Author | Lightnews

Startled Jesus

@startled.bsky.social

120 followers 110 following 3.9K posts

UK. Old enough to know better. That's me in the corner, crushed by the wheels of industry, but dancing the night away. We/Willie/Winkie.

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MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · Aug 15

Trump left that meeting looking like Putin just showed him photos of him from the Epstein Files

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Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 25

White House responds to South Park latest episode. 😂

“White House spokesperson Taylor Rogers said “President Trump has delivered on more promises in just six months than any other president in our country’s history – and no fourth-rate show can derail President Trump’s hot streak.”

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Is he the voice of The Mysterons?

Has he bought a proven goal scorer yet?

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

A face scan or details of a credit card, Bluesky?

I think not. My word is my bond.

Que sera, sera.

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Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

You can run, Trump, but you can’t hide. #Epstein

No doubt he shot a round of 59.

Unofficial BBCNews (UK) Bot @bbcnews-uk-rss.bsky.social · Jul 24

Trump takes a break from world affairs to tee-up his Scottish golf courses

His private visit is exceptional as US presidents rarely promote their personal interests so publicly while in office.

www.bbc.com

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Looks more like Julian Clary…

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

‘I’m not an age, Bluesky, I’m a free man!’

#Beseeingyou

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Do they still drink it in the Congo, or is that now cultural appropriation?

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

‘Woof wa woof woof wa woof woof aaah!’

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Or ‘Mr Soft’ from the Chewy mint ad.

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Or Katie from the TRIO! ad.

#tooloudman

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Pining for the fjords?

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

I’ve just listened to Angry Anderson again. What a wedding.

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

I’m still ‘doing the do’, though.

Hello Alison.

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Have you tried ‘BOGIES!’ ?

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Is Scanny an alien?
Is that a quote from a Climie Fisher track?
I preferred SWALK on my envelopes.

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

I’ve just proved my adulthood by telling Bluesky about dealy boppers and clackers.

I’ve still got the bruises.

Weren’t #KWS a boy band?

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

Was it green, or one of those supposed collectors items?

I’ve still got £2 left on mine. 😡

Reposted by Startled Jesus

Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · Jul 24

Trump is reported to want to sue over South Park saying he has a tiny penis.

That would be funny for two reasons:(1) discovery; and (2) truth is an absolute defense in defamation actions.

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Reposted by Startled Jesus

The Onion @theonion.com · Jul 24

AG Informed Trump His Name Tattooed All Over Epstein’s Body

WASHINGTON—In another dramatic twist in the ongoing scandal involving the late sex trafficker, sources confirmed this week that U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi previously informed President Donald Tru...

theonion.com

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Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 24

I’ve just verified my age for Bluesky, by telling them ‘For mash, get Smash’

J S Docherty @jsdocherty.bsky.social · Jul 24

I've just verified my age by telling someone, 'The water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughta.'

Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · Jul 24

I’ve just verified my age by asking someone ‘If you see Sid, tell him’.

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 23

A state visit from India’s Modi now? The same Modi that is a shameless Putin apologist?

These people will do anything, and ignore anything, for a trade deal.

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 23

I do live in the UK, and increasingly have no idea how things work here either.

Startled Jesus @startled.bsky.social · Jul 23

This is not creepy nor intrusive at all.

See you under the spreading chestnut tree.

Bluesky @bsky.app · Jul 23

📢 1.105 is rolling out now

The main change is only for users in the UK. Version 1.105 introduces legally-required Age Assurance for users in the United Kingdom to access certain moderation settings and DMs. Read more about this here: bsky.social/about/blog/0...

Working with the UK Government to Protect Children Online - Bluesky

Part of Bluesky’s mission to create a more open and decentralized social web is helping users feel safe and in control of their experience. We always try to balance safety with privacy, and free expression with civility.

bsky.social