Alex Simmons 🪼
@ohalexsimmons.bsky.social
Comedian | Writer
✴︎
As seen on The Late Show | Amazon | NY1 | Roku | WBAI Radio
✴︎
• Theater Kid
• Trekkie🖖🏼
• Ƒauxtographer
• Occasional Agitator
• dreamer in the City that Never Sleeps
• Jew
• Playwright
allmylinks.com/alex-r-simmons
He/him
✴︎
As seen on The Late Show | Amazon | NY1 | Roku | WBAI Radio
✴︎
• Theater Kid
• Trekkie🖖🏼
• Ƒauxtographer
• Occasional Agitator
• dreamer in the City that Never Sleeps
• Jew
• Playwright
allmylinks.com/alex-r-simmons
He/him
Umm... I gotta Google "Gay panic."
December 9, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Umm... I gotta Google "Gay panic."
Good morning, would you like to talk about our Lord and Savior Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
December 9, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Good morning, would you like to talk about our Lord and Savior Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Gonna start saying "Oy vey" once I hit my 40s.
December 9, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Gonna start saying "Oy vey" once I hit my 40s.
📸 Pentax WG-8
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
December 9, 2025 at 2:54 PM
📸 Pentax WG-8
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
I don’t wanna hear jack shit about small government from a Republican ever again. Your president is sticking his mushroom shaped dick into every private business matter he can.
David Ellison Reportedly Promised Trump ‘Sweeping Changes’ at CNN If Paramount Takes Over Warner Bros.
David Ellison Reportedly Promised Trump ‘Sweeping Changes’ at CNN If Paramount Takes Over Warner Bros.
David Ellison has reportedly told officials that he would implement "sweeping changes" at CNN should he succeed in acquiring Warner Bros..
The post David Ellison Reportedly Promised Trump ‘Sweeping Changes’ at CNN If Paramount Takes Over Warner Bros. first appeared on Mediaite.
dlvr.it
December 9, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I don’t wanna hear jack shit about small government from a Republican ever again. Your president is sticking his mushroom shaped dick into every private business matter he can.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
It’s way past time for every WH reporter to speak out to Trump’s face when he’s insulting female reporters. Is your access so critical that you’ll allow your colleagues to be abused?
December 9, 2025 at 2:06 AM
It’s way past time for every WH reporter to speak out to Trump’s face when he’s insulting female reporters. Is your access so critical that you’ll allow your colleagues to be abused?
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
I lost my job, there are no toys on the shelves, and the only hospital within 100 miles of my house just closed. But at least I know that now there won't be any non-binary characters on Paw Patrol.
December 9, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I lost my job, there are no toys on the shelves, and the only hospital within 100 miles of my house just closed. But at least I know that now there won't be any non-binary characters on Paw Patrol.
It’s coming in the mail tomorrow. I’m so stoked!
I love pancake lenses!
I love pancake lenses!
December 8, 2025 at 5:16 PM
It’s coming in the mail tomorrow. I’m so stoked!
I love pancake lenses!
I love pancake lenses!
I always tell myself I’m going to play a different race when I boot up Dawn of War, then I play Space Marines again.
December 7, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I always tell myself I’m going to play a different race when I boot up Dawn of War, then I play Space Marines again.
I’m so New York, the “What’s your take?” guy doesn’t need to interview me because he already knows my take.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
December 7, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I’m so New York, the “What’s your take?” guy doesn’t need to interview me because he already knows my take.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
And with the last tear of the tape, the last gift is locked and loaded under the tree.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
December 7, 2025 at 1:26 AM
And with the last tear of the tape, the last gift is locked and loaded under the tree.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
I don’t think night people get enough credit for adapting to a world run by day people
December 6, 2025 at 11:10 PM
I don’t think night people get enough credit for adapting to a world run by day people
Alright, time to stop dicking around in Hyrule and actually beat Tears of the Kingdom.
December 6, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Alright, time to stop dicking around in Hyrule and actually beat Tears of the Kingdom.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Oh… It’s the Abominable Snowman because it’s an abomination.
December 6, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Oh… It’s the Abominable Snowman because it’s an abomination.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
my friend mostly listens to classical music so his Spotify Wrapped age is 224
December 5, 2025 at 10:06 PM
my friend mostly listens to classical music so his Spotify Wrapped age is 224
Oh ok JD... Hanukkah is just another *Christmas* event.
I was pretty sure it's a whole other ass religion's holiday but what do I know? I'm just a Jew.
I was pretty sure it's a whole other ass religion's holiday but what do I know? I'm just a Jew.
December 5, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Oh ok JD... Hanukkah is just another *Christmas* event.
I was pretty sure it's a whole other ass religion's holiday but what do I know? I'm just a Jew.
I was pretty sure it's a whole other ass religion's holiday but what do I know? I'm just a Jew.
My neighborhood bar followed me back on Instagram.
I’m officially cool now.
I’m officially cool now.
December 4, 2025 at 7:47 PM
My neighborhood bar followed me back on Instagram.
I’m officially cool now.
I’m officially cool now.
Ugh, it looks like a 32nd century Abercrombie add.
December 4, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Ugh, it looks like a 32nd century Abercrombie add.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Joe Biden really messed up the economy in 2020
December 4, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Joe Biden really messed up the economy in 2020
Is it safe to be a Scorpio on here?
December 3, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Is it safe to be a Scorpio on here?
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Pete Hegseth, 'SSecretary of War'
December 3, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Pete Hegseth, 'SSecretary of War'
We clean up good.
Happy thanksgiving!
Happy thanksgiving!
November 30, 2025 at 5:32 PM
We clean up good.
Happy thanksgiving!
Happy thanksgiving!