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tera-cotta

@notincharge7.bsky.social

880 followers 780 following 310 posts

it was just a joke Some Skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jiqppb3vymtquebk2yatb4mw/feed/aaajtkgvisqbu

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Nov 25

I'm an over-explainer (I explain things too much)

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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 1d

I don't get lost in thought. I live there. The rent is cheap and I make the rules.

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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 1d

At my age, forgetting where you put your keys is a given. Forgetting what you were even doing naked is the real adventure.

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(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 1d

[james bond voice]

the name’s goose. silly goose.

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WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 1d

Americans: Who celebrates Thanksgiving in October?

Canadians: Happy Thanksgiving, eh!

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · 1d

husband: Can you do a cartwheel?
daughter, 7: [does a cartwheel]

h: Roundoff?
d: [does a roundoff]

h: One handed?
d: [does a one-handed cartwheel]

h: Wow! Now no hands.
d: [rolls eyes] Dad, that's called an areola.

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · 5d

me as a basketball referee:

[blows whistle]
"Oh, wait, no. My bad."

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · 6d

In HS my 2 bffs and I went through this thing where we would talk mostly in first letters and only call each other by our first initials and we always knew what each of us meant because we were that close and I miss that and the mom of one girl still calls me "T"

tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · 17d

"It's crazy I'm still alive."
-the quote on our Gen X family crest

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · 18d

My new car tells me the psi of all my tires and my husband is "so excited"

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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · Sep 15

The only notification that excites me is "out for delivery".

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presentdead🙋🏻‍♂️👻 @lacroixboi.dadguy.help · Sep 14

telling “your mama” jokes to the baby

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 15

When I die I expect you to Weekend at Bernie me to the gym before my funeral so I look my best in the casket.

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Aug 25

"You chose...poorly."

-The Grail Knight to me in every checkout line.

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Mar 28

"Baba Yaga" I whisper as I cautiously walk through the dark house-fearful of the cat that will strike at any moment.

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Aug 7

*me brushing my daughter's hair

my watch: are you working out?

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Nov 25

I'm an over-explainer (I explain things too much)

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 14

I never feel more alive than when some random stranger blocks me.

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 13

Husband packing his hiking bag:
"Wow, this thing is like you. If I keep stuffing it full, I bet a kid will pop out."

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 12

A student's grandparent said I looked way too young to have been teaching 21 years so if anyone needs me I'll be over here living off this high the rest of the weekend.

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 7

We all remember exactly where we were when we realized Bluey was a girl.

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 3

7yo: I'm drinking the water from this apple.

me: Juice. It's apple juice.

tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 3

When a student in your class whisper yells to his best friend in the hallway that he'll 'meet him there soon' and then asks you to use the restroom-

-say yes and just let nature take it's course

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tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · Sep 3

me, teacher: Today we are adding i-n-g to the end of words. Can anyone tell me what i-n-g says?

student: oh-my-gosh?

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Jesus and Butthead @jesus-and-butthead.bsky.social · Sep 2

Oreo supply chain has been disrupted.
Panic! At Nabisco

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