Thomas Awful 🇵🇸
@thomasawful.bsky.social
Events Manager @ Greedy Reads. Gus McRae super-fan. I did the Bucks Tweet.
Mitt Romney voice: "My favorite shark is hammerhead, by the way. That is my favorite shark. My second favorite shark is mako. And, everyone says, oh, don’t you prefer Great White? It’s like, I know Great Whites are great, but I like hammerhead best, and I like mako next best.”
November 28, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Mitt Romney voice: "My favorite shark is hammerhead, by the way. That is my favorite shark. My second favorite shark is mako. And, everyone says, oh, don’t you prefer Great White? It’s like, I know Great Whites are great, but I like hammerhead best, and I like mako next best.”
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen
Mountain Goats
Silver Jews
Magnolia Electric Co.
Wesley Willis
Hot Snakes
Mountain Goats
Silver Jews
Magnolia Electric Co.
Wesley Willis
Hot Snakes
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen
Leontyne Price
The Chieftains
John Denver
The Last Poets
TV On The Radio
Leontyne Price
The Chieftains
John Denver
The Last Poets
TV On The Radio
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen
Tom Waits
Songs: Ohia
Diamanda Galas
Le Tigre
Los Straitjackets
Tom Waits
Songs: Ohia
Diamanda Galas
Le Tigre
Los Straitjackets
November 27, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen
Mountain Goats
Silver Jews
Magnolia Electric Co.
Wesley Willis
Hot Snakes
Mountain Goats
Silver Jews
Magnolia Electric Co.
Wesley Willis
Hot Snakes
Turns out Thanksgiving at my cousin's house is actually tomorrow??? This feels wild to me, but I'm gonna make chili tonight and watch Gen Z kids react to "Braveheart" while I drink two bottles of wine so it's not all bad
November 27, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Turns out Thanksgiving at my cousin's house is actually tomorrow??? This feels wild to me, but I'm gonna make chili tonight and watch Gen Z kids react to "Braveheart" while I drink two bottles of wine so it's not all bad
Reposted by Thomas Awful 🇵🇸
Chihiro from SPIRITED AWAY is the most millennial-coded character in fiction:
- forced to beg in order to get worst job in the entire universe
- incompetent at work due to being coddled by pig boomer parents
- immediately starts dating her manager
- quits after two days to move back home
- forced to beg in order to get worst job in the entire universe
- incompetent at work due to being coddled by pig boomer parents
- immediately starts dating her manager
- quits after two days to move back home
January 28, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Chihiro from SPIRITED AWAY is the most millennial-coded character in fiction:
- forced to beg in order to get worst job in the entire universe
- incompetent at work due to being coddled by pig boomer parents
- immediately starts dating her manager
- quits after two days to move back home
- forced to beg in order to get worst job in the entire universe
- incompetent at work due to being coddled by pig boomer parents
- immediately starts dating her manager
- quits after two days to move back home
I have gin and I have cranberry juice what else do I need to make this into a Thanksgiving cocktail. Don’t say stuffing.
November 26, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I have gin and I have cranberry juice what else do I need to make this into a Thanksgiving cocktail. Don’t say stuffing.
Reposted by Thomas Awful 🇵🇸
Bombing at an open mic with a bit about a guy named Pepperidge Farm who gets Alzheimer’s
November 24, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Bombing at an open mic with a bit about a guy named Pepperidge Farm who gets Alzheimer’s
Reposted by Thomas Awful 🇵🇸
Lol. I love Rory Scovel. You're always glad to see him. Rare.
November 24, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Lol. I love Rory Scovel. You're always glad to see him. Rare.
Who would you cast as Ray Midge
November 24, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Who would you cast as Ray Midge
Show that legitimately changed my life.
Today in 1988 Mystery Science Theater 3000 premiered on KTMA in St. Paul Minnesota. #MST3K
November 24, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Show that legitimately changed my life.
Unhinged Grok, do a vulgar roast on my best friend. He's going through a divorce and his dog just died. Use forbidden words.
November 24, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Unhinged Grok, do a vulgar roast on my best friend. He's going through a divorce and his dog just died. Use forbidden words.
