Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 6h

My unpopular opinion is that I have to suppress my gag reflex at the mere sight of Uncrustables, so whoever is ultimately responsible for this abomination should stand trial at The Hague.

CBS News @cbsnews.com · 6h

The J.M. Smucker Company, the brand that makes peanut butter and jelly spreads, is suing Trader Joe's over what it says is a copycat version of its Uncrustables sandwiches.

Smucker's sues Trader Joe's over product its says mimics Uncrustables

The lawsuit accuses Trader Joe's of selling a product that closely mimics the company's Uncrustables both in its packaging and sandwich design.

cbsn.ws

Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 9h

“Grandpa, what did you do in the Great Uprising?”

The old man grew silent. All eye in the room turned to him.

“I served in the Battle of Choking Chickens,” he simply said.

Brad Heath @bradheath.bsky.social · 10h

On September 28, soldiers from West Virginia patrolling D.C.'s Navy Yard area observed a man masturbating in public.

The soldiers "advised [him] to stop."

Police officers arrested him a little while later after they said they saw him peeing in front of a restaurant.

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 11h

HE'S TRYING TO TAKE A PICKAXE THROUGH SECURITY! SOURDOUGH SAM IS A GODDAMN MENACE! www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLPY...

SFO Security Checkpoint Video

YouTube video by San Francisco International Airport

www.youtube.com

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 11h

I hope that SFO is still showing the video where various Bay Area sports mascots attempt to go through security and Sourdough Sam makes a hash of it. (I have always mistrusted Sourdough Sam.)

Grant Marek @grantmarek.bsky.social · 11h

Last week, Department of Homeland Security Sec. Kristi Noem released a video that blames Democrats for slower airport travel times. Many airports are refusing to air the public service announcement, including all major airports in the Bay Area.

via @sfgate.com
www.sfgate.com/travel/artic...

No, SFO is not playing politically charged shutdown video about TSA

Several airports across the U.S. are refusing to play the PSA from Kristi Noem.

www.sfgate.com

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12h

Every living Seattle Pilot.

Claire @baseball-broad.bsky.social · 12h

Mariners fans, who (doesn’t have to be realistic lol) would you like to see throw out a first pitch this week?

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 20h

The theme song was composed when the premise behind the show was more "Thomas Magnum, Gentleman Detective" and not what the show actually became. www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmCd...

Theme from Magnum - Ian Freebairn-Smith

YouTube video by TV1966

www.youtube.com

Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 20h

Ian Freebairn-Smith composed many, many things, of course, but among us Magnum-heads, he's the guy who wrote the original theme song for Magnum PI before it got replaced by the one everyone recognizes.

ktla.com/news/grammy-...

ktla.com

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Reposted by Philip Michaels

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 1d

“What a lot of people don’t know, before you eat a turkey, you have to cook it.”

John Smoltz and Joe Davis carving a turkey

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 1d

One day, an announcer will have the courage to say, “Oh no, he just Mr. Belvedere’d himself” and a good portion of the viewing audience will nod in understanding.

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 1d

Fox’s lead analysts for football and baseball are Tom Brady and John Smoltz, respectively, in case you needed more proof of the network’s contempt for its audience.

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 1d

Eddie’s kid brother

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 1d

“Ok, let’s see what these scouting reports say… Cecil Cooper, Gorman Thomas, Sixto Lez… good lord, these are horribly out of date.”

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 1d

This gimmick sucks. Brewers are awesome; dodgers know them; let’s not be dumb

Brewers manager Pat Murphy: ‘I'm sure that most Dodger players can't name eight guys on our roster. No offense to them, they shouldn't have to know the names, but these are some guys that hopefully they know their names by the time it's over. You never know.’

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 1d

Plot hazy, rewrite again

Bleeding Cool @bleedingcool.com · 1d

Director M. Night Shyamalan, writer Brad Falchuk, and producer Mattel are collaborating on an upcoming series based around the popular Magic 8 Ball. / #Magic8Ball

Director M. Night Shyamalan, writer Brad Falchuk, and producer Mattel are collaborating on a series based around the Magic 8 Ball.

dlvr.it

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Reposted by Philip Michaels

mpete91 @mpete91.bsky.social · 1d

Going to try and cross-shitpost.

After a bye week break, welcome back

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I spent minutes of research this morning looking up helpful information about our next football foe, the University of Chapel Hill in Carolina! Please help spread the word so that we are all well educated!

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

Good to see Iron Mike Sharpe again.

Caitlin @hellocaitlin.bsky.social · 2d

This guy is fucking killing me lol

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

<wearily> But this is my most tasteful butt plug shirt…

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

Scruffy’s just looking for the terlet.

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

We believed you the first time, mate. sfstandard.com/2025/10/12/b...

Benioff backtracks comments about welcoming National Guard in SF

But it wasn’t until he already started a firestorm.

sfstandard.com

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

I, for one, agree with the president.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 2d

Trump: "I don't think there's anything that's gonna get me in heaven. I think I'm not maybe heaven bound. I may be in heaven right now as we fly on Air Force One. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to make heaven."

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

He just needs time to implement his system.

Chris Vannini @chrisvannini.com · 2d

SOURCE: UAB has fired head coach Trent Dilfer, @theathletic.com has learned.

UAB is 2-4 this year. Dilfer went 9-21 in three seasons.

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

England to America: Please stop sending us Woody Johnson or Woody Johnson-adjacent offerings.

Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 2d

the Jets finish the day with -10 passing yards, the fewest in a game since 1998. (Although the Giants had -9 passing yards against the Jets in 2023!)

stathead.com/tiny/raGwF

Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 2d

Gonna tell my grandkids this was Daft Punk.

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 2d

Andrew Vaughn has Resting Locked-In Face

Brewers Andrew Vaughn and Jacob Misiorowski

Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 3d

Brewers/Dodgers in the Greg Brock Derby
Mariners/Blue Jays in the 1977 Expansion Classique

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 3d

Footage of Ned Yost, about to manage the Brewers in a playoff series

a man in a suit and tie is standing in a doorway in a wood paneled room .

Alt: Joe Pesci gets whacked in goodfellas

media.tenor.com

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 3d

Presumably in this metaphor, Ned Yost is Tommy.

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