HM
@hindumonkey.bsky.social
Movies, Gaming, FPL Shithousery, Cats & Satire. Don't let this bastard game grind you down.
One Love.
One Love.
Pinned
HM
@hindumonkey.bsky.social
· Jul 4
Today we said goodbye to the greatest FPL playing cat that ever lived. My best friend for 16 years. Those of you who have followed me for a while on X will know how big a part of my life he was.
He died in my arms giving me one last kiss. We will never forget him. Our boy. Richard Hawley.
He died in my arms giving me one last kiss. We will never forget him. Our boy. Richard Hawley.
Munoz absence and Rodon on bench makes it a staggering 27 blanks from the last 32 played.
I've dropped from 200k to over 1m in less than a week with more pain to come from Bruno and Mateta owners.
When my luck runs dry you could use it as fucking sandpaper.
I've dropped from 200k to over 1m in less than a week with more pain to come from Bruno and Mateta owners.
When my luck runs dry you could use it as fucking sandpaper.
December 7, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Munoz absence and Rodon on bench makes it a staggering 27 blanks from the last 32 played.
I've dropped from 200k to over 1m in less than a week with more pain to come from Bruno and Mateta owners.
When my luck runs dry you could use it as fucking sandpaper.
I've dropped from 200k to over 1m in less than a week with more pain to come from Bruno and Mateta owners.
When my luck runs dry you could use it as fucking sandpaper.
Chelsea and Liverpool's efforts to try and keep Ruben Amirom in a job is something to be truly admired.
December 6, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Chelsea and Liverpool's efforts to try and keep Ruben Amirom in a job is something to be truly admired.
Yet another FPL horror show disaster class offset with news that Andy Martin benched Foden
December 6, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Yet another FPL horror show disaster class offset with news that Andy Martin benched Foden
They've been unlucky at centre back, but the best thing Arsenal can hope for right now is another injury to Odegaard
Arteta will NEVER stop playing him and the team are better without him in every conceivable way
Another bottle job is loading
Bit earlier at least
Arteta will NEVER stop playing him and the team are better without him in every conceivable way
Another bottle job is loading
Bit earlier at least
December 6, 2025 at 2:29 PM
They've been unlucky at centre back, but the best thing Arsenal can hope for right now is another injury to Odegaard
Arteta will NEVER stop playing him and the team are better without him in every conceivable way
Another bottle job is loading
Bit earlier at least
Arteta will NEVER stop playing him and the team are better without him in every conceivable way
Another bottle job is loading
Bit earlier at least
Up to 23 blanks from the last 26 players I've had in action by the way
An absolutely elite run of incompetence
At this point pretty sure I could go back in time, pick the Brazil 1970 team and see them get knocked out at the group stage
An absolutely elite run of incompetence
At this point pretty sure I could go back in time, pick the Brazil 1970 team and see them get knocked out at the group stage
December 6, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Up to 23 blanks from the last 26 players I've had in action by the way
An absolutely elite run of incompetence
At this point pretty sure I could go back in time, pick the Brazil 1970 team and see them get knocked out at the group stage
An absolutely elite run of incompetence
At this point pretty sure I could go back in time, pick the Brazil 1970 team and see them get knocked out at the group stage
Solid 1 point from Eze. Off to the bookies now to bet my life savings, house and all my organs on an Enzo haul.
Well done owners.
Well done owners.
Benched Enzo. Started Petrovic.
You're all dead to me when this goes wrong.
You're all dead to me when this goes wrong.
Who do I bench to play Thiago...
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
December 6, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Solid 1 point from Eze. Off to the bookies now to bet my life savings, house and all my organs on an Enzo haul.
Well done owners.
Well done owners.
Benched Enzo. Started Petrovic.
You're all dead to me when this goes wrong.
You're all dead to me when this goes wrong.
Who do I bench to play Thiago...
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
December 6, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Benched Enzo. Started Petrovic.
