Davin Wood
@davinwood.com
Just trying to be a good guy
(Music for Tim & Eric, Miracle Workers, Portlandia, Baskets, other venues, outlets, genres, idioms . . . Why are you still on Twitter?)
(Music for Tim & Eric, Miracle Workers, Portlandia, Baskets, other venues, outlets, genres, idioms . . . Why are you still on Twitter?)
Pinned
Davin Wood
@davinwood.com
· Nov 18
Sorry about raisin bran
-God
-God
Reposted by Davin Wood
I hear you, autodialer.
I hear you.
I hear you.
January 4, 2026 at 8:58 PM
I hear you, autodialer.
I hear you.
I hear you.
I think if I had been @TReznor on arena tours in the '00s, every now and then I would have sung: 🎵 Bow down before Eeyore, you turd! He's gonna get you to Big Bird . . . 🎵
December 31, 2025 at 4:21 AM
I think if I had been @TReznor on arena tours in the '00s, every now and then I would have sung: 🎵 Bow down before Eeyore, you turd! He's gonna get you to Big Bird . . . 🎵
I thought I was getting all the romance I needed from my garbage company until I found
December 30, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I thought I was getting all the romance I needed from my garbage company until I found
"Ng then thanked the audience, nervously adjusting his hair with all thirteen fingers of his middle hand, and left the stage, accidentally coughing out a full-sized, perfectly-tuned banjo . . ."
December 29, 2025 at 2:43 AM
"Ng then thanked the audience, nervously adjusting his hair with all thirteen fingers of his middle hand, and left the stage, accidentally coughing out a full-sized, perfectly-tuned banjo . . ."
"Explain _____ to me like a child."
Sure. Gabbla bleeblee blugg—
"No, a 5 year old child!"
Absolutely. I was at the circuusss and dey had a paraaaade, and I saw a—a HORSEEEY and a—
"No, like I'M a 5 year-old!"
Sure. That's about enough out of you—go clean your room.
Sure. Gabbla bleeblee blugg—
"No, a 5 year old child!"
Absolutely. I was at the circuusss and dey had a paraaaade, and I saw a—a HORSEEEY and a—
"No, like I'M a 5 year-old!"
Sure. That's about enough out of you—go clean your room.
December 28, 2025 at 7:43 AM
"Explain _____ to me like a child."
Sure. Gabbla bleeblee blugg—
"No, a 5 year old child!"
Absolutely. I was at the circuusss and dey had a paraaaade, and I saw a—a HORSEEEY and a—
"No, like I'M a 5 year-old!"
Sure. That's about enough out of you—go clean your room.
Sure. Gabbla bleeblee blugg—
"No, a 5 year old child!"
Absolutely. I was at the circuusss and dey had a paraaaade, and I saw a—a HORSEEEY and a—
"No, like I'M a 5 year-old!"
Sure. That's about enough out of you—go clean your room.
Merry Christmas to all who observe! Also, if that's you, this is the correct Xmas album. No, no, this is the one. It's this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=89AX...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=89AX...
A Very Merry Christmas Volume 3 from Grants in 4K (1970)
YouTube video by Christmas Vinyl
www.youtube.com
December 25, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Merry Christmas to all who observe! Also, if that's you, this is the correct Xmas album. No, no, this is the one. It's this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=89AX...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=89AX...
Reposted by Davin Wood
Your power bill has tripled and you can't afford new PC parts just to create this.
December 20, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Your power bill has tripled and you can't afford new PC parts just to create this.
I got up at 4am today and I still didn’t make it to Lidl before they closed.
December 21, 2025 at 3:12 AM
I got up at 4am today and I still didn’t make it to Lidl before they closed.
Reposted by Davin Wood
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
December 3, 2023 at 1:13 AM
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Quote with your model of masculinity
![An illustration of a bewildered Geppetto questioning a repentant Pinocchio, who has burned off his feet on a fire.
Source: Pinocchio
The Tale of a Puppet
Author: C. Collodi
Illustrator: Alice Carsey
Release Date: October 13, 2005 [EBook #16865]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:krhsuq5sonfhaaif3d7krn6c/bafkreih7d3yk5jdb3nz7bx22lscmbbbgab4c6awms4y7jzkyrzn26gmieq@jpeg)
December 6, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Quote with your model of masculinity
Gee whiz, @nbcnews, leave some boot for the rest of the press pool to lick why doncha?
December 3, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Gee whiz, @nbcnews, leave some boot for the rest of the press pool to lick why doncha?
Pete Hegseth, a silly grown man, picking a fight with the Boy Scouts is hilarious to me.
November 26, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Pete Hegseth, a silly grown man, picking a fight with the Boy Scouts is hilarious to me.
Growing up, I always kinda felt bad for the girls in Billy Joel songs.
November 22, 2025 at 8:39 AM
Growing up, I always kinda felt bad for the girls in Billy Joel songs.
Same look on my face when I remember that guy
November 21, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Same look on my face when I remember that guy
"Safe will need to be removed from 3rd floor apartment window via a pulley system I have installed for this purpose. Unfortunately the only time available for pickup will be precisely 10:30am tomorrow at a location I have marked with concentric red circles on the sidewalk in front of the building."
November 17, 2025 at 9:13 AM
"Safe will need to be removed from 3rd floor apartment window via a pulley system I have installed for this purpose. Unfortunately the only time available for pickup will be precisely 10:30am tomorrow at a location I have marked with concentric red circles on the sidewalk in front of the building."
Actually, it's 'Dr. Frankenstein's penis', ma'am.
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
November 11, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Actually, it's 'Dr. Frankenstein's penis', ma'am.
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
'Home Deport'
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
November 7, 2025 at 3:24 AM
'Home Deport'
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
[The Hill] "Heritage president apologizes for Carlson defense in brutal leaked all-staff meeting"
thehill.com/policy/55924...
thehill.com/policy/55924...
November 6, 2025 at 5:08 AM
[The Hill] "Heritage president apologizes for Carlson defense in brutal leaked all-staff meeting"
thehill.com/policy/55924...
thehill.com/policy/55924...
After 4 years of Reagan, the American people said:
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
November 5, 2025 at 7:07 AM
After 4 years of Reagan, the American people said:
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
I think it’s hilarious that Lowes’ ‘premium’ power tool brand, the one aimed at DIY corksniffers is called EGO
November 1, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I think it’s hilarious that Lowes’ ‘premium’ power tool brand, the one aimed at DIY corksniffers is called EGO
A neighbor of mine. Gonna have to check their rates I suppose . . .
November 1, 2025 at 11:00 PM
A neighbor of mine. Gonna have to check their rates I suppose . . .