Jenner
@jenneraustin.bsky.social
Outside general counsel for Texas businesses. Austinite. Wife of a Navy vet. Dog mom to Teddy the Havapoo. Fan of Democracy, Arsenal, and USWNT.
Reposted by Jenner
Me buying a copy of The Onion when I was 18: "let's see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Me buying a copy of The Onion when I was 18: "let's see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Reposted by Jenner
Somewhere out there the mayor-elect of the biggest city in the world is also making fun of Neuer’s mustache
November 26, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Somewhere out there the mayor-elect of the biggest city in the world is also making fun of Neuer’s mustache
Reposted by Jenner
Spurs were close to Eze in the summer, but here couldn't get near him
www.independent.co.uk/sport/footba...
www.independent.co.uk/sport/footba...
How Eze made a mockery of Tottenham and changed Arsenal’s Premier League fate
Arsenal 4-1 Tottenham: Eze wrote his name in history with a north London derby hat-trick
www.independent.co.uk
November 23, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Spurs were close to Eze in the summer, but here couldn't get near him
www.independent.co.uk/sport/footba...
www.independent.co.uk/sport/footba...
Reposted by Jenner
On Marco van Basten, the demands of modern football, and some specific ways Arsenal can target Spurs.
The long game
On getting fit, navigating the schedule, and beating Spurs
billycarpenter.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 9:45 AM
On Marco van Basten, the demands of modern football, and some specific ways Arsenal can target Spurs.
Between Arsenal BlueSky and Football Clichés’ new Cricket Clichés podcast that got served into my app while winding down last night, I am now "Cricket Curious."
November 21, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Between Arsenal BlueSky and Football Clichés’ new Cricket Clichés podcast that got served into my app while winding down last night, I am now "Cricket Curious."
I’ve been deleting old videos on my iPad, so I could download a new iPadOS update.
So my early evening has been filled with videos of Puppy Teddy, here at 8 months old.
So my early evening has been filled with videos of Puppy Teddy, here at 8 months old.
November 21, 2025 at 12:39 AM
I’ve been deleting old videos on my iPad, so I could download a new iPadOS update.
So my early evening has been filled with videos of Puppy Teddy, here at 8 months old.
So my early evening has been filled with videos of Puppy Teddy, here at 8 months old.
Reposted by Jenner
If you use GMail, AI (Gemini) was turned on yesterday by default and now scans all of your content for machine learning. To turn off, go to Settings>General and scroll down. Uncheck the box for "Smart features."
There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.
There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.
November 20, 2025 at 5:32 PM
If you use GMail, AI (Gemini) was turned on yesterday by default and now scans all of your content for machine learning. To turn off, go to Settings>General and scroll down. Uncheck the box for "Smart features."
There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.
There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.
Reposted by Jenner
The facts are complicated, but here’s a summary of what appears to have happened based on the filings and today’s hearing:
NEWS: During a hearing in federal court in VA, prosecutors confirmed that the operative indictment in the case against James Comey was never shown to or voted on by the entire grand jury before it was presented in open court.
Defense counsel argued that’s a complete bar to further prosecution
Defense counsel argued that’s a complete bar to further prosecution
November 19, 2025 at 6:30 PM
The facts are complicated, but here’s a summary of what appears to have happened based on the filings and today’s hearing:
Excellent story. Mosquera is a gem.
Cristhian Mosquera is very, very cool. And yes, he actually did laugh at *that* scene from The Full Monty www.theguardian.com/football/202...
Cristhian Mosquera: ‘Arsenal were my team growing up. They had an aura’
The Spain Under-21 centre-back talks to Sid Lowe about his club’s ‘crazy’ defensive numbers, his dual identity and his love of multicultural London
www.theguardian.com
November 16, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Excellent story. Mosquera is a gem.
All of my « for you » feed on bsky is fellow Arsenal fans dunking on that Sky interview and this insanity:
“Puts it on a plate.” Excuse me while
I question reality itself.
I question reality itself.
November 14, 2025 at 12:44 PM
All of my « for you » feed on bsky is fellow Arsenal fans dunking on that Sky interview and this insanity:
Math plus chess plus French =
November 11, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Math plus chess plus French =
Reposted by Jenner
Congrats to the eight Democrats who gave this regime a huge win over the weekend. Here’s your reward.
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/10/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/10/u...
Trump Pardons Giuliani and Others Involved in Effort to Overturn 2020 Election
www.nytimes.com
November 10, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Congrats to the eight Democrats who gave this regime a huge win over the weekend. Here’s your reward.
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/10/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/10/u...
Reposted by Jenner
Great job, @schumer.senate.gov. You've changed the story from "GOP hurting millions of Americans to please unpopular, failing, delusional despot who's destroying his party" to "Dems are too weak and divided in the face of Trump's strength to take a stand and protect Americans"
November 10, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Great job, @schumer.senate.gov. You've changed the story from "GOP hurting millions of Americans to please unpopular, failing, delusional despot who's destroying his party" to "Dems are too weak and divided in the face of Trump's strength to take a stand and protect Americans"
This is still infuriating. Leaving it here as a note to myself.
