someone stumbles out of a bunker they climbed into in 2004 and asks if John Bolton ever got hauled in front of a court

“well, it’s a funny story…”

“Skynet is pissed off that it got ghosted after we hooked up” is at least a novel origin story for robot apocalypse

sometimes when people think they’re doing Righteous Takedowns For Social Justice they start sounding like Ben Franklin saying insane shit about Germans in Pennsylvania circa 1753

dare we say girlboss

it’s so cool that we’re just doing Stuart Personal Rule again, the situation that every single institution of the Founding period was explicitly built to prevent

it’s everyone’s favorite side character from Knights of the Old Republic, the GOTO Dancer

Injured Player Gives Thumbs-Down While Being Carted Off Field

Hot Water Balloon

xkcd.com/3153/

Whether it's young Democrats expressing their support for DEI or young Republicans saying "I love Hitler,' both sides have expressed controversial opinions.

Republicans' embrace of Hitler raises new questions about Zohran Mamdani's willingness to combat antisemitism.

in addition, could you all start thinking better thoughts and feeling better feelings. thank you.

it’s very funny to think what the FDR equivalent of this picture would be, if we’re looking to past examples of rich people turned class traitor politicians

I’m not so naive to think we’re likely to abolish immigration enforcement altogether, but it can be conducted by a new agency, rebuilt from scratch with new safeguards, operating under a new name, and removed from the stain of being Trump’s brutal secret police

they suspended captivedreamer the Canadian Nazi because they were scared of the “there will be no bananas under Trumpism and that’s Good Actually” thread he was cooking up

Bears win

Police officers who publicly declare that they’ll quit if a mayoral candidate they dislike wins the election are (1) usually bluffing—sure buddy, toss away that paycheck and pension—and (2) exactly the sort of cops cities would be better off without, ones who don’t see themselves as public servants.

Judge Orders Columbus Statue Removed And Melted Down Into Pinkie Rings For Local Italians https://theonion.com/judge-orders-columbus-statue-removed-and-melted-down-in-1851178112/

There’s the joke about Sun Tzu being basic instructions for idiots like “feed your troops” but the most important part of Clausewitz is also just “think about what you are actually trying to accomplish”

I would be super interested in an experiment where, for just one week, everyone’s names and profiles were invisible. you’d see the tweet text but would have no idea who was tweeting or if you follow them. what I wanna know is how much, if at all, people’s dunking habits would change.

Columbus Day Protests Once Again Erupt As Nation Struggles With Its Dark, Anti-Italian Past https://theonion.com/columbus-day-protests-once-again-erupt-as-nation-strugg-1829604693/

When I’m asked to do more than two things a day

gambler at the casino who gets dealt pocket aces and immediately assumes they are a generational card counting talent

Captain Ahab when Ishmael signs on to the crew of the Pequod: