Zack Handlen
@zhandlen.bsky.social
Writer, weirdo
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/zhandlen
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/zhandlen
Pinned
Zack Handlen
@zhandlen.bsky.social
· Sep 22
Autism is not a disease, you fucks.
worst part about my current mess is the constant anxiety that i can't really do anything about. in terms of my mental health, i am actually ok. were it not for the fact that i am not making enough money to pay bills/rent/food, my life would be pretty great.
February 17, 2026 at 5:45 PM
worst part about my current mess is the constant anxiety that i can't really do anything about. in terms of my mental health, i am actually ok. were it not for the fact that i am not making enough money to pay bills/rent/food, my life would be pretty great.
I'm now taking commissions for movie reviews! You--yes you--can tell your friends, "I made Zack watch [movie that is probably fine] so he could afford dinner tonight!"
okay, in my latest attempt at the hustle, i'm adding an option to buy a movie review from my Patreon. I'm not sure I set this post up right--I want people to be able to read the bulk of it without paying so they know what they're buying, but i'm not sure if it worked.
Commission a movie review! | Zack Handlen Writes
Get more from Zack Handlen Writes on Patreon
www.patreon.com
February 17, 2026 at 3:21 PM
I'm now taking commissions for movie reviews! You--yes you--can tell your friends, "I made Zack watch [movie that is probably fine] so he could afford dinner tonight!"
still enjoying Nioh 3, but it’s shortcomings really do underline what made Elden Ring remarkable—a whole huge world that kept astounding you with its intricacy and design, where places felt like they had history, or even intent.
February 17, 2026 at 2:50 AM
still enjoying Nioh 3, but it’s shortcomings really do underline what made Elden Ring remarkable—a whole huge world that kept astounding you with its intricacy and design, where places felt like they had history, or even intent.
feel like I’m the protagonist of a Safdie brothers movie lately, only I’m too self-aware to get off on the stress. “This is how I lose!” playing over and over in my head.
February 17, 2026 at 12:50 AM
feel like I’m the protagonist of a Safdie brothers movie lately, only I’m too self-aware to get off on the stress. “This is how I lose!” playing over and over in my head.
okay, I am restarting Malazan Book of the Fallen, the ten book fantasy series by Steven Erikson. Last time I made it book 8. This time, I’m gonna finish it.
February 16, 2026 at 11:23 PM
okay, I am restarting Malazan Book of the Fallen, the ten book fantasy series by Steven Erikson. Last time I made it book 8. This time, I’m gonna finish it.
all right, so i've started arranging collections on my Patreon shop--if you don't want the trouble of subscribing and would like to just buy a season's worth of my reviews, here's your chance:
Zack Handlen Writes | Patreon
creating Weekly TV reviews
www.patreon.com
February 16, 2026 at 11:01 PM
all right, so i've started arranging collections on my Patreon shop--if you don't want the trouble of subscribing and would like to just buy a season's worth of my reviews, here's your chance:
yeah so the reason i keep scrambling for money here is that i've only managed to find a part-time job (that will, eventually, be full-time), so i have no health care, and the only way i've been able to survive this long is by emptying my retirement account, which is now empty.
February 16, 2026 at 10:08 PM
yeah so the reason i keep scrambling for money here is that i've only managed to find a part-time job (that will, eventually, be full-time), so i have no health care, and the only way i've been able to survive this long is by emptying my retirement account, which is now empty.
if you're one of the few who've stuck it out, we're getting near the end of coverage of The Stand! I talked a bit about Stu and Tom's journey, which is always one of my favorite segments of the book:
The Stand, Book Three: Chapters 74-75 | Zack Handlen Writes
Get more from Zack Handlen Writes on Patreon
www.patreon.com
February 16, 2026 at 9:43 PM
if you're one of the few who've stuck it out, we're getting near the end of coverage of The Stand! I talked a bit about Stu and Tom's journey, which is always one of my favorite segments of the book:
I do! And any help is appreciated.
February 16, 2026 at 8:41 PM
I do! And any help is appreciated.
okay, in my latest attempt at the hustle, i'm adding an option to buy a movie review from my Patreon. I'm not sure I set this post up right--I want people to be able to read the bulk of it without paying so they know what they're buying, but i'm not sure if it worked.
Commission a movie review! | Zack Handlen Writes
Get more from Zack Handlen Writes on Patreon
www.patreon.com
February 16, 2026 at 5:30 PM
okay, in my latest attempt at the hustle, i'm adding an option to buy a movie review from my Patreon. I'm not sure I set this post up right--I want people to be able to read the bulk of it without paying so they know what they're buying, but i'm not sure if it worked.
