My mum bought me a bird of paradise plant because she thought it was pretty and the arseholes have put a fake flower in the plant. Apparently they don’t actually flower for 5-10 years. I’m not going to tell her or she’ll be a bit sad but now I’m sad that she thinks she bought one with a real flower.
November 13, 2025 at 9:50 PM
My mum bought me a bird of paradise plant because she thought it was pretty and the arseholes have put a fake flower in the plant. Apparently they don’t actually flower for 5-10 years. I’m not going to tell her or she’ll be a bit sad but now I’m sad that she thinks she bought one with a real flower.
So I’ve officially bought a house. And I move in on the 10th of October.
Let the adulting commence!
Let the adulting commence!
September 19, 2025 at 7:59 PM
So I’ve officially bought a house. And I move in on the 10th of October.
Let the adulting commence!
Let the adulting commence!
*A few hours later*
Edd: I wonder how long that spider’s been there? I don’t remember hearing it knock on the door.
Edd: I wonder how long that spider’s been there? I don’t remember hearing it knock on the door.
Me: Darling, can you get rid of the spider in the bathroom for me?
Edd: Okay. *enters bathroom, short pause*
Edd: FUCK THAT. It’s enormous. That’s the spider’s bathroom now. Where’s my deodorant?
Me: In the bathroom.
Edd: I’ll buy some more after I move house.
Edd: Okay. *enters bathroom, short pause*
Edd: FUCK THAT. It’s enormous. That’s the spider’s bathroom now. Where’s my deodorant?
Me: In the bathroom.
Edd: I’ll buy some more after I move house.
September 14, 2025 at 4:15 PM
*A few hours later*
Edd: I wonder how long that spider’s been there? I don’t remember hearing it knock on the door.
Edd: I wonder how long that spider’s been there? I don’t remember hearing it knock on the door.
Me: Darling, can you get rid of the spider in the bathroom for me?
Edd: Okay. *enters bathroom, short pause*
Edd: FUCK THAT. It’s enormous. That’s the spider’s bathroom now. Where’s my deodorant?
Me: In the bathroom.
Edd: I’ll buy some more after I move house.
Edd: Okay. *enters bathroom, short pause*
Edd: FUCK THAT. It’s enormous. That’s the spider’s bathroom now. Where’s my deodorant?
Me: In the bathroom.
Edd: I’ll buy some more after I move house.
September 14, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Me: Darling, can you get rid of the spider in the bathroom for me?
Edd: Okay. *enters bathroom, short pause*
Edd: FUCK THAT. It’s enormous. That’s the spider’s bathroom now. Where’s my deodorant?
Me: In the bathroom.
Edd: I’ll buy some more after I move house.
Edd: Okay. *enters bathroom, short pause*
Edd: FUCK THAT. It’s enormous. That’s the spider’s bathroom now. Where’s my deodorant?
Me: In the bathroom.
Edd: I’ll buy some more after I move house.
I got some colossal good news today and I’m not used to the universe providing me with good news so excuse me if I act slightly more unhinged than usual for a little while.
a close up of a man 's face with a smile on his face
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with a smile on his face
media.tenor.com
July 9, 2025 at 5:44 PM
I got some colossal good news today and I’m not used to the universe providing me with good news so excuse me if I act slightly more unhinged than usual for a little while.
Just had a panic attack while doing a lancet blood sugar test (yes I’m aware it’s daft but I have a good reason) and couldn’t get enough blood on the testing strip, and instead of saying “never mind, try again tomorrow” my dad started shouting at me and calling me a snowflake. 🙃
July 2, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Just had a panic attack while doing a lancet blood sugar test (yes I’m aware it’s daft but I have a good reason) and couldn’t get enough blood on the testing strip, and instead of saying “never mind, try again tomorrow” my dad started shouting at me and calling me a snowflake. 🙃
My neighbours have put up a wind chime. In Scotland. In summer. When everyone needs to have their windows open because AC isn’t a thing here and it’s hotter and more humid than Satan’s armpit.
a man with a mustache wearing a maroon shirt looks at the camera
ALT: a man with a mustache wearing a maroon shirt looks at the camera
media.tenor.com
June 22, 2025 at 9:19 PM
My neighbours have put up a wind chime. In Scotland. In summer. When everyone needs to have their windows open because AC isn’t a thing here and it’s hotter and more humid than Satan’s armpit.
Reposted by Philippa
Rare Non-Shit Thing Klaxon
MPs vote to decriminalise abortion in historic vote
MPs vote to decriminalise abortion in historic vote
MPs have voted to decriminalise abortion in England and Wales so that women cannot be prosecuted for terminating their pregnancy at any stage.
news.sky.com
June 17, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Rare Non-Shit Thing Klaxon
Me: I’m determined that today will be a good day.
*less than an hour later*
Woman: Congratulations!
Me: ??
Woman: Oh! I thought you were pregnant. I’m so sorry.
Not pregnant. Just fat. 🙃
*less than an hour later*
Woman: Congratulations!
Me: ??
Woman: Oh! I thought you were pregnant. I’m so sorry.
Not pregnant. Just fat. 🙃
June 18, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Me: I’m determined that today will be a good day.
*less than an hour later*
Woman: Congratulations!
Me: ??
