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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌

@emosquid23.bsky.social

37 followers 97 following 1.2K posts

Shitposter and pornographer. Shitpornographer. Not like that tho 43m - He/Him - Married/Not Looking - MDNI 🔞 Scripts: https://www.reddit.com/u/emosquid23/s/9dqe6IeQbH

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

Catching a virgin in a shoebox and humanely releasing it outside

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

I don’t think they should be KILLED, necessarily. Is there a Virgin Maimer Sweater?

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

I wouldn’t say I’m TERMINALLY online. I can still beat this thing

*my doctor is behind me shaking his head*

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

There should be more websites specifically for deviants. I only know of the one. What if I have to do my taxes

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 6h

I imagine you can, but for the purposes of this high-concept horror movie, it’d be like… cursed paper. Haunting, slow-tempo cover of Fortunate Son playing over the trailer

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 8h

Maybe he could be really scared because he’s finding ominous portents of the future in his turds? I dunno, just bouncing some ideas around the room

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 18h

*meeting a guy named Reuben*

Oh, like the sandwich

*meeting a guy named Angry Whopper*

Oh, like the sandwich

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 18h

If your name doesn’t make any fucken sense in your new city, you should change it. Los Angeles has a problem with this

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 18h

Dodgers? Oh yeah, what are they Dodging? Child support payments???

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 18h

I Have No Mouse, and I Must Cheese 🧀🐁

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 18h

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Beatbox

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 19h

Proud to cut the ribbon on the world’s first standardized testing center/casino, Proctor & Gamble

*an aide whispers in my ear*

Being told I’m gonna have to change the name

Reposted by Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌

The Onion @theonion.com · 20h

Injured Player Gives Thumbs-Down While Being Carted Off Field

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 21h

*showing up to the event in the same skin suit as Buffalo Bill*

Well, that’s just perfect. One of us is gonna have to change

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 23h

Me: Not sure I should’ve eaten all these Cadmium Creme Eggs.

RFK Jr: It’s fine. You’re fine.

Me: It’s October, also, so…

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 23h

1980’s housewives sure do be loving bon-bons, am I right?

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 23h

My stand-up routine: Folks, back in my day, when someone said “get the lead out,” they wanted you to hurry up! Nowadays, it’s just an ignored plea from the toothless and gutted FDA!

Let’s see, what else, what else…

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 1d

Some are arguing that this is a type of trick, and to them I say: I’ll see you in court

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 1d

No tricks, no treats, but a secret third thing (bath bomb full of tarantulas)

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 1d

Need to figure out a way to pivot to Shedd’s Spread Country Crock Stu Pickles. Fun. Flirty. Spreadable. 😏

youtu.be/LTZDy2t1q1k?...

Shedd's Spread Country Crock Margarine ad from 1993

YouTube video by OldCommercials4u2

youtu.be

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 1d

My vibe at all times is Stu Pickles making chocolate pudding for Angelica at 4 am

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 1d

Not now, kitten, Daddy’s beating another tired joke format into the ground

Reposted by Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌

Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · Oct 31

do you ever throw all your blood in the garbage just to flex on dracula

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Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 1d

The Nostalgia Haver: When I was a child, everything was good, and cool. Now that I’m an old man, everything is bad, and shitty.

Benjamin Button: Gonna have to disagree with you on this one, playboy

Ink-U-Bus 🫟 🚌 @emosquid23.bsky.social · 1d

I THINK this is real and not imagined, but I’m pretty sure Stuart Scott used to say “livin’ deliciously at the baggie,” and I would like you to imagine Black Phillip from The VVitch saying that. Okay, thank you, have a good day