Don't let the title fool you. Not much of anything happened this Christmas or last. Only 70 minutes long but felt like 7 hours. Even the actors sounded bored most of it.
I did, however, enjoy seeing the one girl get drowned to death from having her head submerged underwater for exactly 3 seconds.
I did, however, enjoy seeing the one girl get drowned to death from having her head submerged underwater for exactly 3 seconds.
November 24, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Don't let the title fool you. Not much of anything happened this Christmas or last. Only 70 minutes long but felt like 7 hours. Even the actors sounded bored most of it.
I did, however, enjoy seeing the one girl get drowned to death from having her head submerged underwater for exactly 3 seconds.
I did, however, enjoy seeing the one girl get drowned to death from having her head submerged underwater for exactly 3 seconds.
Hilarious The Asylum of all companies turned out to be the one with the sense to say, "Hey, what if we used this popular public domain childrens IP to actually make a movie for children instead of a gory slasher flick?"
And then also turned around and cast Bruce Campbell as the voice of Owl. 🫡
And then also turned around and cast Bruce Campbell as the voice of Owl. 🫡
November 22, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Hilarious The Asylum of all companies turned out to be the one with the sense to say, "Hey, what if we used this popular public domain childrens IP to actually make a movie for children instead of a gory slasher flick?"
And then also turned around and cast Bruce Campbell as the voice of Owl. 🫡
And then also turned around and cast Bruce Campbell as the voice of Owl. 🫡
Sisu: Road to Revenge
AKA
Terrifier Rambo
First hour is essentially Rambo III: Fury Road before turning into Under Siege 2: Art the Clown Territory; boasting the most preposterous Itchy & Scratchy levels of ultraviolent action. If that doesn't sell you then this ain't for you.
AKA
Terrifier Rambo
First hour is essentially Rambo III: Fury Road before turning into Under Siege 2: Art the Clown Territory; boasting the most preposterous Itchy & Scratchy levels of ultraviolent action. If that doesn't sell you then this ain't for you.
November 18, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Sisu: Road to Revenge
AKA
Terrifier Rambo
First hour is essentially Rambo III: Fury Road before turning into Under Siege 2: Art the Clown Territory; boasting the most preposterous Itchy & Scratchy levels of ultraviolent action. If that doesn't sell you then this ain't for you.
AKA
Terrifier Rambo
First hour is essentially Rambo III: Fury Road before turning into Under Siege 2: Art the Clown Territory; boasting the most preposterous Itchy & Scratchy levels of ultraviolent action. If that doesn't sell you then this ain't for you.
DEATHSTALKER is a campy fun, creative, gory, monster-filled throwback to 1980's sword & fantasy films. Conan the Destroyer by way of Brian Yuzna and Screaming Mad George. Though, it's odd seeing a Deathstalker film not just devoid of T&A, but determined to shun any sex appeal altogether. ***1/2
November 11, 2025 at 10:49 PM
DEATHSTALKER is a campy fun, creative, gory, monster-filled throwback to 1980's sword & fantasy films. Conan the Destroyer by way of Brian Yuzna and Screaming Mad George. Though, it's odd seeing a Deathstalker film not just devoid of T&A, but determined to shun any sex appeal altogether. ***1/2
Somehow the Predator discourse seems to have shifted from a bunch of angry dudes yelling about how Badlands is woke, feminized, queer, DEI, Disney-fied bullshit to a bunch of horny dudes like, "Whoa! How am I just now noticing Elle Fanning has a great ass?"
November 10, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Somehow the Predator discourse seems to have shifted from a bunch of angry dudes yelling about how Badlands is woke, feminized, queer, DEI, Disney-fied bullshit to a bunch of horny dudes like, "Whoa! How am I just now noticing Elle Fanning has a great ass?"
Hoping Predator Badlands is a huge hit so I can pitch my Alien film about a kindly Xenomorph that teams up with the human survivor he popped out of to escape a planet overrun by violent Weyland-Yutani synths being controlled by an Engineer plotting to purge the human race.
November 5, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Hoping Predator Badlands is a huge hit so I can pitch my Alien film about a kindly Xenomorph that teams up with the human survivor he popped out of to escape a planet overrun by violent Weyland-Yutani synths being controlled by an Engineer plotting to purge the human race.
The simple genius of the original Predator was that it wasn't a noble savage hunting by some traditional moral code; the Predator was a total asshole using superior technology to kill an already physically inferior species and got really pissed off when one actually put up a real fight.
November 5, 2025 at 7:55 PM
The simple genius of the original Predator was that it wasn't a noble savage hunting by some traditional moral code; the Predator was a total asshole using superior technology to kill an already physically inferior species and got really pissed off when one actually put up a real fight.
Predator Wastelands isn't a total waste. Cast is game. You can sense the people making it were trying. Unfortunately, it's a sci-fi action movie that can only afford the barest minimum sci-fi action so we get yet another Asylum fili(mock)buster that is mostly just endless talking about the plot.
