Dan Orlowitz
@aishiterutokyo.bsky.social
Sports (& more!) journalist (ditto) in Japan | Lots of soccer but sometimes everything else | available for commissions | nerdy shit at @nerdy.tokyo | all hot takes my own | 日本語OK | Philly & Tokyo>>> | he/him | danorlowitz.carrd.co
Two-part, 8-hour collab between him and Hbomberguy, the Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame of internet commentary
November 30, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Two-part, 8-hour collab between him and Hbomberguy, the Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame of internet commentary
There's an r/soccer thread that explains this is related to the Premiere League U12 Christmas Truce Tournament, but like... surely this is photoshopped?
There is no way Kaoru Mitoma sees this and goes "oh yeah this is totally something I should be taking a photo with," I'd hope???
There is no way Kaoru Mitoma sees this and goes "oh yeah this is totally something I should be taking a photo with," I'd hope???
November 29, 2025 at 9:57 AM
There's an r/soccer thread that explains this is related to the Premiere League U12 Christmas Truce Tournament, but like... surely this is photoshopped?
There is no way Kaoru Mitoma sees this and goes "oh yeah this is totally something I should be taking a photo with," I'd hope???
There is no way Kaoru Mitoma sees this and goes "oh yeah this is totally something I should be taking a photo with," I'd hope???
I had my suspicions and no way to look it up, but fortunately the #JLeague has confirmed in a press release that today's J2 attendance was the largest *ever* for a J2 round, eclipsing the previous mark of 129,829 set in Round 42 of 2016 (for continued emphasis, back when the J2 still had 22 teams!)
November 29, 2025 at 9:42 AM
I had my suspicions and no way to look it up, but fortunately the #JLeague has confirmed in a press release that today's J2 attendance was the largest *ever* for a J2 round, eclipsing the previous mark of 129,829 set in Round 42 of 2016 (for continued emphasis, back when the J2 still had 22 teams!)
FC Osaka will be playing their home games in Tottori???
November 29, 2025 at 9:37 AM
FC Osaka will be playing their home games in Tottori???
Your J2 Promotion Playoff bracket:
(3) FC Osaka vs. (6) Zweigen Kanazawa
(4) Tegevajaro Miyazaki vs. (5) Kagoshima United
Not just any Kyushu Derby but a South Kyushu Derby!
(3) FC Osaka vs. (6) Zweigen Kanazawa
(4) Tegevajaro Miyazaki vs. (5) Kagoshima United
Not just any Kyushu Derby but a South Kyushu Derby!
November 29, 2025 at 8:06 AM
Your J2 Promotion Playoff bracket:
(3) FC Osaka vs. (6) Zweigen Kanazawa
(4) Tegevajaro Miyazaki vs. (5) Kagoshima United
Not just any Kyushu Derby but a South Kyushu Derby!
(3) FC Osaka vs. (6) Zweigen Kanazawa
(4) Tegevajaro Miyazaki vs. (5) Kagoshima United
Not just any Kyushu Derby but a South Kyushu Derby!
FULL TIME IN KANAZAWA!
Zweigen Kanazawa beat Kagoshima United 4-2 to slip into sixth place and the final playoff spot.
Tochigi SC, one point behind, are on the outside looking in as City move up to the J2. Pretty rough for their fans!
Zweigen Kanazawa beat Kagoshima United 4-2 to slip into sixth place and the final playoff spot.
Tochigi SC, one point behind, are on the outside looking in as City move up to the J2. Pretty rough for their fans!
November 29, 2025 at 8:04 AM
FULL TIME IN KANAZAWA!
Zweigen Kanazawa beat Kagoshima United 4-2 to slip into sixth place and the final playoff spot.
Tochigi SC, one point behind, are on the outside looking in as City move up to the J2. Pretty rough for their fans!
Zweigen Kanazawa beat Kagoshima United 4-2 to slip into sixth place and the final playoff spot.
Tochigi SC, one point behind, are on the outside looking in as City move up to the J2. Pretty rough for their fans!
Full time down in Sagamihara as Tochigi City cap their first JLeague season with the J3 title.
November 29, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Full time down in Sagamihara as Tochigi City cap their first JLeague season with the J3 title.
FULL TIME IN OKINAWA CITY!
Congratulations to Vanraure Hachinohe, who have held on for a 1-1 draw with FC Ryukyu to clinch second place and their first-ever J2 promotion.
After seven years in the J3, hey will become Aomori Prefecture's first team to reach the second flight.
Congratulations to Vanraure Hachinohe, who have held on for a 1-1 draw with FC Ryukyu to clinch second place and their first-ever J2 promotion.
After seven years in the J3, hey will become Aomori Prefecture's first team to reach the second flight.
November 29, 2025 at 7:56 AM
FULL TIME IN OKINAWA CITY!
Congratulations to Vanraure Hachinohe, who have held on for a 1-1 draw with FC Ryukyu to clinch second place and their first-ever J2 promotion.
After seven years in the J3, hey will become Aomori Prefecture's first team to reach the second flight.
