jonny toothpick
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jonnytoothpick.bsky.social
jonny toothpick
@jonnytoothpick.bsky.social
I think in my pajamas. Anti-evil. (All opinions are my own or subconsciously pirated from 60s television.)
Pinned
important safety tip: don’t own a pet that can kill you
hey, today lives in infamy and don’t forget it
December 7, 2025 at 4:42 PM
i dreamed i ate a cow whole. when i woke up my dog was gone
December 7, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
it’s untoward to be awake right now
December 7, 2025 at 7:43 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
A shadow emerges between two sleek parked cars. It rests a hand on the hood of a late model black Mercedes 2-door coupe.

"Where I'm from...the world of illegal street racing," he takes a quick look down the narrow street behind before turning back.
"We value a good, but extremely short backstory."
December 7, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I hold the entirety of the world's knowledge in my hand, and yet I choose to look at Garfield memes
December 7, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I thought I saw a ghost but it was actually just a bioluminescent victorian child.
November 27, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
How can we be soulmates if you don’t repost my stupid jokes?
December 6, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Age yourself with your first computer.
December 7, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not the wandering spirit of a girl who was murdered several centuries ago who inhabited my body to use as a vessel for vengeance against the descendants of her killers
December 7, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
following you just to keep an eye on you
December 7, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
Got tased at bingo again
December 6, 2025 at 6:38 PM
peel me off the floor like one of your french girls
December 6, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I don't think everything's been this weird before. Unprecedented strangeness imo.
December 6, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
Just half a cup of dread for me this morning, thanks. I'm pretty full.
November 7, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
Me and the ladies seeing you
dangling your modifier
August 18, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram
December 5, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
grateful for the community. i learn from you every day
December 5, 2025 at 1:06 PM
fantasy island except it’s just me stuck in my head in the middle of christmas shopping
December 5, 2025 at 6:31 PM
mulligan. do over on humanity
December 5, 2025 at 4:13 PM
rise and shine, motherfuckers. it’s friday!
December 5, 2025 at 1:18 PM
grateful for the community. i learn from you every day
December 5, 2025 at 1:06 PM
running away from discover back to following. was good for a while then it wasn’t
December 5, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
これは今年最後の満月です。がんぼるぞい。

translation:
This is the last full moon of the year.
December 5, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Reposted by jonny toothpick
[eating banana bread] “wow, this is delicious, what other rotten fruit can we bake.”
December 5, 2025 at 3:07 AM
in my next life i want to come back as an amoeba
December 5, 2025 at 12:21 AM