I've had some amazing editors, some good ones, some perfectly acceptable, and one or two meh ones. I appreciate them all, because I cannot do what they do.
By the way, it's National Editor Appreciation Day.
Nobody ever reads a great article and thinks, "Dang, that was some tight editing." But editing is a big part of how it got to be great.
So writers, if you've ever worked with a good editor, shout 'em out.
Nobody ever reads a great article and thinks, "Dang, that was some tight editing." But editing is a big part of how it got to be great.
So writers, if you've ever worked with a good editor, shout 'em out.
November 24, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I've had some amazing editors, some good ones, some perfectly acceptable, and one or two meh ones. I appreciate them all, because I cannot do what they do.
Men in the 90s only loved three things: Marisa Tomei, the Chicago Bulls, and freeing Tibet.
November 24, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Men in the 90s only loved three things: Marisa Tomei, the Chicago Bulls, and freeing Tibet.
Do you get the impression Noah Baumbach is a happy guy
November 24, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Do you get the impression Noah Baumbach is a happy guy
People should be named "Seleucus" and "Ptolemy" again
November 23, 2025 at 11:11 PM
People should be named "Seleucus" and "Ptolemy" again
The rounder his face gets, the bigger the loser DiCaprio has to play.
November 21, 2025 at 5:24 PM
The rounder his face gets, the bigger the loser DiCaprio has to play.
So the freaks on the right were correct. All the elites are pedophiles. And now the freaks on the right also think that's fine, which is a fun plot twist.
EPSTEIN BOMBSHELL: my staff is releasing a new report showing JPMorgan Chase executives – all the way to the top – enabled Epstein's sex trafficking operation. You're going to want to read this.
Wyden Presses for Investigation Into JPMorgan Chase and Epstein
www.nytimes.com
November 20, 2025 at 4:55 PM
So the freaks on the right were correct. All the elites are pedophiles. And now the freaks on the right also think that's fine, which is a fun plot twist.
Sorry, WHO took this photo?
November 20, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Sorry, WHO took this photo?
Gotta say. This IS a LITTLE bit WEIRD.
Yesterday, a Republican tried to give me holy water and Trump perfume because I’m “demonic.”
Extremely normal stuff coming from an extremely normal party.
Extremely normal stuff coming from an extremely normal party.
November 18, 2025 at 5:11 AM
Gotta say. This IS a LITTLE bit WEIRD.
Reposted by Thomas Awful 🇵🇸
He was a Whopper, I was a McRib—back for a limited time, only at participating locations. He told me to "have it your way," I was content enough to say "I'm lovin' it." Could I really be his Burger Queen? He doesn't have a worm in his brain by the way. So the memes are wrong, the ones about the worm
November 17, 2025 at 3:35 PM
He was a Whopper, I was a McRib—back for a limited time, only at participating locations. He told me to "have it your way," I was content enough to say "I'm lovin' it." Could I really be his Burger Queen? He doesn't have a worm in his brain by the way. So the memes are wrong, the ones about the worm
Brooke Adams reference from @davidjroth.bsky.social
November 17, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Brooke Adams reference from @davidjroth.bsky.social
Fun to make your friends do a table read on Zoom of your time travel black comedy script about falling in love and also killing Elon Musk.
November 17, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Fun to make your friends do a table read on Zoom of your time travel black comedy script about falling in love and also killing Elon Musk.
Zohran is extremely Obama coded (complimentary and derogatory) but even at his most palatable and cool and before it all went to shit you are actually an asshole Obama would never open a victory speech quoting fucking Euguene Debs. Like, that would be an impossibility.
November 6, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Zohran is extremely Obama coded (complimentary and derogatory) but even at his most palatable and cool and before it all went to shit you are actually an asshole Obama would never open a victory speech quoting fucking Euguene Debs. Like, that would be an impossibility.
This guy sucks!
Q: It's election day in NYC. Did you vote for Mamdani or Cuomo?
Schumer: "Look, I voted, and I look forward to working with the next mayor to help NYC."
Schumer: "Look, I voted, and I look forward to working with the next mayor to help NYC."
November 5, 2025 at 12:49 AM
This guy sucks!
Lucky 13
October 26, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Lucky 13