November 5, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Predator Wastelands isn't a total waste. Cast is game. You can sense the people making it were trying. Unfortunately, it's a sci-fi action movie that can only afford the barest minimum sci-fi action so we get yet another Asylum fili(mock)buster that is mostly just endless talking about the plot.
Would you believe me if I told you the new Tubi original horror flick MATCH is actually wildly entertaining?
Kinda dark
Kinda shocking
Kinda gross
Kinda dumb
Kinda heartfelt
Kinda sleazy
Kinda cheesy
Kinda scary
Kinda fun
Kinda unpredictable
Go in blind.
***1/2
Kinda dark
Kinda shocking
Kinda gross
Kinda dumb
Kinda heartfelt
Kinda sleazy
Kinda cheesy
Kinda scary
Kinda fun
Kinda unpredictable
Go in blind.
***1/2
October 30, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Would you believe me if I told you the new Tubi original horror flick MATCH is actually wildly entertaining?
Kinda dark
Kinda shocking
Kinda gross
Kinda dumb
Kinda heartfelt
Kinda sleazy
Kinda cheesy
Kinda scary
Kinda fun
Kinda unpredictable
Go in blind.
***1/2
Kinda dark
Kinda shocking
Kinda gross
Kinda dumb
Kinda heartfelt
Kinda sleazy
Kinda cheesy
Kinda scary
Kinda fun
Kinda unpredictable
Go in blind.
***1/2
The Asylum counterprogramming Badlands with their own Predator/Dune hybrid mockbuster.
October 29, 2025 at 10:26 PM
The Asylum counterprogramming Badlands with their own Predator/Dune hybrid mockbuster.
Frankenstein is pure Del Toro. Often masterful. Needlessly self indulgent at times. Overly long. Much of the Mia Goth stuff didn't need to be there unless he was doing Bride of Frankenstein. Wish the second half was as absolutely brilliant as the first. Outstanding performance by Oscar Isaac.
October 29, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Frankenstein is pure Del Toro. Often masterful. Needlessly self indulgent at times. Overly long. Much of the Mia Goth stuff didn't need to be there unless he was doing Bride of Frankenstein. Wish the second half was as absolutely brilliant as the first. Outstanding performance by Oscar Isaac.
A HOUSE OF DYNAMITE: What if we remade Fail Safe but made everything more ambiguous and then didn't even bother giving it a proper resolution?
October 27, 2025 at 7:37 PM
A HOUSE OF DYNAMITE: What if we remade Fail Safe but made everything more ambiguous and then didn't even bother giving it a proper resolution?
The Substance meets The Wasp Woman in The Lobster Lady-- I mean Shell. Really wanted to like this more than I did. Starts strong before soon developing a nagging sense of "Would you get on with it already?" Then goes full b-movie silly for what still felt like kind of an unsatisfying climax. **1/2
October 18, 2025 at 8:25 PM
The Substance meets The Wasp Woman in The Lobster Lady-- I mean Shell. Really wanted to like this more than I did. Starts strong before soon developing a nagging sense of "Would you get on with it already?" Then goes full b-movie silly for what still felt like kind of an unsatisfying climax. **1/2
A sequel to a 23 year old movie most hated and you don't even own the rights to the title anymore so you have to explain on the poster what it's meant to be a sequel to. Good luck with that.
October 17, 2025 at 6:38 PM
A sequel to a 23 year old movie most hated and you don't even own the rights to the title anymore so you have to explain on the poster what it's meant to be a sequel to. Good luck with that.
Landsharks stalk British women in toxic-laden bikinis. Bikini-sniffing dolt goes insane from the chemicals. Another wants to shoot his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach. Takes itself weirdly serious. Not one scene set in the water. If it wasn't so damn dull it might have been something.
October 15, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Landsharks stalk British women in toxic-laden bikinis. Bikini-sniffing dolt goes insane from the chemicals. Another wants to shoot his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach. Takes itself weirdly serious. Not one scene set in the water. If it wasn't so damn dull it might have been something.
One Battle After Another: Straight-faced absurdist take on the hypocrisy of the far right and preening theatricality of many left-wingers centered around a teenager caught in between. Not entirely sure what to make of parts of it; most definitely brilliant at times, particularly Penn's performance.
October 10, 2025 at 6:31 PM
One Battle After Another: Straight-faced absurdist take on the hypocrisy of the far right and preening theatricality of many left-wingers centered around a teenager caught in between. Not entirely sure what to make of parts of it; most definitely brilliant at times, particularly Penn's performance.
This article's accompanying image is so ironic. The first M3GAN was about the threat of AI and was a big hit. M3GAN 2.0 then told us that same AI is pretty cool and can be used to help us and the movie BOMBED.
