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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 2h

Saw your girlfriend watching the salt path on the plane

Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 10h

Apparently there is a stellar member of staff named Jeremy baker that everyone in the Google reviews is obsessed with, so maybe it’s worth going there to hang out with him

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 10h

Does anyone want to go to the terre Haute casino with me

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Reposted by Mystery Ape-erition

James Crane @jamescrane.bsky.social · 10h

yuuuuuuuuuup

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Reposted by Mystery Ape-erition

Holly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 21h

you fucked around and now the Episcopalians are doing memes. are you happy now. are you

Screenshot of a Facebook post featuring three of the Portland protesters wearing inflatable frog costumes with the following text:

Episcopalians on Facebook
Elizabeth Rose Elrod • 22h •
Exodus 8:2-6
"But if you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs...
The frogs shall come up on you and on your people and on all your officials."

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

Pretty neat

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

They design the roofs so they’re hinged at one end and held down by a screw at the other, so you can just take that out and lift the roof/lid up

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

‘I need to call my lawyer’

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

Yes I should be able to gently unscrew the lids and have a look once or twice :)

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

Oh I figured, but in parallel with that was reflecting on why I entered a cage previously dubbed horny jail and set them up for this

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

But they can’t try to hibernate in here as it wouldn’t be healthy, and I can’t leave the door open in winter

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

I wish I had a cat flap. There’s no reason why he/others shouldn’t live here part time if I had the facilities and it was what he wanted

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

I thought he had since self deported, but he’d bagged himself him up in a Sainsbury’s bag, making it easy to decant him into the garden

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

Why did I enter horny jail…

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

one time someone was trying to be flirtatious by getting me to crawl into this cage thing previously designated 'horny jail' and instead of less abruptly/more kindly extricating myself from the situation, when i was asked what i'd do to get out of horny jail i just blurted out 'i'm not horny!!'

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

The door was only open for ten minutes, how is there a hedgehog behind the trash already

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Reposted by Mystery Ape-erition

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 1d

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah

Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen

Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah

Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

Do you ever not eat all day except for a snack bar and then maximise a quiche opportunity and feel like you’ve transcended

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

Booking plane tix immediately

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 1d

ok yeah they're probably kind of inbred but LOOK www.countrylife.co.uk/nature/the-s...

The strange case of the blonde hedgehogs of Alderney

While hedgehogs across most of Britain have been in a worryingly steep decline, those in the Channel Islands fare better since they have no natural predators — and that has meant a strange quirk has t...

www.countrylife.co.uk

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 2d

i'm in a call and a guy keeps using the word 'nourishing'

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 2d

I did it outside of work time but there were some elements that were deemed “inappropriate” and “frankly unsavoury”

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 2d

Spencer :)

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 2d

I got fired for making copilot write diagnosis murder fanfic while logged into my work account

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Mystery Ape-erition @lasers.bsky.social · 2d

I would love just one night’s sleep without waking up multiple times with my heart racing or coughing from acid reflux or for no apparent reason whatsoever

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