Archbishop Deshaies
@houcounterplot.bsky.social
1.2K followers 500 following 1.4K posts
God gives His toughest battles to His strongest warriors. Proud 5x recipient of the Orel Hershiser Award for Online Sportsmanship (2018, 2019, 2021, 2022, 2023)
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There isn’t a fanbase in all of sports who has it worse than Astros fans
Not to steal @houcounterplot.bsky.social’s deal, but no one has it harder than Astros fans.
Postseason best-of-7 series where road team won each of first 4 games:

2025 ALCS
2023 ALCS (all 7)
2019 WS (all 7)
1996 WS (1st 5)
1993 ALCS
1986 WS
1923 WS
1906 WS (1st 5)
Can you imagine winning all of your away playoff games and none of your home games? …idiots!
This was a little aggressive. I apologize. The boss came in this morning and took a big shit all over us about this lawsuit. Said it’s our fault the meat is brown and then threatened to beat us.
Of course we lie about our food. You’re not stupid and neither are we. You don’t come to Arby’s because you’re hungry—you come to Arby’s because you’re depressed and you’re lonely and you hate yourself. The roast beef is brown, bitch. Deal with it.
I’ll be comping free knuckle sandwiches to anyone who wants to complain about our food. Pull up to the Pasadena location—I have nothing to lose.
Arby's is being sued for false advertising

Lawsuit alleges:

• Ads make the sandwiches appear to have 'at least 100% more meat' than they really do

• Made the meat look like rare roast beef when it is actually 'fully cooked'

Arby's lost its motion to dismiss the case
This is the most embarrassing non-Rangers thing to ever happen to the state of Texas
How much damage did these dudes do at Giordano's that Governor Abbott had to call off Operation Deep Dish after only four days?
The Texas Military Department confirmed to @taskandpurpose.com it had replaced some of the 200 National Guard troops sent to Chicago for not being "in compliance" with validation standards. This came after photos of heavyset NG members were widely mocked. taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-n...
Some Texas National Guard troops replaced in Illinois after failing to meet standards
An unspecified amount of Texas National Guard troops were replaced in Chicago, shortly after photos of their appearance were mocked.
taskandpurpose.com
Glad to see this. Wrote Governor Abbott a few days ago asking him to bring our large adult sons home
The Texas Military Department confirmed to @taskandpurpose.com it had replaced some of the 200 National Guard troops sent to Chicago for not being "in compliance" with validation standards. This came after photos of heavyset NG members were widely mocked. taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-n...
Some Texas National Guard troops replaced in Illinois after failing to meet standards
An unspecified amount of Texas National Guard troops were replaced in Chicago, shortly after photos of their appearance were mocked.
taskandpurpose.com
I’m currently working on a sculpture of these brave men valiantly raising the flag at Iwo Poncho’s.
The Texas Military Department confirmed to @taskandpurpose.com it had replaced some of the 200 National Guard troops sent to Chicago for not being "in compliance" with validation standards. This came after photos of heavyset NG members were widely mocked. taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-n...
Some Texas National Guard troops replaced in Illinois after failing to meet standards
An unspecified amount of Texas National Guard troops were replaced in Chicago, shortly after photos of their appearance were mocked.
taskandpurpose.com
Dishin’ Accomplished
The Texas Military Department confirmed to @taskandpurpose.com it had replaced some of the 200 National Guard troops sent to Chicago for not being "in compliance" with validation standards. This came after photos of heavyset NG members were widely mocked. taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-n...
Some Texas National Guard troops replaced in Illinois after failing to meet standards
An unspecified amount of Texas National Guard troops were replaced in Chicago, shortly after photos of their appearance were mocked.
taskandpurpose.com
They’re getting enlarged Purple Hearts.
The Texas Military Department confirmed to @taskandpurpose.com it had replaced some of the 200 National Guard troops sent to Chicago for not being "in compliance" with validation standards. This came after photos of heavyset NG members were widely mocked. taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-n...
Some Texas National Guard troops replaced in Illinois after failing to meet standards
An unspecified amount of Texas National Guard troops were replaced in Chicago, shortly after photos of their appearance were mocked.
taskandpurpose.com
They brought our boys back because they were too fat to fight. Smh.
The Texas Military Department confirmed to @taskandpurpose.com it had replaced some of the 200 National Guard troops sent to Chicago for not being "in compliance" with validation standards. This came after photos of heavyset NG members were widely mocked. taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-n...
Some Texas National Guard troops replaced in Illinois after failing to meet standards
An unspecified amount of Texas National Guard troops were replaced in Chicago, shortly after photos of their appearance were mocked.
taskandpurpose.com
The Yankees should have spent more time trying to get rid of all their alcoholic fans who throw beer bottles in their bathrooms.
Vladdy admits why he dislikes the Yankees in a 2023 interview: "When a team humiliates you, the Lord grants you the ability to humiliate them

“It was me who was removed from the stadium, I was 7 or 8 years old, so I was like okay... Now when I arrive you're going to feel my presence in the Bronx."
On Jose Altuve’s birthday, go to your local Arby’s and order a Smokehouse Brisket Sandwich combo with curly fries and - large lemonade. When they ask for a name on the order, say: “Jose Altuve.”
I feel bad for the Tigers. It’s hard for me to be happy for anyone.
Jose Altuve would have had both of these teams home and in bed by now.
Part of me wants the Tigers to win because I hate the Mariners but part of me wants the Mariners to win because I like @crawfordchrisv.bsky.social. Not sure how to feel. We’ll let it play out!
I’d rather be pantsed in a snowstorm and have every person on the planet laugh at my frigid little wiener than to grovel like this on a TV show. Does this man have any shame? How embarrassing for his entire family, his entire bloodline! This guy is from Georgia?
Rep. Buddy Carter: "Donald Trump deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. That's why I'm introducing a resolution today that will honor him with the Nobel Peace Prize."

(It doesn't work like that lol)
Regular people are watching this, right? Buddy Carter is a grown man. This is humiliating.
Rep. Buddy Carter: "Donald Trump deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. That's why I'm introducing a resolution today that will honor him with the Nobel Peace Prize."

(It doesn't work like that lol)
The selection committee picked the wrong Venezuelan
No way they’re gonna send the same Texas fat guys that they sent to Chicago.
BREAKING via AP

US says it's sending about 200 troops to Israel to help support and monitor Gaza ceasefire deal.
The biggest “fuck you” would be helping these kids become critical thinkers.
Yeah. But this is what they want, right? Make good teachers hate their jobs, destroy the public school product, and then collect all those private school kickbacks?