Jason Blum says Hollywood should 'embrace AI' and viewers 'don't care if what they’re looking at is AI"
"it’s here to stay. It’s very important to use it ethically and legally, and for studios and guilds to protect the copyright of the artists"
(via Variety)
"it’s here to stay. It’s very important to use it ethically and legally, and for studios and guilds to protect the copyright of the artists"
(via Variety)
October 9, 2025 at 7:23 PM
This article's accompanying image is so ironic. The first M3GAN was about the threat of AI and was a big hit. M3GAN 2.0 then told us that same AI is pretty cool and can be used to help us and the movie BOMBED.
Reposted by Scott Foy
It’s kind of crazy that Nazis and the KKK have recently become controversial bad guys because a bunch of bitter online dorks assumed it was about them
Ubisoft canceled an ‘ASSASSINS CREED’ game set in the post-Civil War era
• Featured a Black Assassin who was formerly a slave
• Players would fight the emerging KKK
• Leadership canceled it after concerns with U.S. political climate & Yasuke backlash
(Source: www.gamefile.news/p/scoop-ubis...)
• Featured a Black Assassin who was formerly a slave
• Players would fight the emerging KKK
• Leadership canceled it after concerns with U.S. political climate & Yasuke backlash
(Source: www.gamefile.news/p/scoop-ubis...)
October 9, 2025 at 3:55 PM
It’s kind of crazy that Nazis and the KKK have recently become controversial bad guys because a bunch of bitter online dorks assumed it was about them
The Smashing Machine is such an odd film. Johnson is good, but in trying to avoid being a conventional sports biopic, what Safdie has made is neither a crowd pleaser nor Oscar bait. I watched passively, unengaged with a good chunk of it. The most A24 sports film possible.
October 4, 2025 at 9:42 PM
The Smashing Machine is such an odd film. Johnson is good, but in trying to avoid being a conventional sports biopic, what Safdie has made is neither a crowd pleaser nor Oscar bait. I watched passively, unengaged with a good chunk of it. The most A24 sports film possible.
HIM aka ROSEMARY'S BRADY
What if STARRY EYES developed CTE?
No idea what I just watched but it was definitely something. Just not sure a lot of those somethings actually made any sense.
Marlon Wayans is pretty great.
The ending left me thinking, "Really? That's it?"
**1/2
What if STARRY EYES developed CTE?
No idea what I just watched but it was definitely something. Just not sure a lot of those somethings actually made any sense.
Marlon Wayans is pretty great.
The ending left me thinking, "Really? That's it?"
**1/2
September 23, 2025 at 8:34 PM
HIM aka ROSEMARY'S BRADY
What if STARRY EYES developed CTE?
No idea what I just watched but it was definitely something. Just not sure a lot of those somethings actually made any sense.
Marlon Wayans is pretty great.
The ending left me thinking, "Really? That's it?"
**1/2
What if STARRY EYES developed CTE?
No idea what I just watched but it was definitely something. Just not sure a lot of those somethings actually made any sense.
Marlon Wayans is pretty great.
The ending left me thinking, "Really? That's it?"
**1/2
66 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Nothing much happens and even less makes sense. Contrary to the artwork, there are no helicopters or cities. Heck, there's barely even a hydra. Boring as hell. Rating it one star because, if nothing else and there was nothing else, it took itself seriously.
September 22, 2025 at 6:24 AM
66 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Nothing much happens and even less makes sense. Contrary to the artwork, there are no helicopters or cities. Heck, there's barely even a hydra. Boring as hell. Rating it one star because, if nothing else and there was nothing else, it took itself seriously.
UT LAN: THE GUARDIAN DEMON (2025): Everything that happens in this film could have been avoided if only rich people in Vietnam could use a bank like normal folk instead of locking all their gold in an underground vault guarded by a malformed demon they spawned via human sacrifice.
TWO STARS
TWO STARS
September 11, 2025 at 5:00 PM
UT LAN: THE GUARDIAN DEMON (2025): Everything that happens in this film could have been avoided if only rich people in Vietnam could use a bank like normal folk instead of locking all their gold in an underground vault guarded by a malformed demon they spawned via human sacrifice.
TWO STARS
TWO STARS
Odd movie. Bland, almost family-friendly drama about a father/daughter protecting their safari rescue from criminals trying to steal their newly arrived hippos. Except momma hippo gorily bites off limbs, crushes skulls, and squishes folk to death - not all of whom are bad guys.
September 3, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Odd movie. Bland, almost family-friendly drama about a father/daughter protecting their safari rescue from criminals trying to steal their newly arrived hippos. Except momma hippo gorily bites off limbs, crushes skulls, and squishes folk to death - not all of whom are bad guys.
Jason looks like Charlie Brown cosplaying as him, and why does Michael appear to be smiling after having his eyes shot out?
September 2, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Jason looks like Charlie Brown cosplaying as him, and why does Michael appear to be smiling after having his eyes shot out?