Jason Palmer
@jpalmerdubs.bsky.social
1.2K followers 480 following 6.1K posts
DANK: Disney Adult No Kids. Deathly allergic to cats. 🏳️‍🌈 ✡️ He/him
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Pinned
Monkey’s first Disneyland visit - 1976.
3 year old me in the Monkey cage car of Casey Jr’s Railroad.
Mine were from the Germanic states.
Raise your hands if your ancestors were immigrants who settled in New York City. 🙋‍♂️
“It was a mistake to put so many migrants in New York City.” - Cuomo
Reposted by Jason Palmer
I was born in 1972. The replacement rate he's panicked about has been below 2.1% for almost every year of my life.

If you're really worried about the population falling, giving immigrants a path to citizenship is an obvious and easy solution.

Unless there's ... something about them you don't like?
RFK Jr: "When my uncle was president, the fertility rate in this country was 3.5%. Today it is 1.6%. The replacement rate -- in other words the amount of fertility you need to keep your population even -- is 2.1%. We are below replacement. That is a national security threat to our country."
Reposted by Jason Palmer
When you're so mad at imperialism you can't keep straight who imperialized who
yeah I can't think of a reason roman artifacts would be in britain
screenshot of tags on a tumblr post. tags read: #yeah i was at the british museum looking at roman artifacts like. this is fucking weird why are these here #(I'm Italian I've been to literal Rome)
Reposted by Jason Palmer
sorry this is an insane thing to say about people jewvestigating my wife over liking lord of the rings
Listen, American drivers, I know we don’t have a lot of traffic circles here, but let’s make this simple:

Cars already in the circle have right-of-way. If you are driving in the circle, continue until your turnout.

If you are entering a circle, you must yield to cars already on the circle.
???
Honestly we need a federal investigation on VPs to figure out what the hell is going on
r/remotework
Join
u/SilentOtter 22 • 11h
Our VP invented a "virtual commute" and now we have to prove we walked before logging in
Yesterday we got a memo saying burnout is caused by the lack of a commute, so leadership launched Virtual Commute. At 8 sharp we must go outside, walk for at least 12 minutes, and upload a selfie to a Teams folder called Morning Proof. They said it is optional, then added a line that participation will be visible on performance reports. the template asks for steps, weather, and a reflection like " what did you learn during your walk". My reflection at 8, I learned that I hate reporting my feet.
This morning I tried doing laps in my hallway, phone in pocket, because it was raining sideways. The app flagged my location as insufficiently outdoors and sent me a gentle reminder to find fresh air. A coworker forgot and got a calendar invite named Coaching on Healthy Routines. meanwhile my actual work started late because the folder was full of 200 photos of wet sidewalks. I can ship code, I can answer tickets, I cannot fight SharePoint at sunrise. I set my status to Walking to work and sat down at my desk.
Reposted by Jason Palmer
fucking Manchin and Sinema
"Democrats did not move to restrict gerrymandering in federal legislation when they had opportunities."

Yep. (*stares in Kyrsten Sinema and Joe Manchin*)

Dems failure to secure democracy against all this has, alas, many parents.
You won’t believe what happens when homo sapiens meets homo denisovan!
That was good. Are you watching hung the Humans series on Nova?
Reposted by Jason Palmer
the year is 2030. a doctor solemnly informs you that you have plastic in your testicles bc millions of people persuaded by celebrity marketing bought synthetic pubic hairs that were eventually consumed by fish that you ate
The Daily Beast writes: "Kim Kardashian's brand SKIMS has sold out its synthetic pubic hair thongs and is now accumulating a waitlist for the product." Their tweet is accompanied by a link to a post with the story.
Reposted by Jason Palmer
Please kickstart my Sleeping Beauty reboot in which she presses charges against the prince who kissed her as she slept called "Woke Beauty".
Would that really stop them?

They need to put fair dead crows on the roofs/tops of the trees.
Mom, 78, just said she wants to do a zipline. So we booked California’s longest for next Wednesday.

Also, she’s had some wine.

And a gummy.
(he says while wearing a cap)
As it should. Stop being a follicle oppressor.
😒

Wordle 1,579 6/6

⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
🟩⬜🟩⬜⬜
🟩⬜🟩🟩🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