my bullshit is unrelenting
@lighter.bsky.social
Large Typh and part-time Demon Badger. (Character is He/Him)
Owner of account is some sort of entity. (Any, just don't call me Sir)
No-good dirty red.
WARNING: Posts/RTs weird NSFW
Owner of account is some sort of entity. (Any, just don't call me Sir)
No-good dirty red.
WARNING: Posts/RTs weird NSFW
Pinned
I was thinking recently about getting more into baking, like I started this year trying pretz-[Horrifyingly loud popping sound comes directly from my groin] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
November 30, 2025 at 4:36 AM
I was thinking recently about getting more into baking, like I started this year trying pretz-[Horrifyingly loud popping sound comes directly from my groin] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The hyper realistic blood that accompanies an evil version of the protagonist saying my full legal name
November 30, 2025 at 4:18 AM
The hyper realistic blood that accompanies an evil version of the protagonist saying my full legal name
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Feeling bad? Pour a bunch of French dressing on a head of iceberg lettuce and eat it completely nude in your bathtub!
October 9, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Feeling bad? Pour a bunch of French dressing on a head of iceberg lettuce and eat it completely nude in your bathtub!
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Lighter 60m Quickie 2025-06-01
June 1, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Lighter 60m Quickie 2025-06-01
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
There was a guy called "Bug Machine" who used to go to the Flamingo Lounge when I was in Miami. He wouldn't fuck you unless you had at least Hep C
October 11, 2025 at 1:31 AM
There was a guy called "Bug Machine" who used to go to the Flamingo Lounge when I was in Miami. He wouldn't fuck you unless you had at least Hep C
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
After Brad_da_Man held the record for fastest poop flip percent record in Monkey Slurp 64 for eight years, nobody expected him to ever be dethroned.
[Royalty-free synthwave starts playing]
But that's when he was met by his ultimate challenger: PoopBoy69
[Royalty-free synthwave starts playing]
But that's when he was met by his ultimate challenger: PoopBoy69
October 11, 2025 at 10:42 AM
After Brad_da_Man held the record for fastest poop flip percent record in Monkey Slurp 64 for eight years, nobody expected him to ever be dethroned.
[Royalty-free synthwave starts playing]
But that's when he was met by his ultimate challenger: PoopBoy69
[Royalty-free synthwave starts playing]
But that's when he was met by his ultimate challenger: PoopBoy69
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Remember the weird Sega Bass Fishing spin-off, "Sega Ass Fisting?"
October 12, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Remember the weird Sega Bass Fishing spin-off, "Sega Ass Fisting?"
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
What if instead of Game Freak the pokemon games were made by a company Cum Freak and nothing else was different in any way except kids have to ask their parents what "cum freak" means
October 14, 2025 at 9:18 PM
What if instead of Game Freak the pokemon games were made by a company Cum Freak and nothing else was different in any way except kids have to ask their parents what "cum freak" means
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Got in trouble at work for dipping my hands in the giant bucket of ketchup we have in the break room and slapping handprints on the walls. They had to remind me the employee ketchup bucket is for food use only and now I gotta spend my break driving to Costco to get another ketchup bucket.
October 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Got in trouble at work for dipping my hands in the giant bucket of ketchup we have in the break room and slapping handprints on the walls. They had to remind me the employee ketchup bucket is for food use only and now I gotta spend my break driving to Costco to get another ketchup bucket.
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
I bought some bazooka joe gum just to see what the comics are like now and this one is such a non joke I cackled audibly at it
October 17, 2025 at 3:30 AM
I bought some bazooka joe gum just to see what the comics are like now and this one is such a non joke I cackled audibly at it
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
If I ever get a job where I have to use Adobe InDesign again they better have free ritalin in the break room or I'm going postal
October 17, 2025 at 2:35 PM
If I ever get a job where I have to use Adobe InDesign again they better have free ritalin in the break room or I'm going postal
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Lighter 60m quickie 2025-10-16
October 17, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Lighter 60m quickie 2025-10-16
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
The funny thing about Bee Movie is how Seinfeld is playing against type because bees dont usually live for more than a year, so one of the main plots of the movie is his character trying to win over an older woman.
