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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy

@juljohnston.bsky.social

480 followers 380 following 1K posts

Aka r/julbug76, nicetryfed Tumblr/Discord. She/her. Monkeyvellian genius. The rare Gen-Xer who is glad she never has to drink out of a hose again because that wasn't that great tbh.

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · Mar 22

"Thisisthebestdayofmylife"
"That's so nice, thank you!"

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 2d

I AM FILLED WITH RAGE AND ANXIETY

derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 4d

About a month ago, the Trump administration got rid of the de minimis exemption, whereby packages valued under $800 could slide in without import duties. Now there's a backlog as the government can't process all of this paperwork, leading to UPS just destroying packages

Business Insider headline reads: UPS is telling customers that their packages coming to the US are marked for destruction.

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 3d

Oof paint marker? Magic eraser might help, but it also might take the wall paint with it.

a woman with red hair is making a funny face while sitting in front of a crowd of people .

ALT: a woman with red hair is making a funny face while sitting in front of a crowd of people .

media.tenor.com

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 3d

Ok but in Evie's defense, those people are super cute.

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 4d

Every. Time.

Cartoon: Doctors and Fat Patients | Alas, a Blog https://share.google/m7HMeVMa3anzPkxrl

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 4d

"Have you tried losing weight?"
"Tf does that have to do with my *frozen shoulder*?"
"But have you tried?"

An actual conversation I had with an orthopedic specialist.

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 4d

I turned my head too fast the other day and gave myself a neck cramp lol
I took a pan of rolls out of the oven and got a cramp in my side like really?
So much of middle age is just cramps and being pissed off.

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 4d

I read that and was like "So... a 65 year old with congestive heart failure?"

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 4d

GIMME THIS

a man in a suit and tie says i 'm not shouting while standing next to a woman

ALT: a man in a suit and tie says i 'm not shouting while standing next to a woman

media.tenor.com

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 5d

I just came up with a title for my Femme Noir AU.
You may applaud and throw flowers, but please, no panties.

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 5d

Why you gotta call me out like this?

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 5d

Look, idk what's going on but this managed to summon Rach to bsky, so somebody probably fucked up.

Reposted by Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy

Peter Stefanovic @peterstefanovic.bsky.social · 6d

BREAKING: Maria Corina Machado wins Nobel Peace Prize

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Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 6d

Didn't they do the exact same thing to Biden? One minute, he was an addled old man, the next he was actively destroying America.

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 6d

Wait so am I gonna be the one who suggests we check out the noise in the basement?

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 6d

Or have a function that is "you have [insert text here] in this cell? Why yes we *can* change the whole row or column to a special color for you automatically. Like conditional formatting for the whole row, why wouldn't we have that? That's silly."

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 7d

Somewhere in an attic, there's a portrait of Stephen Miller getting prettier.

Hillary Monahan @hillarymonahan.bsky.social · 7d

I'm going to break my own rule; ugliness is an arbitrary construct and not an indicator of character.

Stephen Miller looks exactly like he should. Like hatred is eating him from the inside out until all that's left is a shief of skim milk flesh stretched taut over brittle bird bones.

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 7d

Happy Yankees Elimination Day to everyone who celebrates.

Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy @juljohnston.bsky.social · 7d

OMG I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

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Reposted by Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy

Melanie D’Arrigo @darrigomelanie.bsky.social · 8d

I feel like this photo of masked, armed men pepper spraying a pastor protecting his community is going to be a defining picture of this moment in America for a long, long time.

1.7K 21K 56K

Reposted by Brandy Smuggler, Master Spy

Jonathan Coe @jonathancoe.bsky.social · 8d

This morning I turned on my phone only to find that it had changed my user name to Shirley, and when I tried to enter a simple Google query it came out as "Do you like gladiator movies?"

Then I realised it was in Airplane! mode.