You're all dead to me when this goes wrong.
You're all dead to me when this goes wrong.
Who do I bench to play Thiago...
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
December 5, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Who do I bench to play Thiago...
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
I'm sure nothing can go wrong whilst he's on there
Don't have time to do a fancy graphic this week for @emma1.bsky.social - sell our players anyway.
But I suspect this will be the team below. I keep getting 10/11 right because something random happens every week...
Lammens
Yoro MDL Shaw
Amad Cassie Bruno Dalot
Mbeumo Zirkzee Cunha
But I suspect this will be the team below. I keep getting 10/11 right because something random happens every week...
Lammens
Yoro MDL Shaw
Amad Cassie Bruno Dalot
Mbeumo Zirkzee Cunha
December 5, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Don't have time to do a fancy graphic this week for @emma1.bsky.social - sell our players anyway.
But I suspect this will be the team below. I keep getting 10/11 right because something random happens every week...
Lammens
Yoro MDL Shaw
Amad Cassie Bruno Dalot
Mbeumo Zirkzee Cunha
But I suspect this will be the team below. I keep getting 10/11 right because something random happens every week...
Lammens
Yoro MDL Shaw
Amad Cassie Bruno Dalot
Mbeumo Zirkzee Cunha
Front 3 for Utd was so flat tonight. Can't even blame the manager for that one really. Although negative subs didn't help
Cunha and Mbeumo signed for 100m plus combined and both were absolutely dire tonight
Fernandes doing the work of 3 men just isn't sustainable
So shit up top since Sesko injury
Cunha and Mbeumo signed for 100m plus combined and both were absolutely dire tonight
Fernandes doing the work of 3 men just isn't sustainable
So shit up top since Sesko injury
December 4, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Front 3 for Utd was so flat tonight. Can't even blame the manager for that one really. Although negative subs didn't help
Cunha and Mbeumo signed for 100m plus combined and both were absolutely dire tonight
Fernandes doing the work of 3 men just isn't sustainable
So shit up top since Sesko injury
Cunha and Mbeumo signed for 100m plus combined and both were absolutely dire tonight
Fernandes doing the work of 3 men just isn't sustainable
So shit up top since Sesko injury
19 blanks from my last 22 starters
Generational
Generational
December 4, 2025 at 9:54 PM
19 blanks from my last 22 starters
Generational
Generational
I just want my captain to get a return tomorrow (Mbeumo)
Any return. Im not greedy.
Two of the worst GWs in years. 9 blanks from a free hit that everybody smashed. 9 blanks again so far this GW.
Transfer in was meant to be Van Hecke but went Minteh because of Sarr injury.
Just utterly horrific.
Any return. Im not greedy.
Two of the worst GWs in years. 9 blanks from a free hit that everybody smashed. 9 blanks again so far this GW.
Transfer in was meant to be Van Hecke but went Minteh because of Sarr injury.
Just utterly horrific.
December 3, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I just want my captain to get a return tomorrow (Mbeumo)
Any return. Im not greedy.
Two of the worst GWs in years. 9 blanks from a free hit that everybody smashed. 9 blanks again so far this GW.
Transfer in was meant to be Van Hecke but went Minteh because of Sarr injury.
Just utterly horrific.
Any return. Im not greedy.
Two of the worst GWs in years. 9 blanks from a free hit that everybody smashed. 9 blanks again so far this GW.
Transfer in was meant to be Van Hecke but went Minteh because of Sarr injury.
Just utterly horrific.
You just have to laugh at not captaining Haaland, bottling Foden for a hit and having half your team benched.
Sadly one of those weeks where seasons are made and unmade
We go again next year
Sadly one of those weeks where seasons are made and unmade
We go again next year
December 3, 2025 at 6:21 PM
You just have to laugh at not captaining Haaland, bottling Foden for a hit and having half your team benched.
