Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

jonny toothpick

@jonnytoothpick.bsky.social

39 followers 89 following 400 posts

I am the alter ego of someone not very funny. I am also not very funny. Anti-evil. (All opinions are my own or subconsciously pirated from 60s television.)

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 1h

If Superman is so super, then why isn’t he on the news ever?

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 4h

It’s raining. I’m getting wet. There is no God.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 6h

Yesterday was okay in retrospect.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 8h

Done.

1 1

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 8h

The ghost in my attic left because I’m spending too much time on social media.

1 2

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 9h

Today I’m going to have a snack breakfast, a snack lunch, and a snack dinner. And then I’ll have dessert.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 12h

Those movies were made before humans developed the fight or flight instinct. True fact.

Reposted by jonny toothpick

Craig Hunter @craghanta.bsky.social · 14h

72 hour protection for deodorant seems unnecessary outside of trench warfare.

1 8 36

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 15h

Not sure who needs to know this, but today’s wordle answer is “BATMAN”.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 16h

Share a cartoon from the post that kids today probably never heard of 📺

Jonny Quest Intro and Credits [1080p Bluray Version]

YouTube video by Sam's TV Channel

youtu.be

1 2

Reposted by jonny toothpick

Skellyton 💀🦇 @infinitefinite.bsky.social · 19h

Alexa? abolish time zones

1 4 5

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 21h

The sun rises and sets no matter what we do to each other. Think of it as a big FU.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 1d

Don’t forget to set your clock back one hour. The time isn’t changing or anything. You just look like you could use 60 extra minutes.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 1d

Based on what I’m seeing in the stores now, I think I’m supposed to dress as a Christmas tree for Halloween.

4 9

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 1d

I’m feeling extra normal lately, which means I’m even less in touch with my internal wiring than usual.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 1d

I try hard not to look at any news before breakfast. Or during breakfast. Or after breakfast. Ever really.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 1d

The sun sets so early now I don’t know why I bother to get up.

Reposted by jonny toothpick

Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 2d

Not all who wander into the woods to scream are lost.

5 55 150

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 2d

I’m writing my obituary just in case, you know, I eventually, you know.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 2d

Lassie, please poop already. I want to go home.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 2d

I remember a time when we thought they would all die out.

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 2d

We are a nation of laws. lol jk

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 2d

It’s nighttime where I am. It’s always nighttime where I am, no matter where I go.

1 2

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 2d

Playgrounds are the devil’s playgrounds.

2 2 9

jonny toothpick @jonnytoothpick.bsky.social · 2d

When my grandmother was alive, she always said it’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man. I just wish she didn’t keep saying it to my girlfriends.