Moss
@hedonicflow.substack.com
Helping you build sustainable relationships within and without
1:1 coaching slots available 💙
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www.hedonicflow.com
1:1 coaching slots available 💙
free newsletter 👇
www.hedonicflow.com
Leaving and cutting someone out entirely after a breakup isn't always possible, so what does it look like to de-escalate a personal relationship instead?
Let's talk about it. I'll go first, in my new post on substonk. You know where to find 🔗 ❤️🩹
Let's talk about it. I'll go first, in my new post on substonk. You know where to find 🔗 ❤️🩹
January 11, 2026 at 8:59 AM
Leaving and cutting someone out entirely after a breakup isn't always possible, so what does it look like to de-escalate a personal relationship instead?
Let's talk about it. I'll go first, in my new post on substonk. You know where to find 🔗 ❤️🩹
Let's talk about it. I'll go first, in my new post on substonk. You know where to find 🔗 ❤️🩹
If you like a healthy mix of mental health discussion and shitposting, you'll probably like what I've got going on
January 11, 2026 at 8:57 AM
If you like a healthy mix of mental health discussion and shitposting, you'll probably like what I've got going on
I'm only frustrated by strangers on the internet when they remind me of who I used to be in ways I haven't yet learned to be softer about
January 11, 2026 at 8:57 AM
I'm only frustrated by strangers on the internet when they remind me of who I used to be in ways I haven't yet learned to be softer about
I am made of little bits and pieces of everything and everyone I have ever loved
January 11, 2026 at 8:57 AM
I am made of little bits and pieces of everything and everyone I have ever loved
So I'm hearing from my algorithm that being in a healthy relationship for the first time involves a lot of crying? Something about how the nervous system responds to finally being treated better?
Looking forward to that big time. Crying is super good for you - and for a good cause??? Absolutely 💯
Looking forward to that big time. Crying is super good for you - and for a good cause??? Absolutely 💯
January 11, 2026 at 8:57 AM
So I'm hearing from my algorithm that being in a healthy relationship for the first time involves a lot of crying? Something about how the nervous system responds to finally being treated better?
Looking forward to that big time. Crying is super good for you - and for a good cause??? Absolutely 💯
Looking forward to that big time. Crying is super good for you - and for a good cause??? Absolutely 💯
After my 11 year situationship went belly up late last year, I'm understandably pretty wary of romance, relationships, etc but I'm still overall optimistic.
I'm sure as soon as I get a chance to build something with a healthier person I'll be all in again.
I'm sure as soon as I get a chance to build something with a healthier person I'll be all in again.
January 11, 2026 at 8:57 AM
After my 11 year situationship went belly up late last year, I'm understandably pretty wary of romance, relationships, etc but I'm still overall optimistic.
I'm sure as soon as I get a chance to build something with a healthier person I'll be all in again.
I'm sure as soon as I get a chance to build something with a healthier person I'll be all in again.
🫶🏻 New blog post just dropped 🫶🏻
The Ballad of Don't Do Invisible Labor in Your Relationships is live on substonk!
👁👄👁
#mentalhealth #invisiblelabor #relationships
The Ballad of Don't Do Invisible Labor in Your Relationships is live on substonk!
👁👄👁
#mentalhealth #invisiblelabor #relationships
December 30, 2025 at 7:54 AM
🫶🏻 New blog post just dropped 🫶🏻
The Ballad of Don't Do Invisible Labor in Your Relationships is live on substonk!
👁👄👁
#mentalhealth #invisiblelabor #relationships
The Ballad of Don't Do Invisible Labor in Your Relationships is live on substonk!
👁👄👁
#mentalhealth #invisiblelabor #relationships
Learning to love someone in a language they can understand is one of the most expansive processes a soul can go through
December 16, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Learning to love someone in a language they can understand is one of the most expansive processes a soul can go through
If you can't face going vegan or plant-based because you like specific non-vegan foods too much, you can just eat vegan outside of those foods and you'll still be making a difference.
December 16, 2025 at 7:39 PM
If you can't face going vegan or plant-based because you like specific non-vegan foods too much, you can just eat vegan outside of those foods and you'll still be making a difference.
Eldest kids are the guinea pigs for parenting. They get the most unhealed, starry-eyed, over-confident version of a parent trying to be better than their parents were.
December 16, 2025 at 8:12 AM
Eldest kids are the guinea pigs for parenting. They get the most unhealed, starry-eyed, over-confident version of a parent trying to be better than their parents were.
Grew up being called an "old soul" and "mature for my age" and I was miserable the whole time. Now I'm a large toddler w/ colorful clothes, giant plushies, unbreakable whimsy, and infinitely more joy who can also, secondarily, do taxes/work a job.
1/
1/
December 13, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Grew up being called an "old soul" and "mature for my age" and I was miserable the whole time. Now I'm a large toddler w/ colorful clothes, giant plushies, unbreakable whimsy, and infinitely more joy who can also, secondarily, do taxes/work a job.
1/
1/
I've never really wanted to use a picture of a lover as a phone background but if I had a shot of them looking at me with barely contained lust I'd be so tempted
December 9, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I've never really wanted to use a picture of a lover as a phone background but if I had a shot of them looking at me with barely contained lust I'd be so tempted
I knew it was really, truly over with my ex when we tried cuddling a couple weeks after things ended and they didn't smell like "mine" anymore. Not like someone else, just like our microbiomes no longer fit together. No longer connected.