Sadly one of those weeks where seasons are made and unmade
We go again next year
Sadly one of those weeks where seasons are made and unmade
We go again next year
Waking up with Phil Foden in my team but not his points
December 3, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Waking up with Phil Foden in my team but not his points
17 points for Foden, who is rising tonight and will double rise before the weekend. May even triple.
No brainer to shift Semenyo to him right?
And here I am convincing myself he'll get benched before Madrid
No brainer to shift Semenyo to him right?
And here I am convincing myself he'll get benched before Madrid
So glad I deemed it not worth taking a hit to get Phil Foden
Who is now having his 6 game, yearly spell where he's the best player in world football
Who is now having his 6 game, yearly spell where he's the best player in world football
December 2, 2025 at 10:30 PM
17 points for Foden, who is rising tonight and will double rise before the weekend. May even triple.
No brainer to shift Semenyo to him right?
And here I am convincing myself he'll get benched before Madrid
No brainer to shift Semenyo to him right?
And here I am convincing myself he'll get benched before Madrid
So glad I deemed it not worth taking a hit to get Phil Foden
Who is now having his 6 game, yearly spell where he's the best player in world football
Who is now having his 6 game, yearly spell where he's the best player in world football
December 2, 2025 at 8:38 PM
So glad I deemed it not worth taking a hit to get Phil Foden
Who is now having his 6 game, yearly spell where he's the best player in world football
Who is now having his 6 game, yearly spell where he's the best player in world football
Sarr to Minteh done
Mbeumo fucked again
Still considering Eze to Foden for a hit but not sure I can justify it with Thiago sat there on the bench
Very frustrating that I've used 3 of my last 4 transfers on injuries
Mbeumo fucked again
Still considering Eze to Foden for a hit but not sure I can justify it with Thiago sat there on the bench
Very frustrating that I've used 3 of my last 4 transfers on injuries
December 2, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Sarr to Minteh done
Mbeumo fucked again
Still considering Eze to Foden for a hit but not sure I can justify it with Thiago sat there on the bench
Very frustrating that I've used 3 of my last 4 transfers on injuries
Mbeumo fucked again
Still considering Eze to Foden for a hit but not sure I can justify it with Thiago sat there on the bench
Very frustrating that I've used 3 of my last 4 transfers on injuries
Starmer has been wrong about almost everything. But he is right, finally, about Brexit
Trouble is that his stock is now so low, nobody will listen
Our country not at least rejoining the Custom Union, is like a football team starting with 10 men and a goal down every week and complaining they lose
Trouble is that his stock is now so low, nobody will listen
Our country not at least rejoining the Custom Union, is like a football team starting with 10 men and a goal down every week and complaining they lose
December 2, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Starmer has been wrong about almost everything. But he is right, finally, about Brexit
Trouble is that his stock is now so low, nobody will listen
Our country not at least rejoining the Custom Union, is like a football team starting with 10 men and a goal down every week and complaining they lose
Trouble is that his stock is now so low, nobody will listen
Our country not at least rejoining the Custom Union, is like a football team starting with 10 men and a goal down every week and complaining they lose
Reposted by HM
GW14 anytime scorer % ⚽
Haaland: 58%
Isak: 44%
Woltemade: 44%
Mateta: 43%
Ekitike: 42%
Cunha: 42%
Mbeumo: 42%
Salah: 42%
Zirkee: 40%
Gyokeres: 37%
Gakpo: 36%
Welbeck: 36%
Marmoush: 35%
Merino: 33%
Gordon: 33%
Palmer: 32%