Woman: Oh! I thought you were pregnant. I’m so sorry.
Not pregnant. Just fat. 🙃
*less than an hour later*
Woman: Congratulations!
Me: ??
Woman: Oh! I thought you were pregnant. I’m so sorry.
Not pregnant. Just fat. 🙃
No new Funny-Hat-Wearer-In Chief yet then
May 7, 2025 at 7:06 PM
No new Funny-Hat-Wearer-In Chief yet then
Reposted by Philippa
We just went to Chiquitos for lunch and ordered mild burritos. I’ve been calling him a wimp the whole meal cos he’s been sweating and crying and it turns out the waitress got his wrong and made it hot 🤣 She took it off the bill and brought him milk and a free Coke and she feels awful but I’m howling
May 3, 2025 at 4:07 PM
We just went to Chiquitos for lunch and ordered mild burritos. I’ve been calling him a wimp the whole meal cos he’s been sweating and crying and it turns out the waitress got his wrong and made it hot 🤣 She took it off the bill and brought him milk and a free Coke and she feels awful but I’m howling
My adorable bf has bought an extra PS5 controller and customised it for me (Leeloo from The Fifth Element) so we can play games together. 🥰🥹🎮
May 1, 2025 at 7:38 PM
My adorable bf has bought an extra PS5 controller and customised it for me (Leeloo from The Fifth Element) so we can play games together. 🥰🥹🎮
Started watching The Handmaid’s Tale yesterday. Not entirely sure it was the best idea considering the current political climate. It’s making me exceptionally nervous.
April 24, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Started watching The Handmaid’s Tale yesterday. Not entirely sure it was the best idea considering the current political climate. It’s making me exceptionally nervous.
Reposted by Philippa
I would like for stupid people to stop making important decisions that affect my life
April 24, 2025 at 4:03 AM
I would like for stupid people to stop making important decisions that affect my life
My Apple Watch told me I was a fat bastard yesterday (I’m paraphrasing somewhat) so I’m eating chicken salad for dinner for the second day in a row.
April 9, 2025 at 6:32 PM
My Apple Watch told me I was a fat bastard yesterday (I’m paraphrasing somewhat) so I’m eating chicken salad for dinner for the second day in a row.
Reposted by Philippa
you know things are going well when they break out the turnip photos
April 7, 2025 at 4:19 PM
you know things are going well when they break out the turnip photos
We got McDonalds today. Instead of ordering fries he got a *salad*. A salad, you guys. What alternate reality have I fallen into?
My boyfriend picked up a banana and started peeling it and I nearly died of shock, but he sprinkled sugar on it before he ate it, so business as usual, folks.
April 6, 2025 at 10:04 PM
We got McDonalds today. Instead of ordering fries he got a *salad*. A salad, you guys. What alternate reality have I fallen into?
My boyfriend picked up a banana and started peeling it and I nearly died of shock, but he sprinkled sugar on it before he ate it, so business as usual, folks.
April 4, 2025 at 8:19 PM
My boyfriend picked up a banana and started peeling it and I nearly died of shock, but he sprinkled sugar on it before he ate it, so business as usual, folks.
Does anyone wake up in the morning actually feeling refreshed and ready for the day? If so, share your secrets.
March 31, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Does anyone wake up in the morning actually feeling refreshed and ready for the day? If so, share your secrets.
Just found out that a friend I haven’t seen or spoken to for a while but have known for many years died yesterday. 💔
March 25, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Just found out that a friend I haven’t seen or spoken to for a while but have known for many years died yesterday. 💔
Reposted by Philippa
none of the George Foreman obituaries have had the gumption to end with ‘he is survived by his sons, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, and George Foreman’
March 22, 2025 at 10:58 AM
none of the George Foreman obituaries have had the gumption to end with ‘he is survived by his sons, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, and George Foreman’
The scene in the first Harry Potter film in McGonagall’s classroom (where she transforms from cat to human) was filmed in Durham Cathedral.
I visited that exact room last year, and whilst taking photos I accidentally dropped my phone on a large and possibly old table and it made a bit of a bang.
I visited that exact room last year, and whilst taking photos I accidentally dropped my phone on a large and possibly old table and it made a bit of a bang.
March 21, 2025 at 9:00 PM
The scene in the first Harry Potter film in McGonagall’s classroom (where she transforms from cat to human) was filmed in Durham Cathedral.
I visited that exact room last year, and whilst taking photos I accidentally dropped my phone on a large and possibly old table and it made a bit of a bang.
I visited that exact room last year, and whilst taking photos I accidentally dropped my phone on a large and possibly old table and it made a bit of a bang.
I deleted my last thread. In a moment of weakness and sadness and desperation I shared something deeply personal, forgetting that I was still sharing it on the internet. And the internet finds ways of bringing things back to haunt you. So it’s gone now.
Thanks to anyone who read and/or reached out.
Thanks to anyone who read and/or reached out.
March 15, 2025 at 8:26 AM
I deleted my last thread. In a moment of weakness and sadness and desperation I shared something deeply personal, forgetting that I was still sharing it on the internet. And the internet finds ways of bringing things back to haunt you. So it’s gone now.
Thanks to anyone who read and/or reached out.
Thanks to anyone who read and/or reached out.