Also the multiple violent head and neck injuries and the fouls called *on* us that were *against* us.
Also the multiple violent head and neck injuries and the fouls called *on* us that were *against* us.
November 9, 2025 at 1:03 PM
This is still infuriating. Leaving it here as a note to myself.
Also the multiple violent head and neck injuries and the fouls called *on* us that were *against* us.
Also the multiple violent head and neck injuries and the fouls called *on* us that were *against* us.
We listened to the audio stream on Arsenal.com while watching on NBC. Disappointing draw, but given the hostile environment, poor refereeing, and head injuries, I’m glad to escape with a point.
Arsenal FC Official Website | Home | Arsenal.com
Arsenal Football Club Official Website: get the latest Arsenal FC news, highlights, fixtures and results. Become a free digital member for exclusive content.
Arsenal.com
November 8, 2025 at 8:03 PM
We listened to the audio stream on Arsenal.com while watching on NBC. Disappointing draw, but given the hostile environment, poor refereeing, and head injuries, I’m glad to escape with a point.
Reposted by Jenner
This is a great thread. Derek has risen to these times like few other people.
I think this bag is fake.
Hermes's flagship products are handsewn using a saddle stitch. A worker marks the leather using an awl and then threads two needles through from both sides.
This results in a tight stitch with no holes between the stitches. The holes here suggest the bag was machine sewn.
Hermes's flagship products are handsewn using a saddle stitch. A worker marks the leather using an awl and then threads two needles through from both sides.
This results in a tight stitch with no holes between the stitches. The holes here suggest the bag was machine sewn.
November 8, 2025 at 3:36 AM
This is a great thread. Derek has risen to these times like few other people.
Reposted by Jenner
This is the correct explanation of what happened tonight👇
KBJ threaded the needle thanks to CA1’s unfinished business.
-if she denied the admin stay, the full SCOTUS woulda stepped in to override her.
-if she immediately referred the case to the full Court, they coulda dragged feet.
-instead she boxed them in to act quickly once she does refer the case.
-if she denied the admin stay, the full SCOTUS woulda stepped in to override her.
-if she immediately referred the case to the full Court, they coulda dragged feet.
-instead she boxed them in to act quickly once she does refer the case.
November 8, 2025 at 3:35 AM
This is the correct explanation of what happened tonight👇
Teddy the Havapoo is obsessed with his own tree. This was the third time this morning that he stood with his paws against the trunk on this walk.
There is nothing in the tree. No cats, no birds, no squirrels.
There is nothing in the tree. No cats, no birds, no squirrels.
November 6, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Teddy the Havapoo is obsessed with his own tree. This was the third time this morning that he stood with his paws against the trunk on this walk.
There is nothing in the tree. No cats, no birds, no squirrels.
There is nothing in the tree. No cats, no birds, no squirrels.
Reposted by Jenner
dawg they’re live laugh loving the white house. president homegoods
November 5, 2025 at 3:55 PM
dawg they’re live laugh loving the white house. president homegoods
Reposted by Jenner
“Are Arsenal being rude by not letting other teams have a shot?” -papers tomorrow
November 1, 2025 at 3:53 PM
“Are Arsenal being rude by not letting other teams have a shot?” -papers tomorrow
I tried describing this moment to family, who were watching the Chelsea match, and sounded insane. So wholesome.
I've completely lost count as to how many times I've watched this. It just brings me endless joy. 🥰🥲
October 30, 2025 at 12:38 PM
I tried describing this moment to family, who were watching the Chelsea match, and sounded insane. So wholesome.
Reposted by Jenner
Mikel Merino and his sons beat Brighton
October 29, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Mikel Merino and his sons beat Brighton
Reposted by Jenner
The standard emotional rollercoaster of being an Arsenal fan 😂😂
October 29, 2025 at 9:03 PM
The standard emotional rollercoaster of being an Arsenal fan 😂😂
Today is going to be a complicated work day/night, so I’m starting with a one-girl dance party in the kitchen.
"Been down and out, been on top of the world, a world that keeps on spinning… "
"Been down and out, been on top of the world, a world that keeps on spinning… "
On a Turntable by The Interrupters on Apple Music
Song · 2016 · Duration 2:38
music.apple.com
October 23, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Today is going to be a complicated work day/night, so I’m starting with a one-girl dance party in the kitchen.
"Been down and out, been on top of the world, a world that keeps on spinning… "
"Been down and out, been on top of the world, a world that keeps on spinning… "
Teddy does not appreciate that I am dancing instead of giving him his breakfast.
October 23, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Teddy does not appreciate that I am dancing instead of giving him his breakfast.