Elmtree
@elmtree.bsky.social
live in Chicago, love the Tigers & have seen them play in 24(+1) parks! (also cheer for the Nats bc love) Officially married!!!
I folded the laundry that doesn’t get hung up and would like someone else to carry it upstairs (basement to second floor - steep stairs).
Oh, and to change the lightbulb in my closet so I can put said clothes away.
Oh, and to change the lightbulb in my closet so I can put said clothes away.
December 12, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I folded the laundry that doesn’t get hung up and would like someone else to carry it upstairs (basement to second floor - steep stairs).
Oh, and to change the lightbulb in my closet so I can put said clothes away.
Oh, and to change the lightbulb in my closet so I can put said clothes away.
Fifth. Cake. About to be the sixth, and my god. It’s heavy and hard to turn. Yet I persist.
December 11, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Fifth. Cake. About to be the sixth, and my god. It’s heavy and hard to turn. Yet I persist.
Watching Colbert, and he has Taylor Swift on, and Jesus Christ she says like a LOT. I’m fine with it normally, but queso christo find a new word.
December 11, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Watching Colbert, and he has Taylor Swift on, and Jesus Christ she says like a LOT. I’m fine with it normally, but queso christo find a new word.
Reposted by Elmtree
hellooo check out my festive wreath collection in the shop! these make great christmas ornaments but are also good as just regular decorations.
here's the collection: nora.jewelry/collections/...
here's the collection: nora.jewelry/collections/...
December 9, 2025 at 10:08 PM
hellooo check out my festive wreath collection in the shop! these make great christmas ornaments but are also good as just regular decorations.
here's the collection: nora.jewelry/collections/...
here's the collection: nora.jewelry/collections/...
😬
@JeffPassan tweeted
Closer Kyle Finnegan and the Detroit Tigers are in agreement on a two-year, $19 million contract, pending physical, sources tell ESPN. Finnegan was excellent after joining the Tigers at the trade deadline and returns on a multiyear deal. First on the agreement: @ByRobertMurray.
Closer Kyle Finnegan and the Detroit Tigers are in agreement on a two-year, $19 million contract, pending physical, sources tell ESPN. Finnegan was excellent after joining the Tigers at the trade deadline and returns on a multiyear deal. First on the agreement: @ByRobertMurray.
December 10, 2025 at 4:40 AM
😬
I love this scarf pattern so much. The blue is for a secret Santa, and the green is for the wife if she wants it (if not, it’s probably up for grabs).
December 10, 2025 at 4:34 AM
I love this scarf pattern so much. The blue is for a secret Santa, and the green is for the wife if she wants it (if not, it’s probably up for grabs).
Something absolutely nobody had mentioned?
Your labia shrink and can disappear. Same with your clitoris.
I mentioned it to my doctor, who is normally awesome about this stuff, and she was like “oh yeah, that happens.” Estrogen cream seems to be helping, but shrinking labia in the Sahara is no fun.
Your labia shrink and can disappear. Same with your clitoris.
I mentioned it to my doctor, who is normally awesome about this stuff, and she was like “oh yeah, that happens.” Estrogen cream seems to be helping, but shrinking labia in the Sahara is no fun.
If they hadn’t burned all the witches and midwives back in the day, we’d probably know more about perimenopause and menopause right now. We know fuck all about a condition that half the population goes through because men are a bunch of plonkers*
*not all men**
**but most of them
*not all men**
**but most of them
December 9, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Something absolutely nobody had mentioned?
Your labia shrink and can disappear. Same with your clitoris.
I mentioned it to my doctor, who is normally awesome about this stuff, and she was like “oh yeah, that happens.” Estrogen cream seems to be helping, but shrinking labia in the Sahara is no fun.
Your labia shrink and can disappear. Same with your clitoris.
I mentioned it to my doctor, who is normally awesome about this stuff, and she was like “oh yeah, that happens.” Estrogen cream seems to be helping, but shrinking labia in the Sahara is no fun.
Hey my people over 40 who do skin care - help me out with my neck. I’m losing some weight (not illness, intended), and wrinkles get hidden in fat. What can I use so I don’t end up with a complete turkey waddle?
