you have been visited by "Le Boulanger Quebecois"
repost to receive his blessing

Mitt Romney: *steps into the oval office*

Trump: Come, Joseph Smith, friend or traitor come. Come and look upon the DOGE and Grok, and bring the gold plates, I have need of them. Come to the DOGE chamber, I wait for you there, where we last met, countless ages ago. Come to me through fire and war I

For about ten years I've thought about what a Tom Waits TV Christmas special produced in the early 80s would have been like. It's almost real to me. The set is a Depression-era shack he built and a stream of celebrity hobos keep knocking on the door and Tom goes "I wOnDEr WHo tHaT cOuLd bE"

My wife has set the smart lightbulb in the bathroom to red and dim. I now piss like I'm in a budget horror movie or The Hunt for Red October.l

Child Psychologist: It is not normal for a seven year old's favourite show to be Taxi and MASH.

My Mother (breaking down in tears): Can he... can he ever be normal?

Child Psychologist: No, he's going to be weird and offputting

The best part about starter packs is looking through all the random dirtbag leftist accounts wondering if I used to lurk them on Twitter. "Hmm 'magilla guerilla' with a photoshopped avatar of Kevin Federline...nope doesn't ring a bell."

I'm starting to get the sinking feeling that the only way to be truly happy as a human is to craft an online jokester persona and have several hundred people validate that constantly.

"I'm tired of Earth, these people. I'm tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives."

-James Baldwin