1/2
1/2
December 8, 2025 at 9:17 PM
I knew it was really, truly over with my ex when we tried cuddling a couple weeks after things ended and they didn't smell like "mine" anymore. Not like someone else, just like our microbiomes no longer fit together. No longer connected.
1/2
1/2
You have the right to be wrong and to make mistakes. You were born incapable and every attempt to become capable so far has involved failing, fixing, healing, and growing. Things haven't changed just because you're incapable at different things now.
1/2
1/2
December 8, 2025 at 4:43 AM
You have the right to be wrong and to make mistakes. You were born incapable and every attempt to become capable so far has involved failing, fixing, healing, and growing. Things haven't changed just because you're incapable at different things now.
1/2
1/2
Never entertaining shame about things and people I love again
I was born to be chalant
I was born to be chalant
December 7, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Never entertaining shame about things and people I love again
I was born to be chalant
I was born to be chalant
People in their 20s all try to act like they're in their 30s (more mature), but people in their 30s just want to be silly again
Fight the urge to dull yourself
Figure out how to adult without losing your whimsy and you'll be so far ahead of the game
Fight the urge to dull yourself
Figure out how to adult without losing your whimsy and you'll be so far ahead of the game
December 7, 2025 at 8:43 PM
People in their 20s all try to act like they're in their 30s (more mature), but people in their 30s just want to be silly again
Fight the urge to dull yourself
Figure out how to adult without losing your whimsy and you'll be so far ahead of the game
Fight the urge to dull yourself
Figure out how to adult without losing your whimsy and you'll be so far ahead of the game
I would never want my lovers to sacrifice their passions, hobbies, careers for romance. It would feel like a sacrifice for both of us. We'd always wonder what would have been if they'd gone all in. The joy, the growth, the fulfillment.
December 7, 2025 at 8:39 AM
I would never want my lovers to sacrifice their passions, hobbies, careers for romance. It would feel like a sacrifice for both of us. We'd always wonder what would have been if they'd gone all in. The joy, the growth, the fulfillment.
If you lie to me directly, repairing that trust requires being honest directly.
I spent my whole life begging for honesty, real connection, from people who claimed to care about me. I'm off my knees now.
I can handle any truth. I can't stand the crazy feeling bred by mixed signals.
I spent my whole life begging for honesty, real connection, from people who claimed to care about me. I'm off my knees now.
I can handle any truth. I can't stand the crazy feeling bred by mixed signals.
December 7, 2025 at 7:37 AM
If you lie to me directly, repairing that trust requires being honest directly.
I spent my whole life begging for honesty, real connection, from people who claimed to care about me. I'm off my knees now.
I can handle any truth. I can't stand the crazy feeling bred by mixed signals.
I spent my whole life begging for honesty, real connection, from people who claimed to care about me. I'm off my knees now.
I can handle any truth. I can't stand the crazy feeling bred by mixed signals.
In a moment that passes too quickly, I realise I want desperately to be able to look at you like this every day. Someday I might not feel this way - such is the nature of feelings, brains, seasons, familiarity, security - but I intend to fully enjoy this feeling for as long as it lasts
December 7, 2025 at 6:50 AM
In a moment that passes too quickly, I realise I want desperately to be able to look at you like this every day. Someday I might not feel this way - such is the nature of feelings, brains, seasons, familiarity, security - but I intend to fully enjoy this feeling for as long as it lasts
I want any pets I have moving forward to have chosen me.
We had pets that didn't want to live with us growing up. Never again.
We had pets that didn't want to live with us growing up. Never again.
December 5, 2025 at 8:22 AM
I want any pets I have moving forward to have chosen me.
We had pets that didn't want to live with us growing up. Never again.
We had pets that didn't want to live with us growing up. Never again.
Hot take:
Intense arousal is a form of inebriation and can make consent invalid in some cases just like with drugs or alcohol
Intense arousal is a form of inebriation and can make consent invalid in some cases just like with drugs or alcohol
December 5, 2025 at 8:06 AM
Hot take:
Intense arousal is a form of inebriation and can make consent invalid in some cases just like with drugs or alcohol
Intense arousal is a form of inebriation and can make consent invalid in some cases just like with drugs or alcohol
I really, really like saying nice things about the people in my life, but lying makes my skin hurt so if you give me a disproportionately negative experience my hands are sort of tied.
December 5, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I really, really like saying nice things about the people in my life, but lying makes my skin hurt so if you give me a disproportionately negative experience my hands are sort of tied.
Desire isn't actually a problem or a punishment
It's just a feeling
It's just a feeling
December 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Desire isn't actually a problem or a punishment
It's just a feeling
It's just a feeling
Any belief system can be turned rancid in service of avoiding accountability and personal growth
December 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Any belief system can be turned rancid in service of avoiding accountability and personal growth
It's not fair that it takes months or years to move on from someone who didn't even need the relationship to end before moving on
December 4, 2025 at 2:09 AM
It's not fair that it takes months or years to move on from someone who didn't even need the relationship to end before moving on