wild tofurkey 🥃
@eeyikes.bsky.social
she/her • Georgia, US
Mouthy spinster. Cursed to regret everything I’ve ever posted, but tragically unable to shut up.
Mouthy spinster. Cursed to regret everything I’ve ever posted, but tragically unable to shut up.
Pinned
wild tofurkey 🥃
@eeyikes.bsky.social
· Sep 7
The only time a pronoun does any actual harm in this world is when a chatbot is allowed to refer to itself using “I”.
In heaven nothing is ever blurry
November 26, 2025 at 1:41 AM
In heaven nothing is ever blurry
I think of this sketch multiple times a year. More often since bsky came along.
“Looking like you’ve got the most refined palate in the world is just a question of turning your nose up at pretty much everything.”
“Looking like you’ve got the most refined palate in the world is just a question of turning your nose up at pretty much everything.”
Mitchell & Webb - Food Snobbery
YouTube video by TomosANTIGUATomos
youtu.be
November 25, 2025 at 11:50 PM
I think of this sketch multiple times a year. More often since bsky came along.
“Looking like you’ve got the most refined palate in the world is just a question of turning your nose up at pretty much everything.”
“Looking like you’ve got the most refined palate in the world is just a question of turning your nose up at pretty much everything.”
Here’s my contribution to this evening’s idiotic discourse: I fucking love sugar. “Blob of sugar” is my ideal dessert. If my teeth don’t fall out immediately upon contact, you didn’t make it sweet enough.
November 25, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Here’s my contribution to this evening’s idiotic discourse: I fucking love sugar. “Blob of sugar” is my ideal dessert. If my teeth don’t fall out immediately upon contact, you didn’t make it sweet enough.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
This is among the funniest things I have read all year and I laughed out loud several times. Highly, highly recommended. It reminded me of the best days of Deadspin.
I wrote 4000 words about Nuzzi/Lizza/RFK, please read it before it gets taken down by HR
The Olivia Nuzzi and RFK Jr. Affair Is Messier Than We Ever Could Have Imagined
Inside the most important, and also least important, story of our time
www.theringer.com
November 25, 2025 at 8:09 PM
This is among the funniest things I have read all year and I laughed out loud several times. Highly, highly recommended. It reminded me of the best days of Deadspin.
Jesus Christ. Because the problem isn’t tariffs or FUBAR supply chains - it’s automatic emergency braking! You want affordability? Dying in a car accident is FREE!
Exclusive: Republicans plan to challenge vehicle-safety mandates, such as automatic emergency braking and alarms that remind drivers a child is in the back seat.
Senate Committee to Challenge Auto-Safety Mandates That Hurt ‘Affordability’
Republicans are questioning the value of some features, such as automatic braking and rear-seat reminders.
on.wsj.com
November 25, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Jesus Christ. Because the problem isn’t tariffs or FUBAR supply chains - it’s automatic emergency braking! You want affordability? Dying in a car accident is FREE!
I’m sorry but I cannot imagine giving a flying fuck whether there are dead leaves on my yard.
November 25, 2025 at 4:45 PM
I’m sorry but I cannot imagine giving a flying fuck whether there are dead leaves on my yard.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Voters wanted Donald Trump back in office to make them rich and let them be bigots, and they will have neither
Crashing the global economy to say slurs at work.
November 25, 2025 at 8:51 AM
Voters wanted Donald Trump back in office to make them rich and let them be bigots, and they will have neither
Just caught myself contemplating “what God wants for me” (in very specific terms, not just what a youth minister would say) and that’s how you know I’ve had too much coffee
November 25, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Just caught myself contemplating “what God wants for me” (in very specific terms, not just what a youth minister would say) and that’s how you know I’ve had too much coffee
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
*gets out of bed* parkour
November 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
*gets out of bed* parkour
I have no meetings today, so I’m working without a bra #rebel
a woman wearing a hoodie and sunglasses is sitting in a crowd of people and making a peace sign .
