Author | Lightnews

Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 6m

Take that, Halliwell. #pusb

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 20h

I got one in the Bengal Delight in Holbrooks not too long ago.
The boss man is always happy to see Mr Paul.

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 1d

I wonder for how many years there was an overlap of tapes still being a common recording media and Secret Santa being a 'thing'.

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Reposted by Paul N

Tits McGee @scientits.bsky.social · 1d

The German company that makes the mechanical ladder used in the Louvre heist has used the image to advertise, with the text 'When you need to move fast'

10/10 response, no notes

Image of the mechanical ladder outside the Louvre

Text below says WENN'S MAL WIEDER SCHNELL GEHEN MUSS (When you need to move fast)

Underneath is more German text which translates as "The Böcker Agilo transports your treasures weighing up to 400kg at 42m/min - quiet as a whisper."

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 2d

All the same once they're peeled and boiled.

Reposted by Paul N

Viz Comic @vizcomic.bsky.social · 2d

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz350bs

"ONE for sorrow, two
for joy, three for a girl
and four for a boy,
99
" the
adage about magpies goes.
Well I spotted a single
magpie in my garden last
week and this morning I
woke up to find I'd shit
the bed. So maybe there
is something to these old
superstitions after all.
Gary Ireland, Tauranga

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 3d

It's ruddy ace, innit.

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Reposted by Paul N

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 4d

must have been one helluva chase

NYPD police car in front of the Eiffel Tower with a cloudy sky.

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 4d

I've sometimes wondered how many people turned off in confusion before the reveal.

Stuff sketches I'd love to see again are Alexei's A Day in the Life and the BBC as a hotbed of communism, with television centre bedecked with massive soviet-style banners of T Wogan, E Rantzen and P Daniels.

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Reposted by Paul N

Carrie Tait @carrietait.bsky.social · 5d

This photo accompanying a news story about the heist at the Louvre is perfection.

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 5d

Scala ex machina.

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 5d

"Pour moi, l'action *est* le jus."

#Louvre

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 5d

I thought a euphemism was an instrument in the brass section of an orchestra, so I've learned something too.

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Reposted by Paul N

Robin James @robinjames.bsky.social · 6d

Halloween party tonight, here’s my costume as a ChatGPT output

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 6d

I feel your pics could be the new version of this meme.

Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 6d

What a team.

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 7d

Yet another simple pleasure falls victim to the woke brigade.

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Reposted by Paul N

Chris @seismicshed.bsky.social · 8d

I'm going to put up empty snaps packets on lamposts.

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Reposted by Paul N

Peter Chilvers @peterchilvers.com · 8d

The BBC are accidentally running the subtitles to Mrs Marple over the Mercury Prize, and it’s rather wonderful. A few of lines could plausibly have been written by Jarvis.

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Reposted by Paul N

Taraaaaaaaaghhhhh! Zombies!!! @theblueststar.bsky.social · 9d

Never not funny

Six panels:
Panel one: a man is clutching his butthole shouting "OH GOD MY BUTTHOLE"
Panel two: the same man is clutching his butthole shouting "I'm in so much pain my butthooole!!!"
Panel three: the same man is clutching his butthole shouting "Please someone help me! Please help my butthole."
Panel four: a second man comes to help asking "oh goodness Mr, what can I do to help?!"
Panel five: butthole man pulls a gun and shoots the man trying to help "Tony Lazuto says hello"
Panel six: two onlookers. Man one: "incredible" Man two: "he's carries out 47 hits like this".

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 9d

You just ask for a skinny half-caff flat latte mocha wocka choca chum with extra jizz.

I'm not a coffee drinker, so that's what it all sounds like to me.

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 9d

*Die

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 10d

I had to do something online for my mum recently.
Scrolling back to 1934 takes a little while.

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Paul N @paulncov.bsky.social · 10d

Reasonably adequate.

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