Artimus T. Branesample
@abranesample.bsky.social
Medically-retired former champion chicken plucker.
I started a company that sells edible candied versions of the stuff that makes bugs luminesce. #LightningBuggary.uk.wii
I try to keep things light because the heavy shit is very dark & schmooky.
I started a company that sells edible candied versions of the stuff that makes bugs luminesce. #LightningBuggary.uk.wii
I try to keep things light because the heavy shit is very dark & schmooky.
Have you ever used a needle to pop a style inside your eyelid?
With less than 3 beers in ya?
With less than 3 beers in ya?
November 10, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Have you ever used a needle to pop a style inside your eyelid?
With less than 3 beers in ya?
With less than 3 beers in ya?
For fellas, middle school was the age during which we wore NOTHING that couldn't help hide an erection.
Incidental or accidental.
Couldn't touch it nor hide it so, accomodations for that are largely what still drive modern men into the arts/physics/engineering, et al.
youtube.com/shorts/66uTQ...
Incidental or accidental.
Couldn't touch it nor hide it so, accomodations for that are largely what still drive modern men into the arts/physics/engineering, et al.
youtube.com/shorts/66uTQ...
I’m a woman of my word, so here it is: the windbreaker story. I hate losing 😆
YouTube video by Chats Fam with MomChats and Dadchats
youtube.com
November 10, 2025 at 8:37 PM
For fellas, middle school was the age during which we wore NOTHING that couldn't help hide an erection.
Incidental or accidental.
Couldn't touch it nor hide it so, accomodations for that are largely what still drive modern men into the arts/physics/engineering, et al.
youtube.com/shorts/66uTQ...
Incidental or accidental.
Couldn't touch it nor hide it so, accomodations for that are largely what still drive modern men into the arts/physics/engineering, et al.
youtube.com/shorts/66uTQ...
So goddamn funny.
youtube.com/shorts/VMXMP...
youtube.com/shorts/VMXMP...
Matt Rife performs a miracle! | Crowd work part 1
YouTube video by Matt Rife
youtube.com
October 28, 2025 at 5:34 AM
So goddamn funny.
youtube.com/shorts/VMXMP...
youtube.com/shorts/VMXMP...
I can't believe I had to make this video!
YouTube video by Culture Catz
youtu.be
September 28, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Can you even BELIEVE?!?
"I watched my son be delivered 'the hard way' and I didn't even pass out!
💪👀🤝
Granted, his mom is also the smartest person I've ever met but, I didn't even get NAUSEOUS!"
If I hadn't written this myself- to a WOMAN- I would not have believed it had actually happened.
Butidid.
"I watched my son be delivered 'the hard way' and I didn't even pass out!
💪👀🤝
Granted, his mom is also the smartest person I've ever met but, I didn't even get NAUSEOUS!"
If I hadn't written this myself- to a WOMAN- I would not have believed it had actually happened.
Butidid.
September 14, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Can you even BELIEVE?!?
"I watched my son be delivered 'the hard way' and I didn't even pass out!
💪👀🤝
Granted, his mom is also the smartest person I've ever met but, I didn't even get NAUSEOUS!"
If I hadn't written this myself- to a WOMAN- I would not have believed it had actually happened.
Butidid.
"I watched my son be delivered 'the hard way' and I didn't even pass out!
💪👀🤝
Granted, his mom is also the smartest person I've ever met but, I didn't even get NAUSEOUS!"
If I hadn't written this myself- to a WOMAN- I would not have believed it had actually happened.
Butidid.
Not a lot of people know this but, Charlie was an environmentalist.
Chuck may have been a bigoty asshole but, he was responsible for billions of cubic yds of abject hate.
He took that job seriously.
So much so that, in his literal dying breath, he wanted to separate mass shootings by race.
Rubbish.
Chuck may have been a bigoty asshole but, he was responsible for billions of cubic yds of abject hate.
He took that job seriously.
So much so that, in his literal dying breath, he wanted to separate mass shootings by race.
Rubbish.
September 11, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Not a lot of people know this but, Charlie was an environmentalist.
Chuck may have been a bigoty asshole but, he was responsible for billions of cubic yds of abject hate.
He took that job seriously.
So much so that, in his literal dying breath, he wanted to separate mass shootings by race.
Rubbish.
Chuck may have been a bigoty asshole but, he was responsible for billions of cubic yds of abject hate.
He took that job seriously.
So much so that, in his literal dying breath, he wanted to separate mass shootings by race.
Rubbish.