Alt: Amy Poehler in a hoodie and sunglasses, throwing peace signs to the camera
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 2:38 PM
I have no meetings today, so I’m working without a bra #rebel
I’m not paying $20 for someone to mail me cheese just to dip it in coffee, you sick son of a bitch!
November 25, 2025 at 1:08 AM
I’m not paying $20 for someone to mail me cheese just to dip it in coffee, you sick son of a bitch!
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
November 24, 2025 at 10:38 PM
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
Logging on after a relatively peaceful Thanksgiving Week Monday at work only to find bsky is doing one of its Exhausting Debate Days.
November 24, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Logging on after a relatively peaceful Thanksgiving Week Monday at work only to find bsky is doing one of its Exhausting Debate Days.
Me as every day gets shorter
a man wearing glasses and a striped shirt is laying down in a dark room and talking to someone .
Alt: Buster Bluth on night vision camera in the trunk of a car, saying “Oh man, it’s tired in here”
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Me as every day gets shorter
Nothing in my degree field paid shit. I temped until one of my assignments offered me a full-time job w/benefits. 13 yrs later I was sick of that place, so I found *another* FT job w/benefits.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
November 23, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Nothing in my degree field paid shit. I temped until one of my assignments offered me a full-time job w/benefits. 13 yrs later I was sick of that place, so I found *another* FT job w/benefits.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
Finally started season 3 of #BlueLights and there goes my relaxing Sunday afternoon
November 23, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Finally started season 3 of #BlueLights and there goes my relaxing Sunday afternoon
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
People who adore the LLM-machine, that by design has no concern for truth, must have no concern for truth
November 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
People who adore the LLM-machine, that by design has no concern for truth, must have no concern for truth
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
you're not allowed to make vague two word sentences about something bad happening when trump is president. if it's about sports, put in a sports hashtag, or a ball emoji or something to indicate the bombs aren't dropping.
November 23, 2025 at 8:52 PM
you're not allowed to make vague two word sentences about something bad happening when trump is president. if it's about sports, put in a sports hashtag, or a ball emoji or something to indicate the bombs aren't dropping.
Please enjoy this picture of a well-to-do, photogenic family enjoying an afternoon picnic in what appears to be the Tuscan countryside with a menu consisting entirely of *squints* Monster Munch.
November 23, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Please enjoy this picture of a well-to-do, photogenic family enjoying an afternoon picnic in what appears to be the Tuscan countryside with a menu consisting entirely of *squints* Monster Munch.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Now, the last thing I want to do is say that the Republican Party has been the party of fascism since Nixon, by which I mean I intend to say it on my deathbed.
November 23, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Now, the last thing I want to do is say that the Republican Party has been the party of fascism since Nixon, by which I mean I intend to say it on my deathbed.
You know what else is gross? IDLING AT THE GROCERY STORE PICKUP WHEN IT’S A COOL 59° AND SUNNY. STOP BELCHING CO2, ASSHAT.
Me: It’s gross and sad how gambling has crept into every corner of our already sick society
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
November 23, 2025 at 2:16 PM
You know what else is gross? IDLING AT THE GROCERY STORE PICKUP WHEN IT’S A COOL 59° AND SUNNY. STOP BELCHING CO2, ASSHAT.
Me: It’s gross and sad how gambling has crept into every corner of our already sick society
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
November 23, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Me: It’s gross and sad how gambling has crept into every corner of our already sick society
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Look at THESE turkeys! (complimentary)
November 22, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Look at THESE turkeys! (complimentary)
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
We gotta bring back shame in a big way
November 22, 2025 at 6:37 PM
We gotta bring back shame in a big way
As a Georgian and an Atlanta native: FUCK Buddy Carter for inviting the federal government to terrorize his own state.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.
Georgia congressman calls for more ICE officers in Atlanta
Rep. Buddy Carter is urging DHS to increase ICE presence in Atlanta amid immigration concerns.
www.cbsnews.com
November 22, 2025 at 1:03 PM
As a Georgian and an Atlanta native: FUCK Buddy Carter for inviting the federal government to terrorize his own state.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.