Reposted by Zack Handlen
First tried the Orphan of Kos on BLOODBORNE NG+ and I recorded it! www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaQS...
February 16, 2026 at 2:56 AM
First tried the Orphan of Kos on BLOODBORNE NG+ and I recorded it! www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaQS...
Reposted by Zack Handlen
Oooh good one. I think getting Miquella’s needle and making my way all the way to Dragonlord Placidusax to remove the frenzied flame. It felt like a real achievement
February 16, 2026 at 2:58 AM
Oooh good one. I think getting Miquella’s needle and making my way all the way to Dragonlord Placidusax to remove the frenzied flame. It felt like a real achievement
Reposted by Zack Handlen
Fallout New Vegas: Dead Money. First run of the game ever, didn't make a bailout save file so it was figure it out or lose 60+ hours, was NOT prepared for the mechanics at all, had to pull up youtube walkthroughs and watch other people navigate certain parts to get through them, and i fucking did.
with the understanding that it’s all a bit silly and that’s okay, what’s your proudest video game accomplishment?
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
February 16, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Fallout New Vegas: Dead Money. First run of the game ever, didn't make a bailout save file so it was figure it out or lose 60+ hours, was NOT prepared for the mechanics at all, had to pull up youtube walkthroughs and watch other people navigate certain parts to get through them, and i fucking did.
Reposted by Zack Handlen
Beating Mr King Dice in Cuphead felt incredible. More so than beating the entire game, since I found the final boss much easier.
February 16, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Beating Mr King Dice in Cuphead felt incredible. More so than beating the entire game, since I found the final boss much easier.
Reposted by Zack Handlen
Back when I did Wow, my Garrosh Ahead Of The Curve
February 16, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Back when I did Wow, my Garrosh Ahead Of The Curve
Reposted by Zack Handlen
Going to be a deep take here but getting the black pearl in Hexic.
February 16, 2026 at 2:53 AM
Going to be a deep take here but getting the black pearl in Hexic.
Reposted by Zack Handlen
In GTA IV, while doing about 30 mph, successfully throwing an en passant Molotov cocktail through the open window of a cop car, which subsequently exploded
with the understanding that it’s all a bit silly and that’s okay, what’s your proudest video game accomplishment?
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
February 16, 2026 at 2:49 AM
In GTA IV, while doing about 30 mph, successfully throwing an en passant Molotov cocktail through the open window of a cop car, which subsequently exploded
Reposted by Zack Handlen
beating the undead campaign in Warcraft 3 on hard. that last mission is fucking hard on hard.
February 16, 2026 at 2:48 AM
beating the undead campaign in Warcraft 3 on hard. that last mission is fucking hard on hard.
Reposted by Zack Handlen
Beating Manus in DARK SOULS on my first try (especially because I'm really not that good at FromSoft games). And getting through the first four WIZARDRY games and first two MIGHT & MAGIC games.
February 16, 2026 at 2:50 AM
Beating Manus in DARK SOULS on my first try (especially because I'm really not that good at FromSoft games). And getting through the first four WIZARDRY games and first two MIGHT & MAGIC games.
with the understanding that it’s all a bit silly and that’s okay, what’s your proudest video game accomplishment?
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
February 16, 2026 at 2:42 AM
with the understanding that it’s all a bit silly and that’s okay, what’s your proudest video game accomplishment?
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
for me, I think it’s doing everything in Bloodborne. It’s the only game I ever intentionally got all the trophies in; I just wanted to get every last bit out of it.
how much Smart Pop do you think Jennifer Aniston has actually eaten? like, has she even tasted it or
February 16, 2026 at 1:55 AM
how much Smart Pop do you think Jennifer Aniston has actually eaten? like, has she even tasted it or
I keep going to bed earlier. It’s 8:30 here and I’m tucked in watching tv, and somehow I’m not 90 years old.
February 16, 2026 at 1:36 AM
I keep going to bed earlier. It’s 8:30 here and I’m tucked in watching tv, and somehow I’m not 90 years old.
Watching Carnival Magic, one of those classic MST3K movies where nothing awful happens on screen but the whole thing has such a thick, uncomfortable glaze of sleeze that you wonder how many people died during filming.
February 16, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Watching Carnival Magic, one of those classic MST3K movies where nothing awful happens on screen but the whole thing has such a thick, uncomfortable glaze of sleeze that you wonder how many people died during filming.
I read this book -so many times-. So much joy from just reading strategies about games I never actually played.
Let's start a club, guys!
February 16, 2026 at 12:50 AM
I read this book -so many times-. So much joy from just reading strategies about games I never actually played.