Ever have that dream where you have absorbed your twin- minus a patch of hair and some teeth on your shoulder blade- and your dog won't leave it alone?
July 25, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Ever have that dream where you have absorbed your twin- minus a patch of hair and some teeth on your shoulder blade- and your dog won't leave it alone?
ONE wonderful thing is that I will be leaving the house to attend no less than ONE Michael Franti concert.
TWO. As if to designate the existence of a SECOND thing is this: I've never seen a Franti show in my hometown (somewhere between San Francisco and Myrtle Beach).
share.google/NYrR8fLTdn7M...
TWO. As if to designate the existence of a SECOND thing is this: I've never seen a Franti show in my hometown (somewhere between San Francisco and Myrtle Beach).
share.google/NYrR8fLTdn7M...
Michael Franti & Spearhead: Welcome to the Family Tour with HIRIE - Clyde Theatre
Michael Franti & Spearhead: Welcome to the Family Tour with HIRIE ❤ at The Clyde in Fort Wayne, Indiana on July 24!
share.google
July 24, 2025 at 3:52 AM
ONE wonderful thing is that I will be leaving the house to attend no less than ONE Michael Franti concert.
TWO. As if to designate the existence of a SECOND thing is this: I've never seen a Franti show in my hometown (somewhere between San Francisco and Myrtle Beach).
share.google/NYrR8fLTdn7M...
TWO. As if to designate the existence of a SECOND thing is this: I've never seen a Franti show in my hometown (somewhere between San Francisco and Myrtle Beach).
share.google/NYrR8fLTdn7M...
"Thank you Bejus, for all of the girls at Camp Mystic that you DIDN'T needlessly kill to demonstrate your hatred of reproductive age young women."
July 8, 2025 at 3:43 AM
"Thank you Bejus, for all of the girls at Camp Mystic that you DIDN'T needlessly kill to demonstrate your hatred of reproductive age young women."
"Am NOT!"
A Gay Only Fans Account + MAGA Ridiculousness = Pete Hegseth
May 28, 2025 at 3:22 AM
"Am NOT!"
"Ever been so fkt up that you were pretty sure that your phone could purify water? ... Really?!" - RFK2
May 28, 2025 at 3:00 AM
"Ever been so fkt up that you were pretty sure that your phone could purify water? ... Really?!" - RFK2
Jack White - Archbishop Harold Holmes (Lyrics)
YouTube video by Hands Free Lyrics
youtu.be
May 21, 2025 at 11:10 PM
I drink.
And, I smoke.
I'm also decrepit & physically feeble, apparently.
But, I still believe that this is the funniest joke that I've ever written.
And, I smoke.
I'm also decrepit & physically feeble, apparently.
But, I still believe that this is the funniest joke that I've ever written.
May 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
I drink.
And, I smoke.
I'm also decrepit & physically feeble, apparently.
But, I still believe that this is the funniest joke that I've ever written.
And, I smoke.
I'm also decrepit & physically feeble, apparently.
But, I still believe that this is the funniest joke that I've ever written.
@willowmims.bsky.social
Psssst!
It's the inverse of 'Gild the Lily'.
Inescapable duality is a frustrating character trait.
Even among professionals.
;)
youtu.be/0FAr1HHb6TU?...
Psssst!
It's the inverse of 'Gild the Lily'.
Inescapable duality is a frustrating character trait.
Even among professionals.
;)
youtu.be/0FAr1HHb6TU?...
Jack White - Archbishop Harold Holmes (Official Audio)
YouTube video by JackWhiteVEVO
youtu.be
May 16, 2025 at 4:01 AM
@willowmims.bsky.social
Psssst!
It's the inverse of 'Gild the Lily'.
Inescapable duality is a frustrating character trait.
Even among professionals.
;)
youtu.be/0FAr1HHb6TU?...
Psssst!
It's the inverse of 'Gild the Lily'.
Inescapable duality is a frustrating character trait.
Even among professionals.
;)
youtu.be/0FAr1HHb6TU?...
Happy My Birthday, everyone!
I'm glad any of you give a shit and I'm grateful.
youtu.be/1UkYY2Q563g?...
I'm glad any of you give a shit and I'm grateful.
youtu.be/1UkYY2Q563g?...
David Byrne - St. Vincent - Strange Overtones
YouTube video by Ozan Önder
youtu.be
May 9, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Happy My Birthday, everyone!
I'm glad any of you give a shit and I'm grateful.
youtu.be/1UkYY2Q563g?...
I'm glad any of you give a shit and I'm grateful.
youtu.be/1UkYY2Q563g?...