Kristen
@thehemicane.bsky.social
I read and I write things.
Cat appreciator. Whisky drinker. Disney parks goer. Can I borrow your pen?
Cat appreciator. Whisky drinker. Disney parks goer. Can I borrow your pen?
I had a joke about Gregor Samsa, but it bugged me too much
I thought I had 3 jokes about Cerberus, but I was getting ahead (and ahead and ahead) of myself.
I had a joke about Icarus but I couldn't get the punchline to land
December 8, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I had a joke about Gregor Samsa, but it bugged me too much
I couldn’t resist. It was too cute
December 7, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I couldn’t resist. It was too cute
Surprised by snow this morning but I went out anyway
December 6, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Surprised by snow this morning but I went out anyway
listen I love you joy is coming
Which lines of poetry live rent-free in your head?
December 6, 2025 at 2:35 AM
listen I love you joy is coming
3/4 of the way through this and I had to take a break for a sec. The trajectory of unresolved, inherited trauma. Superb, but upsetting
December 6, 2025 at 12:09 AM
3/4 of the way through this and I had to take a break for a sec. The trajectory of unresolved, inherited trauma. Superb, but upsetting
Walking around the corner and I see shenanigans are afoot
December 5, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Walking around the corner and I see shenanigans are afoot
I haven’t opened the two Trader Joe’s mystery packs of bags yet (unsurprising) but I’ve become obsessed with the Philly one and have a burning NEED
December 5, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I haven’t opened the two Trader Joe’s mystery packs of bags yet (unsurprising) but I’ve become obsessed with the Philly one and have a burning NEED
Reposted by Kristen
December 5, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Sun is shining but it’s 8°
a close up of a polar bear 's face with netflix written on the bottom
Alt: a close up of a polar bear 's face looking displeased
media.tenor.com
December 5, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Sun is shining but it’s 8°
Reposted by Kristen
Finished off a bag of grapes before they fermented. Taking those wins where I can
December 4, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Finished off a bag of grapes before they fermented. Taking those wins where I can
I still have one of The Cure songs from my skater bf of two weeks in tenth grade. Hand-lettered & illustrated. What a nostalgic treasure
I know I'm showing my whole age here but remember that thrill of getting a mixtape from someone? A mix of music that they made just for you?
December 4, 2025 at 1:09 PM
I still have one of The Cure songs from my skater bf of two weeks in tenth grade. Hand-lettered & illustrated. What a nostalgic treasure
Reposted by Kristen
Its easy to say "the best Christmas song is the one where Springsteen yells numbers at the audience" but the true honour goes to Tom Waits doing "Silent Night" as a bit before launching into his own Christmas classic, where the audience laughs nervously at the "Charlie I'm pregnant" line
Tom Waits - "Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis" (Live at Austin City Limits, 1978)
YouTube video by Tom Waits
youtu.be
December 4, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Its easy to say "the best Christmas song is the one where Springsteen yells numbers at the audience" but the true honour goes to Tom Waits doing "Silent Night" as a bit before launching into his own Christmas classic, where the audience laughs nervously at the "Charlie I'm pregnant" line
Sky looking like someone got into the sidewalk chalk
December 3, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Sky looking like someone got into the sidewalk chalk
Had to dig out the narwhal
December 3, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Had to dig out the narwhal
The haunted beach ball has moved on (probably to Aruba) bc the snow hath arrived
December 2, 2025 at 6:57 PM
The haunted beach ball has moved on (probably to Aruba) bc the snow hath arrived
Reposted by Kristen
Hello! Today is the publication day of my new book, A Long Game: Notes on Writing Fiction.
To celebrate, I have already received an email from a fake book club, offering to feature it in their Saturday Showcase.
(You can order it here: bookshop.org/p/books/a-lo...)
To celebrate, I have already received an email from a fake book club, offering to feature it in their Saturday Showcase.
(You can order it here: bookshop.org/p/books/a-lo...)
A Long Game: Notes on Writing Fiction
Notes on Writing Fiction
bookshop.org
December 2, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Hello! Today is the publication day of my new book, A Long Game: Notes on Writing Fiction.
To celebrate, I have already received an email from a fake book club, offering to feature it in their Saturday Showcase.
(You can order it here: bookshop.org/p/books/a-lo...)
To celebrate, I have already received an email from a fake book club, offering to feature it in their Saturday Showcase.
(You can order it here: bookshop.org/p/books/a-lo...)
Reposted by Kristen
Dutch Wonderland says “We have Disney World at home” with its full chest
December 2, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Dutch Wonderland says “We have Disney World at home” with its full chest
We’d all scream to go to Hershey Park and our parents said you’ll get Dutch Wonderland and that’s that! They had the jankiest monorail ever but I did love it
December 2, 2025 at 1:34 PM
We’d all scream to go to Hershey Park and our parents said you’ll get Dutch Wonderland and that’s that! They had the jankiest monorail ever but I did love it
It’s December and the leaf blower brigade is still out en force
(I’m prob going to regret this post when the snow drops)
(I’m prob going to regret this post when the snow drops)
December 1, 2025 at 4:32 PM
It’s December and the leaf blower brigade is still out en force
(I’m prob going to regret this post when the snow drops)
(I’m prob going to regret this post when the snow drops)
I had my little list of tasks I wanted to do over the holiday weekend and I chose to indulge in books and music instead
a close up of yoda from star wars with the words `` incredibly proud , i am '' written below him .
Alt: a close up of yoda from star wars with the words `` incredibly proud , i am '' written below him.
media.tenor.com
December 1, 2025 at 2:10 PM
I had my little list of tasks I wanted to do over the holiday weekend and I chose to indulge in books and music instead
Record haul. A little used, a little new
November 30, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Record haul. A little used, a little new
Today was for the books
November 29, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Today was for the books
Drank too much coffee which I counter- balanced by having an ice-cold Miller High Life (glass bottle). Standing in the street, a snow squall hit. I spilled soup on my sweater. Still, a fine day
November 28, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Drank too much coffee which I counter- balanced by having an ice-cold Miller High Life (glass bottle). Standing in the street, a snow squall hit. I spilled soup on my sweater. Still, a fine day