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Greg Stolze

@gregstolze.bsky.social

2.5K followers 310 following 6.1K posts

Metafictive anti-realist, apparently. 1/3 of LUDONARRATIVE DISSIDENTS. You can get a ton of free fiction I got paid to write from www.gregstolze.com — no tricks, no traps, some tropes. Autocorrect's angriest fool.

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1h

The fun bit is, you can change the label on the razor to read “gutting rural health care” or “deporting farm workers” or just good ol’ “tarrifs.”

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1h

D: Good lord! Why would you do this to yourself?!?

E: …j-just…to see…how TRIGGERED…you…are…

3/4

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1h

The elephant is sprawled in a chair, holding a straight razor. He has severed his own trunk, which lies in a pool of gore at his feet. The donkey stares, aghast.

2/4

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1h

OK, if anyone wants another political cartoon to draw, I got another.

It’s a single frame. Again, we have a GOP elephant and a Dem donkey.

1/4

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 4h

One of the stories in it is SLUMBER FARM JANITOR. It’s about the dystopian future of eldercare. In passing, it touches on why THE MATRIX wouldn’t work without powerful drugs.

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 4h

OK everybody, only three days left and a good $562 to go. Anyone want to just back for $562 and relieve the unbearable tension?

www.kickstarter.com/projects/gre...

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DISCOMFORT FOOD

A collection of Greg Stolze's recent science fiction, fantasy and horror. Contains love potions, cursed art and telepathic speed dating

www.kickstarter.com

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 5h

Every time I see something about young conservatives, it's four pictures that answer the question "where does charisma go to die?" in a variety of ways.

Reposted by Greg Stolze

Citizen.Coping @propcazhpm.bsky.social · May 21

anti-qualified (def.) - uniquely qualified to eliminate and to work against the goals of the organizations they were assigned to lead

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 6h

I was too damn depressed to do it the 'right way' even when that way was two iterations easier. :(

Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 7h

I liked it.

Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 8h

Reminds me of all those articles where Republican dudes snivel about how women are weirdly biased against conservatives.

Cyrus "OmegaEgo" Riahi @cyrusriahi.bsky.social · 8h

No one can EVER say that cartoon supervillains are too on the nose, this is literal Cobra Commander shit.

"
"I'm going to create some o fhte greatest physiological torture methods known to man. We only want true believers," he continued."

Reposted by Greg Stolze

macnult @macnult.com · 1d

i’m so hungry i could eat a third wolf

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Reposted by Greg Stolze

The Drip @therealdrip.bsky.social · 1d

Recently Divorced Hard Drinking Detective Has Unexpected Design Aesthetic

Middle aged man with a bottle of vodka and a gun passed out on a sofa in a kind of shabby chic/new agey living room.

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Reposted by Greg Stolze

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 1d

We don't know the health effects of drinking hippo bath water. All we know is the people selling it outside the south gate are not zoo employees.

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Reposted by Greg Stolze

Simon Scott @simonscott1975.bsky.social · 17h

Somehow taxing them will disincentivise work, but them becoming so wealthy from mistaken, imaginary future value *doesn't* disincentivise work. We should have a bullshit tax.

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 17h

Heh. @bitterkarella.bsky.social , you seen this? It's fun!

Eleanor Morton @eleanormorton.bsky.social · 17h

Throwback to one of my fave Halloween videos
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjhX...

Edgar Allan Poe reads his hatemail

YouTube video by Eleanor Morton

www.youtube.com

Reposted by Greg Stolze

Will BOO-rows 🖖🍞🥀 @reforest-kelley.bsky.social · 1d

A photo of three people in inflatable frog suits outside an ICE detention center in Portland, overlaid with an excerpt from Exodus 8:2-6

"But if you refuse to let them go, I will
plague your whole country with frogs...
The frogs shall come up on you and on
your people and on all your officials."

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

...speaking as a guy who's had a rib cracked via MMA, I really don't think you want that.
1) it hurts bad
2) it is extremely imprecise
3) it continues to hurt for weeks and they won't give you strong drugs
4) the ER doctor will look at you like you're an idiot, and
5) it does not change your waist.

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

North Korealina strikes again.

Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

Ever read FAE'S ANATOMY? It's hospital drama with high fantasy diseases where you recharge your abilities by having overheated hammy scenes.

Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

We did, and the phones were chained to the walls like prisoners! My childhood landline phone number was 323-3330 and things were so primitive, you didn't even need an area code most times!

bleary @bleary.off-the-records.com · 1d

If anyone needs me I will be in the museum, lying down next to the bog bodies.

Did people really memorize phone numbers before cell phones, or is that just a movie thing?
2? Questions
I was watching some old shows from the 90s and noticed people would just dial numbers from memory - like they'd call their friends or family without looking anything up.
Made me wonder if that was actually normal back then? Did people genuinely have all their important numbers memorized, or did most folks keep a little address book or written list nearby?

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

Similarly, learning WHEN all those Civil War statues went up was a nail in the coffin of "It's heritage, not hate!"

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

"You cannot teach someone something -- even a simple thing! Even a smart person! -- when their job depends on them not knowing it."

That quote really solidified my thinking about bad faith arguments.

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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

I honestly believe the human brain's pattern-matching & categorizing nature makes it very hard for us to deal with "What if someone says some very GOID things, but also very BAD ones?"

...and you wind up with inane comments on climate being cited b/c the speaker has a Nobel in an unrelated field.

Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 1d

You are tending your mind-garden.