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austin crabbe

@austincrabbe.bsky.social

110 followers 160 following 170 posts

it's me, your old pal aidan

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austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Jun 7

if you can't handle me at my scary monsters, you don't deserve me at my nice sprites

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · 3h

I ate two airwaves gums today,
To see if I still feel

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · 16d

I'd love to wander into the forest and become a tree for 18-36 months

1 2

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · 16d

Someone give me a job please

What I bring to the table:

-Often awake before noon
-Strong, healthy thumbs
-Adept at talking about the weather and how quickly it's come about
-Spreadsheets with such tabs as Sheet1 and Sheet1 (2)

5 11

Reposted by austin crabbe

Steve Marmel @marmel.bsky.social · 17d

ICE attempted
and failed to disappear a food delivery guy.
It needed to be scored.

2.4K 7K 27K

Reposted by austin crabbe

iucounu @iucounu.bsky.social · Sep 5

Spider-Man asking dinosaur mad scientist Sauron why he is using his 170 seat majority to constantly fuck up instead of fixing Britain and Sauron saying that’s the way he likes it

13 530 1.9K

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · 21d

If I speak...

Stats for Lefties 🍉🏳️‍⚧️ @leftiestats.bsky.social · 22d

🚨 BREAKING | Wes Streeting confirms Labour is actively working to BAN trans women AND trans men from female spaces, describing their presence as "unpleasant".

Streeting confirmed to MumsNet that Labour aims to exclude ALL trans people from single-sex spaces.

(Via MumsNet)

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · 24d

"are you going to be a heckin pupper for me?"

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · 27d

How the fuck did they bag the WIFI ticker code

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Sep 16

Beth Ditto saying "nope, do not tell me, I don't want to know, I don't do social media" in response to being told how excited people are online that she's on radio 6 is maybe the healthiest thing I've ever heard

Reposted by austin crabbe

milo edwards @miloedwards.bsky.social · Sep 15

imagine getting qt dunked by ed davey. unrecoverable. you’re furious and he is serenely going down a log flume in bognor regis.

47 850 4.2K

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Sep 15

if you're near any of these you simply must, they're lovely boys
youtu.be/M3S-b-FUNsU

GANS - NIGHTWALKING

YouTube video by GANS.BRUM.

youtu.be

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Sep 15

A 'drop everything to see' band announcing a local date when I'm already seeing a 'drop everything to see' band 😔

1 3

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Sep 15

the sense of relief opening tiktok and seeing that my favourite geezer on there spent Saturday polishing his wife's car

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Sep 9

me deciding to go shopping at 15:45 on a sunday

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Aug 22

I can't control it, a gift and a curse in equal measure

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Aug 22

creams of the scone age

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Aug 13

Full marks on the eye test and I didn't even revise

Reposted by austin crabbe

alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · Aug 6

fuck that fucking doctor "go out tonight and see a great clown" fuck you that man needed antidepressants

14 66 570

Reposted by austin crabbe

mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · Jul 28

AI shaming | patreon.com/lubchansky

PANEL 1: MATTIE is talking to a MAN as they walk on the street. The MAN is typing on his phone.
MATTIE: What do you wanna do tonight?
MAN: Hmm…!
MAN: What…do…I…want…to…do…tonight?

PANEL 2: MATTIE rolls her eyes. The phone pipes up as well.
MATTIE: Are you asking a chatbot? Come on.
PHONE: SEEING FRIENDS IS ALWAYS A GREAT WAY TO SEE YOUR FRIENDS.
MAN: Oh, are you A.I. SHAMING ME? Wow. I didn't think you were a bigot.

PANEL 3: MATTIE, arms spread wide. The MAN strokes his chin.
MATTIE: What? Nobody was doing this a year ago. It's completely unnecessary!
MAN: Huh, that's true. I wonder why that happened.

PANEL 4: The MAN types on his phone, brow furrowed.
MAN: Why…am…I…doing…this

14 650 2.6K

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Jul 29

Exclusive: Labour sources report that the government is looking into age verification for soggy porn mags in bushes and woodlands.
Conflicting rumours on whether the ban will include discarded dvds.

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Jul 28

I fear it may be revealing too much about my childhood to share that coke lime tastes like bubble liquid

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Jul 25

still kinda mad about the guy at a charity Pay What You Want raffle who bought multiple tickets and then won multiple times because he was the only person who did

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Jul 24

Some cultures believe that when a photographer takes your photo, they steal a piece of your soul.
Obviously that's not true, they do it when they talk you into buying a vintage SLR

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Jul 23

Strictly fax only

austin crabbe @austincrabbe.bsky.social · Jul 23

I'm sure absolutely NOTHING bad will come of this