Author | Lightnews

Reposted by John Tucker

Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 12h

And damn me, Ahab, but thou actest right; live in the game, and die in it!

Reposted by John Tucker

don't hug me I'm porksweats @porksweats.bsky.social · 3d

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

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Tyler Maun @tylermaun.com · 22d

Sandy Koufax is 89 and looks better than I have ever looked a day in my life.

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Rachel Deering @racheldeering.bsky.social · 3d

Carving the Pumpkin by Franck Antoine Bail, 1910. 🎃

Woman in white apron in kitchen cutting into a pumpkin, painting.

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 3d

DIETER

John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 7d

I put this on the dads grouptext. They claim they did NOT like it, but now they keep posting various screengrabs and quotes and I can already tell some of the language is going to memetically, ironically appear for the foreseeable future “Here let me feed you guys a clip of the Shohei homer, etc.”

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 8d

So many dads just sending texts that say “Wemby” to the grouptext rn.

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · Jan 29

⚠️ Google has given you access to The Computer That Lies.

⚠️ You are now required to use The Computer That Lies.

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static klinger @jessespector.com · 9d

RAISE VALID POINTS AT THE COMMUNITY MEETING
PRAISE DALE

OneDishwasher @onedishwasher.bsky.social · 9d

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 9d

@celebrityhottub.bsky.social Gete Polding. Has anyone thought of that.

John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 10d

Just a little guy out there firing off chirping raspy metallic MF’s at all passers by.

John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 10d

There’s a male Anna’s Hummingbird who has laid claim to the tree in our front yard and I really respect how loud he is about it.

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Timothy Burke @bubbaprog.xyz · 10d

[beastie boys]

It's a mission better suited for Don QuiXOTE
Try'na ban tortillas like a Big XII TOADY
Stead'a stoppin' those students from throwin' ROTI
Bribe the referees with cash from uncle CODY

Sam Khan Jr. @skhanjr.bsky.social · 10d

Texas Tech AD Kirby Hocutt just announced that they will no longer "encourage or permit" tortillas to be thrown at opening kickoff of home games to avoid potential penalties hurting the team.

Hocutt joined Joey McGuire for his weekly presser and opened it with a statement about the tortillas.

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 13d

⚾️
/ \ / \ / \ / \

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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 14d

years ago—never mind how long precisely

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 15d

“A Voyage to Spain”

ft. decorations inspired by

Ferdinand the Bull

or

Luis Carrero Blanco

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👻Wereman 🐺🎃 @spookarties.bsky.social · Dec 1

Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work

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Ryan Nanni @celebrityhottub.bsky.social · 16d

Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross shouting “the leads are weak? you’re weak.”

This joke only works when read, not said aloud

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 17d

Yes but at least he got to do a frighteningly large BM into a bag while his toes fell off (in the desert)

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 18d

Damn fine protestin’ you’re doin there fellows

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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 18d

Now more than ever it is important to find community.

A sign hanging in S&P Lunch reading "a proud member of the consolidated sandwich group."

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Graham Platner for Senate @grahamformaine.bsky.social · 19d

We have armed secret police kidnapping people off the street based on the color of their skin.

When we win: we will haul them before a Senate committee. The masks will come off. There will be consequences.

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 19d

Patt Matricia

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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 21d

the man’s a human being just as I am: he has just as much reason to fear me, as I have to be afraid of him

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John Tucker @johnwtucker.bsky.social · 24d

I have compete authority to say this. Don’t look at my water bottle.