Chris Hammond
@chammond.me
👋 hey!
📍 | London, UK
👨💻 | Senior Incident Response Consultant
🙅♂️ | Node.js on the desktop makes me sad
All views are purely mine and don't represent those of my employer, whomever LinkedIn may suggest that is 👀
📍 | London, UK
👨💻 | Senior Incident Response Consultant
🙅♂️ | Node.js on the desktop makes me sad
All views are purely mine and don't represent those of my employer, whomever LinkedIn may suggest that is 👀
I thought about this again
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
September 22, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I thought about this again
Absolutely obsessed with this description of a Christmas tree sold by Target.
November 26, 2024 at 5:11 AM
Absolutely obsessed with this description of a Christmas tree sold by Target.
For those of us ready to watch in awe/confusion/concern at Elon's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), join me right here on the Bluesky Teehee! Consortium (BTC) for live reporting on whatever the hell is happening in this timeline
November 13, 2024 at 10:34 PM
For those of us ready to watch in awe/confusion/concern at Elon's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), join me right here on the Bluesky Teehee! Consortium (BTC) for live reporting on whatever the hell is happening in this timeline
I am once again attempting to make people laugh with the funniest thing I've ever posted on this app, given that Bluesky has had a huge influx of users recently
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
November 13, 2024 at 10:28 PM
I am once again attempting to make people laugh with the funniest thing I've ever posted on this app, given that Bluesky has had a huge influx of users recently
Once again bringing back the funniest thing I've ever said on this platform
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
September 3, 2024 at 6:07 AM
Once again bringing back the funniest thing I've ever said on this platform
Reposted by Chris Hammond
Bringing back the funniest thing I've ever said, that was also never appreciated.
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
October 29, 2023 at 4:01 PM
Bringing back the funniest thing I've ever said, that was also never appreciated.
Bringing back the funniest thing I've ever said, that was also never appreciated.
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
October 29, 2023 at 4:01 PM
Bringing back the funniest thing I've ever said, that was also never appreciated.
This was the funniest thing I've ever said or done and literally not one person appreciated it :(
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
August 16, 2023 at 4:25 AM
This was the funniest thing I've ever said or done and literally not one person appreciated it :(
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
July 28, 2023 at 4:41 PM
when Mario still has an extra life and starts back at the last save point
Reposted by Chris Hammond
These takes are just getting silly now. bluesky is antipope anacletus II. threads is the 9M14 Malyutka anti-tank guided missile system. Twitter is a little fruit cart vendor on the side of the road in 1907. No, these are websites
July 7, 2023 at 11:06 AM
These takes are just getting silly now. bluesky is antipope anacletus II. threads is the 9M14 Malyutka anti-tank guided missile system. Twitter is a little fruit cart vendor on the side of the road in 1907. No, these are websites
Nothing in Alanis Morisette's hit song Ironic is actually ironic.
Each item she lists is just the result of poor risk management.
Each item she lists is just the result of poor risk management.
July 4, 2023 at 11:23 PM
Nothing in Alanis Morisette's hit song Ironic is actually ironic.
Each item she lists is just the result of poor risk management.
Each item she lists is just the result of poor risk management.
Reposted by Chris Hammond
oh no the Barbie marketing team has hit bluesky
June 28, 2023 at 11:00 PM
oh no the Barbie marketing team has hit bluesky
thank goodness for my consistently poor quality posts
June 24, 2023 at 10:18 PM
thank goodness for my consistently poor quality posts
Hey Bluesky, what do you call the stuff you put in a sandwich?
I called it "the innards", but that feels wrong...
I called it "the innards", but that feels wrong...
June 20, 2023 at 11:56 PM
Hey Bluesky, what do you call the stuff you put in a sandwich?
I called it "the innards", but that feels wrong...
I called it "the innards", but that feels wrong...
oops found a device with Twitter on it
This is a reminder to make sure you didn’t forget a small bird in your pocket. Always check your pockets for birds of all sizes at the end of each day.
June 18, 2023 at 1:03 AM
oops found a device with Twitter on it
Reposted by Chris Hammond
Happy New York Daytime.
June 7, 2023 at 8:07 PM
Happy New York Daytime.
Reposted by Chris Hammond
In my hands is a signed launch day Xbox 360. Looking up, Bill Gates is smiling at me. Everybody in Best Buy is smiling.
I take off my Apple Vision. I am back in the retirement home. Nobody has visited me for 16 years. I put it back on.
I hug the Xbox 360. Everybody in Best Buy is smiling
I take off my Apple Vision. I am back in the retirement home. Nobody has visited me for 16 years. I put it back on.
I hug the Xbox 360. Everybody in Best Buy is smiling
June 5, 2023 at 8:30 PM
In my hands is a signed launch day Xbox 360. Looking up, Bill Gates is smiling at me. Everybody in Best Buy is smiling.
I take off my Apple Vision. I am back in the retirement home. Nobody has visited me for 16 years. I put it back on.
I hug the Xbox 360. Everybody in Best Buy is smiling
I take off my Apple Vision. I am back in the retirement home. Nobody has visited me for 16 years. I put it back on.
I hug the Xbox 360. Everybody in Best Buy is smiling
Welcome to Bluesky, @officialmatt.bsky.social!! Finally used my second invite for great good
June 3, 2023 at 12:40 AM
Welcome to Bluesky, @officialmatt.bsky.social!! Finally used my second invite for great good
This T-Shirt was posted alongside a Tweet in which the author asked "can someone solve this?"
Golly, I do believe I have!
Inflicting Payne.
I'll see myself out...
Golly, I do believe I have!
Inflicting Payne.
I'll see myself out...
June 2, 2023 at 1:59 AM
This T-Shirt was posted alongside a Tweet in which the author asked "can someone solve this?"
Golly, I do believe I have!
Inflicting Payne.
I'll see myself out...
Golly, I do believe I have!
Inflicting Payne.
I'll see myself out...
Reposted by Chris Hammond
Some Greek guys just dropped this off, said it was a gift. Psyched to see what it is once I get it behind my city’s famously impenetrable wall
May 31, 2023 at 2:58 PM
Some Greek guys just dropped this off, said it was a gift. Psyched to see what it is once I get it behind my city’s famously impenetrable wall
The right type of gatekeeping.
June 1, 2023 at 1:46 AM
The right type of gatekeeping.
Mild fever, headaches, stomach pains, and multiple clear COVID tests. I guess I have one of those other legacy illnesses from a bygone era.
June 1, 2023 at 1:35 AM
Mild fever, headaches, stomach pains, and multiple clear COVID tests. I guess I have one of those other legacy illnesses from a bygone era.