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The Mall Krampus

@themallkrampus.bsky.social

1.5K followers 430 following 12K posts

Excel Jockey and Aspiring Quirky Suburban Dad. GrillCath Supremacist. Mostly here for well-read snark & football. RT = Regrettable Tumescence, Likes = Stochastic RTs for someone else.

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 6h

Rewatched the tape of MNF and my main impression is that every Williams/Daniels matchup for the rest of their careers is going to be just the drunkest imaginable game

Reposted by The Mall Krampus

Corky Kneivel @corkykneivel.bsky.social · 9h

the Kubiak family crest is just this play

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 9h

Very unsporting of them tbh

The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 9h

As an aside, I do think it’s hilarious that “La Grange” and this song are about the same place youtu.be/Ad2-FiCzJxc?...

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) - A Lil' Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place Scene (2/10)

YouTube video by Movieclips

youtu.be

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 12h

Saving this one as it will invariably become useful again

The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 12h

If you want to go crazy add an allium and a dry green herb of some kind

The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 12h

It’s unfortunate sodium, dietary fat, and cholesterol health scares during the Cold War enabled a ton of diseased discourse about the use of spices because as much as I enjoy the use of the latter the best food on earth is also just roast chicken with a shitload of salt & some sort of acidic sauce

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 13h

Tbf this is basically the meta experience with using this site at all

The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 13h

One presumes an Em Em Tee lay cultist

The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 13h

Lol. Lmao.

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

We’ve developed an entire shadow language to try to articulate “It is capital-U Unfair that I, personally am not Rich” and I think that’s beautiful.

In the same way a burning apartment building is beautiful, but still.

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

I do enjoy that every “Paycheck to Paycheck as defined by a payday lending company” discourse thread ultimately becomes a Long Covid Maximalist thread

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

Big Blue’s buyers for Sam’s also

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

Also a common Costco Buyer Team W

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Reposted by The Mall Krampus

Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 14h

impossibly funny that Mike Lombardi is producing sleek inspo TikTok content about using a typewriter (and promoting his book!) while the team is in shambles

Lindsay Gibbs @lindsaygibbs.bsky.social · 15h

The metaphors have become sentient www.tiktok.com/t/ZTMy3RDpW/

Why I still use my typewriters every day (If anyone’s selling their typewriter let me know!) #uncfootball #football #typewriter #lombardi #checklist

TikTok video by Michael Lombardi

www.tiktok.com

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

We Stan a Joker who does their research

The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

Srry.

Although your bit specifically is at least the least implausible since our Attempted Rogan But Leftistly is much more likely to select veg protein products than regular Bob Meathead

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

Bulk buying cheap peas from problematic fields that have historical industrial byproduct exposure plus assuredly-suboptimal processing protocols equals Huel, apparently

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

I’d recommend reading the CR piece instead of just the hed, and then ask yourself a couple of questions from that graphic at the bottom before assuming one’s political enemies are mainlining heavy metals, folks

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

Not particularly. The real problem ones are vegan proteins (pea protein especially) for reasons that are relatively predictable if you’re familiar with legumes.

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 14h

Big day for the ON Gold Standard Gang. Being aggressively basic has once again served us well.

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 15h

This website reading the headline but not the actual article? Surely not.

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The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 15h

Legumes gonna legume

The Mall Krampus @themallkrampus.bsky.social · 15h

Not trying to look up any statues of limitations on a Tuesday lunch period, dudes

Reposted by The Mall Krampus

Ryan Moulton @moultano.bsky.social · 15h

"We gave this up for a higher GDP"
No, you gave it up to scroll your phone in bed. GFTO

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