Congratulations to Vanraure Hachinohe, who have held on for a 1-1 draw with FC Ryukyu to clinch second place and their first-ever J2 promotion.
After seven years in the J3, hey will become Aomori Prefecture's first team to reach the second flight.
FC Osaka have retaken the lead, which means Vanraure have to avoid fucking up in these last few minutes or else they'll cede second place on a tiebreaker.
November 29, 2025 at 7:48 AM
FC Osaka have retaken the lead, which means Vanraure have to avoid fucking up in these last few minutes or else they'll cede second place on a tiebreaker.
Now that I am back at home - Tochigi City are curbstomping SC Sagamihara 5-0, and FC Ryukyu are tied 1-1 with Vanraure Hachinohe but down to 10 men.
FC Gifu have just scored against FC Osaka to even that game up at 2-2, which could shake up the J2 Promotion Playoff bracket...
FC Gifu have just scored against FC Osaka to even that game up at 2-2, which could shake up the J2 Promotion Playoff bracket...
November 29, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Now that I am back at home - Tochigi City are curbstomping SC Sagamihara 5-0, and FC Ryukyu are tied 1-1 with Vanraure Hachinohe but down to 10 men.
FC Gifu have just scored against FC Osaka to even that game up at 2-2, which could shake up the J2 Promotion Playoff bracket...
FC Gifu have just scored against FC Osaka to even that game up at 2-2, which could shake up the J2 Promotion Playoff bracket...
So your J1 Promotion Playoff will be:
(3) JEF United Chiba vs. (6) RB Omiya Ardija
(4) Tokushima Vortis vs. (5) Jubilo Iwata
High seed hosts *and* advances in the event of a draw after 90 minutes.
(3) JEF United Chiba vs. (6) RB Omiya Ardija
(4) Tokushima Vortis vs. (5) Jubilo Iwata
High seed hosts *and* advances in the event of a draw after 90 minutes.
November 29, 2025 at 7:38 AM
So your J1 Promotion Playoff will be:
(3) JEF United Chiba vs. (6) RB Omiya Ardija
(4) Tokushima Vortis vs. (5) Jubilo Iwata
High seed hosts *and* advances in the event of a draw after 90 minutes.
(3) JEF United Chiba vs. (6) RB Omiya Ardija
(4) Tokushima Vortis vs. (5) Jubilo Iwata
High seed hosts *and* advances in the event of a draw after 90 minutes.
When it’s 11:55 and you have until midnight to submit your essay.
November 29, 2025 at 7:09 AM
When it’s 11:55 and you have until midnight to submit your essay.
JEF will have a seeded home advantage in the playoffs, it’s not like they’ve biffed it multiple times before…
November 29, 2025 at 7:06 AM
JEF will have a seeded home advantage in the playoffs, it’s not like they’ve biffed it multiple times before…
FULL TIME IN TOKUSHIMA!
Welcome back to the J1 V-Varen Nagasaki and congratulations to Mito Hollyhock on winning the J2!
Welcome back to the J1 V-Varen Nagasaki and congratulations to Mito Hollyhock on winning the J2!
November 29, 2025 at 7:03 AM
FULL TIME IN TOKUSHIMA!
Welcome back to the J1 V-Varen Nagasaki and congratulations to Mito Hollyhock on winning the J2!
Welcome back to the J1 V-Varen Nagasaki and congratulations to Mito Hollyhock on winning the J2!
JUBILO SCORE AGAIN!
Full time in Chiba as well. Unless Tokushika score soon they’re locked into third.
Full time in Chiba as well. Unless Tokushika score soon they’re locked into third.
November 29, 2025 at 6:57 AM
JUBILO SCORE AGAIN!
Full time in Chiba as well. Unless Tokushika score soon they’re locked into third.
Full time in Chiba as well. Unless Tokushika score soon they’re locked into third.
FULL TIME IN MITO! Welcome to the J1, Mito Hollyhock!
November 29, 2025 at 6:55 AM
FULL TIME IN MITO! Welcome to the J1, Mito Hollyhock!
TOSU EQUALIZE AGAINST IWATA
November 29, 2025 at 6:54 AM
TOSU EQUALIZE AGAINST IWATA
IWAKI SCORE AGAINST SENDAI
GET ABSOLUTELY FUCKED
GET ABSOLUTELY FUCKED
November 29, 2025 at 6:48 AM
IWAKI SCORE AGAINST SENDAI
GET ABSOLUTELY FUCKED
GET ABSOLUTELY FUCKED
JUBILO AND YAMAGUCHI BOTH SCORED?!?!
Sendai could miss the playoffs altogether unless they find a goal!
Sendai could miss the playoffs altogether unless they find a goal!
November 29, 2025 at 6:44 AM
JUBILO AND YAMAGUCHI BOTH SCORED?!?!
Sendai could miss the playoffs altogether unless they find a goal!
Sendai could miss the playoffs altogether unless they find a goal!
MITO SCORE AGAIN I THINK THAT’S A WRAP
November 29, 2025 at 6:36 AM
MITO SCORE AGAIN I THINK THAT’S A WRAP