jonny toothpick
@jonnytoothpick.bsky.social
I think in my pajamas. Anti-evil. (All opinions are my own or subconsciously pirated from 60s television.)
Pinned
important safety tip: don’t own a pet that can kill you
hey, today lives in infamy and don’t forget it
December 7, 2025 at 4:42 PM
hey, today lives in infamy and don’t forget it
i dreamed i ate a cow whole. when i woke up my dog was gone
December 7, 2025 at 2:48 PM
i dreamed i ate a cow whole. when i woke up my dog was gone
Reposted by jonny toothpick
it’s untoward to be awake right now
December 7, 2025 at 7:43 AM
it’s untoward to be awake right now
Reposted by jonny toothpick
A shadow emerges between two sleek parked cars. It rests a hand on the hood of a late model black Mercedes 2-door coupe.
"Where I'm from...the world of illegal street racing," he takes a quick look down the narrow street behind before turning back.
"We value a good, but extremely short backstory."
"Where I'm from...the world of illegal street racing," he takes a quick look down the narrow street behind before turning back.
"We value a good, but extremely short backstory."
December 7, 2025 at 3:23 AM
A shadow emerges between two sleek parked cars. It rests a hand on the hood of a late model black Mercedes 2-door coupe.
"Where I'm from...the world of illegal street racing," he takes a quick look down the narrow street behind before turning back.
"We value a good, but extremely short backstory."
"Where I'm from...the world of illegal street racing," he takes a quick look down the narrow street behind before turning back.
"We value a good, but extremely short backstory."
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I hold the entirety of the world's knowledge in my hand, and yet I choose to look at Garfield memes
December 7, 2025 at 2:58 AM
I hold the entirety of the world's knowledge in my hand, and yet I choose to look at Garfield memes
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I thought I saw a ghost but it was actually just a bioluminescent victorian child.
November 27, 2025 at 11:30 AM
I thought I saw a ghost but it was actually just a bioluminescent victorian child.
Reposted by jonny toothpick
How can we be soulmates if you don’t repost my stupid jokes?
December 6, 2025 at 5:16 PM
How can we be soulmates if you don’t repost my stupid jokes?
Age yourself with your first computer.
December 7, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Age yourself with your first computer.
Reposted by jonny toothpick
you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not the wandering spirit of a girl who was murdered several centuries ago who inhabited my body to use as a vessel for vengeance against the descendants of her killers
December 7, 2025 at 12:56 AM
you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not the wandering spirit of a girl who was murdered several centuries ago who inhabited my body to use as a vessel for vengeance against the descendants of her killers
Reposted by jonny toothpick
following you just to keep an eye on you
December 7, 2025 at 12:31 AM
following you just to keep an eye on you
Reposted by jonny toothpick
Got tased at bingo again
December 6, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Got tased at bingo again
peel me off the floor like one of your french girls
December 6, 2025 at 4:38 PM
peel me off the floor like one of your french girls
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I don't think everything's been this weird before. Unprecedented strangeness imo.
December 6, 2025 at 5:48 AM
I don't think everything's been this weird before. Unprecedented strangeness imo.
Reposted by jonny toothpick
Just half a cup of dread for me this morning, thanks. I'm pretty full.
November 7, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Just half a cup of dread for me this morning, thanks. I'm pretty full.
Reposted by jonny toothpick
Me and the ladies seeing you
dangling your modifier
dangling your modifier
August 18, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Me and the ladies seeing you
dangling your modifier
dangling your modifier
Reposted by jonny toothpick
I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram
December 5, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram
Reposted by jonny toothpick
grateful for the community. i learn from you every day
December 5, 2025 at 1:06 PM
grateful for the community. i learn from you every day
fantasy island except it’s just me stuck in my head in the middle of christmas shopping
December 5, 2025 at 6:31 PM
fantasy island except it’s just me stuck in my head in the middle of christmas shopping
mulligan. do over on humanity
December 5, 2025 at 4:13 PM
mulligan. do over on humanity
rise and shine, motherfuckers. it’s friday!
December 5, 2025 at 1:18 PM
rise and shine, motherfuckers. it’s friday!
grateful for the community. i learn from you every day
December 5, 2025 at 1:06 PM
grateful for the community. i learn from you every day
running away from discover back to following. was good for a while then it wasn’t
December 5, 2025 at 5:48 AM
running away from discover back to following. was good for a while then it wasn’t
Reposted by jonny toothpick
これは今年最後の満月です。がんぼるぞい。
translation:
This is the last full moon of the year.
translation:
This is the last full moon of the year.
December 5, 2025 at 12:13 AM
これは今年最後の満月です。がんぼるぞい。
translation:
This is the last full moon of the year.
translation:
This is the last full moon of the year.
Reposted by jonny toothpick
[eating banana bread] “wow, this is delicious, what other rotten fruit can we bake.”
December 5, 2025 at 3:07 AM
[eating banana bread] “wow, this is delicious, what other rotten fruit can we bake.”
in my next life i want to come back as an amoeba
December 5, 2025 at 12:21 AM
in my next life i want to come back as an amoeba