October 19, 2025 at 3:30 AM
The funny thing about Bee Movie is how Seinfeld is playing against type because bees dont usually live for more than a year, so one of the main plots of the movie is his character trying to win over an older woman.
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Got interviewed by the New York Times yesterday. I feel very blessed.
![A fictitious article of the New York Times authored by Joe Shmoe:
Yesterday it was a photo of two members of British Parliament shaking hands. Today it's a photo of a high school graduate shaking hands and getting her diploma. Tomorrow? Nobody knows, but it will likely involve two people shaking hands.
"There's so much meaning hidden in a photo of two people shaking hands," explains Marshymallow, creator of the Daily Handshakes account on Twitter (the site currently held hostage as X), "they might be having a good handshake. They might be having a bad one. One of them might really need to go to the bathroom. We all talk about handshakes, but what do they mean?"
Nobody's quite sure, but one thing is for sure — the page is insanely popular. Despite only being created 8 days ago it has 1.2 million followers including Barrack Obama, Tom Brady and Elmo. "I think it speaks to people because most people have shaken hands at one point or another," suggests Marshy. I asked him what he thinks and feels about handshaking. "if i ever was forced to touch someone else's fucking hnads[sic] i'd kill them and then myself," he replied before hanging up the Zoom call. Since then he has refused to speak to me.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:p35qgez3awiqmnyytye656sa/bafkreigdyif6sy4vsaxz77ugofd4ew6uugwoww3firpzluf7oiqpat2zy4@jpeg)
November 29, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Got interviewed by the New York Times yesterday. I feel very blessed.
Heard Taffy Man used his big long arms to save a cat from a tree today.
November 29, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Heard Taffy Man used his big long arms to save a cat from a tree today.
One time I had a dream where I was at Walmart to buy a parrot, but a skeleton accosted me. He kept saying, "help me, help me find my shoe size" and I tried to tell him I didn't work there and didn't know how to measure the size of a skeleton's foot.
November 29, 2025 at 7:27 PM
One time I had a dream where I was at Walmart to buy a parrot, but a skeleton accosted me. He kept saying, "help me, help me find my shoe size" and I tried to tell him I didn't work there and didn't know how to measure the size of a skeleton's foot.
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
I gotta go to bed but before I do check this out [shines a laser pointer on the floor] go go get it go get the dot go get it kill kill kill
November 29, 2025 at 8:39 AM
I gotta go to bed but before I do check this out [shines a laser pointer on the floor] go go get it go get the dot go get it kill kill kill
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Doctor: its a boy!
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
November 29, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Doctor: its a boy!
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
Reposted by my bullshit is unrelenting
Tried to blow my nose and my skull came out. Im gonna go to the hospital in a few days to see if they can have it reattached.
November 29, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Tried to blow my nose and my skull came out. Im gonna go to the hospital in a few days to see if they can have it reattached.
I once saw a box of pac man cereal for sale at a Kmart in 2002
November 29, 2025 at 9:12 AM
I once saw a box of pac man cereal for sale at a Kmart in 2002
Country that literally had a war over slavery and faked a disaster to kill mexicans and assassinated MLK Jr and used 9/11 as an excuse to murder millions of civilians: "trump's america is not our america"
November 29, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Country that literally had a war over slavery and faked a disaster to kill mexicans and assassinated MLK Jr and used 9/11 as an excuse to murder millions of civilians: "trump's america is not our america"
I gotta go to bed but before I do check this out [shines a laser pointer on the floor] go go get it go get the dot go get it kill kill kill
November 29, 2025 at 8:39 AM
I gotta go to bed but before I do check this out [shines a laser pointer on the floor] go go get it go get the dot go get it kill kill kill
Doctor: its a boy!
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
November 29, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Doctor: its a boy!
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
Me: cool im gonna name him "Penis Asshole"
Doctor: [stuffing him back in] no no try again you can't name a baby that
Ari Aster should make a full comedy. Like just an avant garde 2 1/2 buddy road trip movie. Get really surreal with it, yeah, but not black comedy. Just be weird. Also definitely crush someone's head in it.
November 29, 2025 at 7:24 AM
Ari Aster should make a full comedy. Like just an avant garde 2 1/2 buddy road trip movie. Get really surreal with it, yeah, but not black comedy. Just be weird. Also definitely crush someone's head in it.