December 9, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Hey my people over 40 who do skin care - help me out with my neck. I’m losing some weight (not illness, intended), and wrinkles get hidden in fat. What can I use so I don’t end up with a complete turkey waddle?
LOU WHITAKER EXISTS, YOU MORONS
December 8, 2025 at 1:25 AM
LOU WHITAKER EXISTS, YOU MORONS
Can anyone recommend a book about rules for soccer that’s easy to understand for fans? Preferably written by a woman? My search is not bringing up what I’m looking for at all.
December 7, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Can anyone recommend a book about rules for soccer that’s easy to understand for fans? Preferably written by a woman? My search is not bringing up what I’m looking for at all.
The news said 1-3 more inches of snow, so why the fuck did I walk outside to 5-6 inches of fresh heavy snow? 😩😩😩
December 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
The news said 1-3 more inches of snow, so why the fuck did I walk outside to 5-6 inches of fresh heavy snow? 😩😩😩
Oh my fucking god why is it snowing again
December 7, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Oh my fucking god why is it snowing again
Today was a little bonkers since the tv threw a loop into our plans, but we made a delicious dinner! Pork chops in the cast iron are just so good.
December 7, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Today was a little bonkers since the tv threw a loop into our plans, but we made a delicious dinner! Pork chops in the cast iron are just so good.
New tv is a fire tv and doesn’t play nice with our Roku, so now we ordered a new Roku bc the fire tv interface blows.
December 6, 2025 at 10:23 PM
New tv is a fire tv and doesn’t play nice with our Roku, so now we ordered a new Roku bc the fire tv interface blows.
New one works! Tested it before we even got it all the way out of the box
10/10 customer service at Best Buy. Now to hope this one is good.
We got a new tv last weekend. Go to set it up today, and the screen is fucked, straight out of the box. 😩
December 6, 2025 at 9:03 PM
New one works! Tested it before we even got it all the way out of the box
10/10 customer service at Best Buy. Now to hope this one is good.
We got a new tv last weekend. Go to set it up today, and the screen is fucked, straight out of the box. 😩
December 6, 2025 at 8:10 PM
10/10 customer service at Best Buy. Now to hope this one is good.
We got a new tv last weekend. Go to set it up today, and the screen is fucked, straight out of the box. 😩
December 6, 2025 at 7:11 PM
We got a new tv last weekend. Go to set it up today, and the screen is fucked, straight out of the box. 😩
To be fair we got our Christmas tenderloin, but queso christo did Costco have a cover charge today
December 6, 2025 at 4:41 PM
To be fair we got our Christmas tenderloin, but queso christo did Costco have a cover charge today
I did my stretchies after clearing some ice off our sidewalk. I’m fucking tired of winter, and it’s not even winter yet. 😩
BEEP BOOP THIS IS NORA'S AUTOMATED STRETCH CHECK. today is Friday. everyone do your stretchies. 💪🤖
December 5, 2025 at 8:42 PM
I did my stretchies after clearing some ice off our sidewalk. I’m fucking tired of winter, and it’s not even winter yet. 😩
This is Grayce. She’s not terribly fond of us, but she likes the food and the fact that it’s warm inside.
December 4, 2025 at 7:27 PM
This is Grayce. She’s not terribly fond of us, but she likes the food and the fact that it’s warm inside.
I burned my wrist with hot oil when the butter splashed into the pan, but this shrimp scampi was DELICIOUS. My wrist hurts though
December 4, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I burned my wrist with hot oil when the butter splashed into the pan, but this shrimp scampi was DELICIOUS. My wrist hurts though
LMAO my wife just turned The Hook off on the radio “so we don’t get doxxed.” 🤣🤣🤣 @nasboat.org
December 3, 2025 at 11:11 PM
LMAO my wife just turned The Hook off on the radio “so we don’t get doxxed.” 🤣🤣🤣 @nasboat.org
J took Mr. Floops for a walk, and he was not pleased with the snow.
December 3, 2025 at 2:45 PM
J took Mr. Floops for a walk, and he was not pleased with the snow.
Taking a break from the blanket to work on a scarf for a secret Santa.
December 3, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Taking a break from the blanket to work on a scarf for a secret Santa.