to the industry.
November 5, 2025 at 4:32 AM
There is nothing “radical” about wanting a more equitable city. About wanting to be able to afford rent. About seeing the gap between the rich and the poor growing beyond comprehension. Any mainstream media organization portraying these promises as such is doing a disservice to the industry.
In this era of generative AI, why does autocorrect suddenly keep trying to sign my name on emails as Slice and Alive 😑
November 4, 2025 at 12:48 PM
In this era of generative AI, why does autocorrect suddenly keep trying to sign my name on emails as Slice and Alive 😑