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cakemittens

@cakemittens.bsky.social

2.3K followers 340 following 16K posts

exactly as God made me

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · May 2

research shows that women are named Eufondia Gracely whereas men are named Beamis B. Bristle

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 13m

it makes me fucking sick

cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 13m

you're dumber than dogshit playboy

Reposted by cakemittens

James Hell Brooks @kleinman.bsky.social · 24m

Oh, you think this grimy, amoral social climber doesn't deserve a prestige journalism job that should go to someone who isn't dead inside instead? Guess what, you did a slut shaming. You did a sexism. You need to log off and Do The Work.

Bradley P. Moss @bradmossesq.bsky.social · 33m

Everyone in my feed is shitting on Nuzzi. Meanwhile, the other person in the saga is now destroying the medical community and endangering public health.

But let’s slut shame Nuzzi.

Oliver Darcy @oliverdarcy.bsky.social · 11h

Scoop: Olivia Nuzzi has written a book during her year in exile, in which she is set to in part address her relationship with RFK Jr. Details in @status.news: www.status.news/p/olivia-nuz...

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 14m

the Trump administration is asking for the list of everyone who still listens to Rill Rill by Sleigh Bells, supposedly in the name of homeland security

cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 1h

the Grinch was originally conceived by Chevrolet as a recurring character for their advertisements and Dr. Seuss stole it

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Reposted by cakemittens

Meredith Shiner @meredithshiner.com · 2d

It’s impossible to overstate how much “abolish ice” is the normie position now here in chicago — just countless random moms at toddler soccer on a park district field asking me where I bought my anti-ice t-shirt. average people don’t like our neighborhoods being terrorized.

laura olin @lauraolin.bsky.social · 2d

A friend ran the Chicago marathon today and said he couldn’t count the number of FUCK ICE signs along the way.

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Eli Valley @elivalley.bsky.social · 6d

More history from this Nazi adulated by the Trump team. These are explicit, proud Nazis who scream and cry and call every referee they can find when you quote their Nazism back to them.

Multiple tweets from Nazi Jack Posobiec in 2016 making "jokes" involving the Nazi code "1488."

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Reposted by cakemittens

saturn @mystery.systems · 7d

FATTY MEATS I DO REQUIRE

LEST I BLEED OUT AND EXPIRE

STRONG ASS WINE I WANT AND NEED

TO TELL MY KIN MY WILL AND DEED

PERSIAN SPEARS STRIKE HARD AND TRUE

SO ONLY MEATS AND WINE WILL DO

ROAST ON COALS AND FAT AS HELL

BEV'RAGE AT FULL STRENGTH AS WELL

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Reposted by cakemittens

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 7d

What do you mean your dick "crunched" off? How had it gotten so crispy in the first place?

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 9d

we love you Ruby ❤️❤️❤️
love you Nate

Reposted by cakemittens

freecialis @freecialis.bsky.social · 9d

LUNKHEAD SPORTSWATCHER: i want a “Beer”
INTELLECTUAL ADONIS: please pass me a Soda

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 9d

I Tell My Therapist What Happens After You Die While The Casino Night Zone Theme Plays On Repeat, Although It's Somewhat Immaterial That It's On Repeat As It Takes Me Less Than Two Minutes To Explain It All So The Song Doesn't Have A Chance To Loop

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 10d

my skin is as beautiful as a dinosaur's, and thrice as big or small (depending)

cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 10d

but which one...

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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 11d

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J🔥HELL🔥P @jlp.systems · 12d

video screenshot - POV of motorcycle rider sitting on bike. Subtitles say "This restaurant is rumored to have a huge amount of lunch"

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 12d

a rising tide warshes all assholes

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Reposted by cakemittens

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 13d

Share If You're Agree With Me 👇

does any
remember
carrots
2012
carrots year
we had carrots

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Reposted by cakemittens

furry hater @furry-hater.bsky.social · 13d

TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY YOU CAN REPOST THIS!!!

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ceej @ceej.online · 13d

she had her three pubes out on daytime tv

AHHH! real meghan!! 나영지 🇵🇸 @ruemcclammyhand.bsky.social · 13d

oblina was a baddie most of us could never

oblina from ahh! real monsters! a skinny j-shaped black and white striped monster with giant red lips and big yellow eyeballs and huge lashes. baddie.

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 13d

have you checked big honkin jugs dot com

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Jeremy Noel-Tod @jntod.bsky.social · 13d

On National Poetry Day, the greatest poem I have ever read

A printed poem which reads:

I hav for breakfast Weetabix

I hav for lunch some meat

I have for tea 2 sosajis and thats enuf to eat

Peter Hazel, 5

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 14d

SO excited to announce I've been invited to host Cloistered or Boisterous, the game show where contestants rank some of the biggest names of the 1100s on the Cloistered to Boisterous scale.

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 14d

it's Orenthal October y'all!
For the next 31 days, don't kill your wife

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Reposted by cakemittens

mr. dooku @isalrightnow.bsky.social · 14d

when you see rotting bananas dont say to yourself "these bananas are no good" instead say "i failed these bananas" #accountability

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