Zoe Thorne
@zoethorne.bsky.social
Educational writer & composer. Ex developer, ex 🇫🇷 & 🇩🇪 teacher and general language nerd. Occasional comedian, sometimes intentionally. She/her.
Currently reading: Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari
Currently reading: Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari
I've always said I don't want to do anything with standup beyond a hobby. But then you go see a gig and, like the witches in Macbeth, a voice in your head goes, "Yeah but what if you got to come out on stage through a giant inflatable funfair with demonic effigies of your face on it?"
November 29, 2025 at 11:15 AM
I've always said I don't want to do anything with standup beyond a hobby. But then you go see a gig and, like the witches in Macbeth, a voice in your head goes, "Yeah but what if you got to come out on stage through a giant inflatable funfair with demonic effigies of your face on it?"
I mean yes, that is how sponges work.
November 27, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I mean yes, that is how sponges work.
Call me Wokey McSnowflake but I don't think we should be eating any kids, real or otherwise.
November 27, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Call me Wokey McSnowflake but I don't think we should be eating any kids, real or otherwise.
I promise I'll just post this once now and I won't bang on about it any more until the new year but, once again, OH MY FUCKING GOD 🤩
November 25, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I promise I'll just post this once now and I won't bang on about it any more until the new year but, once again, OH MY FUCKING GOD 🤩
Oh my fucking GOD 🤩
November 25, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Oh my fucking GOD 🤩
Indeed it is!
(And some in French and German too 😉)
(And some in French and German too 😉)
November 24, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Indeed it is!
(And some in French and German too 😉)
(And some in French and German too 😉)
On the other hand, these lyrics can absolutely fuck off. If you and your kin aren't involved, I don't want to know.
November 13, 2025 at 3:05 PM
On the other hand, these lyrics can absolutely fuck off. If you and your kin aren't involved, I don't want to know.
Heh heh heh. Yes, I'm a child.
November 13, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Heh heh heh. Yes, I'm a child.
🎶Horneward bound🎶
Looking forward to seeing the Horne Section tonight!
Looking forward to seeing the Horne Section tonight!
November 12, 2025 at 6:38 PM
🎶Horneward bound🎶
Looking forward to seeing the Horne Section tonight!
Looking forward to seeing the Horne Section tonight!
New doormat, who dis?
Incidentally, when we moved in, I had to throw out the one that was here because it had the word WELCOME on it. Cos while I am an atheist who doesn't believe in supernatural spirits of any kind, I'm also not stupid enough to issue an automatic invitation to vampires and fae.
Incidentally, when we moved in, I had to throw out the one that was here because it had the word WELCOME on it. Cos while I am an atheist who doesn't believe in supernatural spirits of any kind, I'm also not stupid enough to issue an automatic invitation to vampires and fae.
November 12, 2025 at 3:45 PM
New doormat, who dis?
Incidentally, when we moved in, I had to throw out the one that was here because it had the word WELCOME on it. Cos while I am an atheist who doesn't believe in supernatural spirits of any kind, I'm also not stupid enough to issue an automatic invitation to vampires and fae.
Incidentally, when we moved in, I had to throw out the one that was here because it had the word WELCOME on it. Cos while I am an atheist who doesn't believe in supernatural spirits of any kind, I'm also not stupid enough to issue an automatic invitation to vampires and fae.
🎶 Ich gehe mit meiner Laterne und meine Laterne mit mir 🎶
We had a lovely Sankt Martinsumzug in the woods, singing songs and talking about any recent stories of kindness we'd heard.
We had a lovely Sankt Martinsumzug in the woods, singing songs and talking about any recent stories of kindness we'd heard.
November 11, 2025 at 7:10 PM
🎶 Ich gehe mit meiner Laterne und meine Laterne mit mir 🎶
We had a lovely Sankt Martinsumzug in the woods, singing songs and talking about any recent stories of kindness we'd heard.
We had a lovely Sankt Martinsumzug in the woods, singing songs and talking about any recent stories of kindness we'd heard.
The famous (and surprisingly controversial) leggings-that-aren't-leggings-because-they-don't-function-as-leggings.
November 9, 2025 at 10:00 AM
The famous (and surprisingly controversial) leggings-that-aren't-leggings-because-they-don't-function-as-leggings.
The baby knows it's bedtime so she's hidden and we can't find her anywhere.
November 8, 2025 at 7:33 PM
The baby knows it's bedtime so she's hidden and we can't find her anywhere.
This kind of thing. I consider them harem pants but they're not the big poofy ones. And, well, yes, they're essentially leggings but like I said, they function as trousers, not as leggings.
November 7, 2025 at 7:14 PM
This kind of thing. I consider them harem pants but they're not the big poofy ones. And, well, yes, they're essentially leggings but like I said, they function as trousers, not as leggings.
If I had a pound for every time I fell in love with Nick Mohammed and then he broke my heart with an ill-advised last-minute betrayal, I'd have two pounds. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
#CelebrityTraitors
#CelebrityTraitors
November 7, 2025 at 5:24 PM
If I had a pound for every time I fell in love with Nick Mohammed and then he broke my heart with an ill-advised last-minute betrayal, I'd have two pounds. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
#CelebrityTraitors
#CelebrityTraitors
No, no, I'd never say that.
November 7, 2025 at 2:46 PM
No, no, I'd never say that.
Nick is all of us overthinking ourselves into stupid decisions 😭 #CelebrityTraitors
November 6, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Nick is all of us overthinking ourselves into stupid decisions 😭 #CelebrityTraitors
We came across the remains of a Halloween trail today, left over from yesterday. The baby bounded up to this doll, shouted, "Babby!" at it joyfully and tried to kiss it. She has absolutely zero self-preservation instincts.
November 1, 2025 at 10:43 PM
We came across the remains of a Halloween trail today, left over from yesterday. The baby bounded up to this doll, shouted, "Babby!" at it joyfully and tried to kiss it. She has absolutely zero self-preservation instincts.
I dunno, sometimes it's helpful to have weirdly aggressive messages to remind you to write.
November 1, 2025 at 1:57 PM
I dunno, sometimes it's helpful to have weirdly aggressive messages to remind you to write.
Did I spend almost the entire flight giggling at this? You bet I did.
October 31, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Did I spend almost the entire flight giggling at this? You bet I did.
When will I learn to stop googling symptoms?
October 27, 2025 at 8:13 PM
When will I learn to stop googling symptoms?
Four books to get to know me
October 27, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Four books to get to know me
The baby has a doll which she refers to as *her* baby. She kisses it, feeds it etc, all very sweet. This morning, she pretended the baby was crying, signed 'loud' and then walked over and chucked it in a bin. Good to know at 3am tomorrow that this is clearly a valid option.
October 27, 2025 at 12:56 PM
The baby has a doll which she refers to as *her* baby. She kisses it, feeds it etc, all very sweet. This morning, she pretended the baby was crying, signed 'loud' and then walked over and chucked it in a bin. Good to know at 3am tomorrow that this is clearly a valid option.