Nketiah: 32%
Delap: 32%
Trossard: 31%
Kroupi: 31%
Igor Jesus: 31%
Saka: 31%
Haaland: 58%
Isak: 44%
Woltemade: 44%
Mateta: 43%
Ekitike: 42%
Cunha: 42%
Mbeumo: 42%
Salah: 42%
Zirkee: 40%
Gyokeres: 37%
Gakpo: 36%
Welbeck: 36%
Marmoush: 35%
Merino: 33%
Gordon: 33%
Palmer: 32%
Nketiah: 32%
Delap: 32%
Trossard: 31%
Kroupi: 31%
Igor Jesus: 31%
Saka: 31%
December 1, 2025 at 10:01 PM
GW14 anytime scorer % ⚽
Haaland: 58%
Isak: 44%
Woltemade: 44%
Mateta: 43%
Ekitike: 42%
Cunha: 42%
Mbeumo: 42%
Salah: 42%
Zirkee: 40%
Gyokeres: 37%
Gakpo: 36%
Welbeck: 36%
Marmoush: 35%
Merino: 33%
Gordon: 33%
Palmer: 32%
Nketiah: 32%
Delap: 32%
Trossard: 31%
Kroupi: 31%
Igor Jesus: 31%
Saka: 31%
Haaland: 58%
Isak: 44%
Woltemade: 44%
Mateta: 43%
Ekitike: 42%
Cunha: 42%
Mbeumo: 42%
Salah: 42%
Zirkee: 40%
Gyokeres: 37%
Gakpo: 36%
Welbeck: 36%
Marmoush: 35%
Merino: 33%
Gordon: 33%
Palmer: 32%
Nketiah: 32%
Delap: 32%
Trossard: 31%
Kroupi: 31%
Igor Jesus: 31%
Saka: 31%
Some of the predictions for midweek minutes are truly comical.
There are no easy games in this league. Arteta isn't gonna risk blowing the title by resting 6 or 7 players against Brentford (who are flying)
Minutes will be managed sure, but I've seen near entire second XIs getting called out 😂
There are no easy games in this league. Arteta isn't gonna risk blowing the title by resting 6 or 7 players against Brentford (who are flying)
Minutes will be managed sure, but I've seen near entire second XIs getting called out 😂
December 1, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Some of the predictions for midweek minutes are truly comical.
There are no easy games in this league. Arteta isn't gonna risk blowing the title by resting 6 or 7 players against Brentford (who are flying)
Minutes will be managed sure, but I've seen near entire second XIs getting called out 😂
There are no easy games in this league. Arteta isn't gonna risk blowing the title by resting 6 or 7 players against Brentford (who are flying)
Minutes will be managed sure, but I've seen near entire second XIs getting called out 😂
If one more person says "free hitters won"
😢
😢
November 30, 2025 at 8:20 PM
If one more person says "free hitters won"
😢
😢
Anybody got a lower Free Hit than 47?
The only saving grace is that I still outscored my existing team.
Horrible horrible week. 30 point negative swing on so many very good players.
Now to try and field a team without a hit in 2 days...
The only saving grace is that I still outscored my existing team.
Horrible horrible week. 30 point negative swing on so many very good players.
Now to try and field a team without a hit in 2 days...
November 30, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Anybody got a lower Free Hit than 47?
The only saving grace is that I still outscored my existing team.
Horrible horrible week. 30 point negative swing on so many very good players.
Now to try and field a team without a hit in 2 days...
The only saving grace is that I still outscored my existing team.
Horrible horrible week. 30 point negative swing on so many very good players.
Now to try and field a team without a hit in 2 days...
Amirom > Hindu Monkey
November 30, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Amirom > Hindu Monkey
Given I owned Thiago already. It's impossible to see how this Free Hit could have gone worse.
Will likely be 15-20 down on actual team with two of them now injured 😂
Will likely be 15-20 down on actual team with two of them now injured 😂
November 30, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Given I owned Thiago already. It's impossible to see how this Free Hit could have gone worse.
Will likely be 15-20 down on actual team with two of them now injured 😂
Will likely be 15-20 down on actual team with two of them now injured 😂
As I said. I just had to buy him to make it actually happen 💀
November 30, 2025 at 10:56 AM
As I said. I just had to buy him to make it actually happen 💀