whatbryan
@whatbryan.bsky.social
I've seen a lotta cool lizards
Reposted by whatbryan
Every photo from Minneapolis looks like this. Cops decked out with guns and full tac gear facing off against people in bathrobes, parkas, and sweatpants armed only with whistles and cell phones.
Yet every verified MAGA chode on X dutifully calls it a riot or violent insurrection.
Yet every verified MAGA chode on X dutifully calls it a riot or violent insurrection.
February 11, 2026 at 11:50 PM
Every photo from Minneapolis looks like this. Cops decked out with guns and full tac gear facing off against people in bathrobes, parkas, and sweatpants armed only with whistles and cell phones.
Yet every verified MAGA chode on X dutifully calls it a riot or violent insurrection.
Yet every verified MAGA chode on X dutifully calls it a riot or violent insurrection.
Reposted by whatbryan
This picture making the rounds on reddit, Columbia Heights. I'm not OK.
January 21, 2026 at 6:52 PM
This picture making the rounds on reddit, Columbia Heights. I'm not OK.
Reposted by whatbryan
A five-year-old boy seized on his way home in Minnesota and now locked up in Texas. His family didn't know where he was for 24 hours.
January 21, 2026 at 11:36 PM
A five-year-old boy seized on his way home in Minnesota and now locked up in Texas. His family didn't know where he was for 24 hours.
Reposted by whatbryan
An observer arrested in Suth Minneapolis. Photo by Richard Tsong-Taatarii/The Minnesota Star Tribune
January 21, 2026 at 9:18 PM
An observer arrested in Suth Minneapolis. Photo by Richard Tsong-Taatarii/The Minnesota Star Tribune
Reposted by whatbryan
guys minneapolis is a living hell today. they've tear-gassed so many people, tear-gassed a park, beaten people up in front of me. greg bovino is rolling around to gas stations and posing in front of them, trying to cause a riot.
January 21, 2026 at 9:33 PM
guys minneapolis is a living hell today. they've tear-gassed so many people, tear-gassed a park, beaten people up in front of me. greg bovino is rolling around to gas stations and posing in front of them, trying to cause a riot.
a southern orgy porn called MEAT AND THREE
December 23, 2025 at 6:41 AM
a southern orgy porn called MEAT AND THREE
Reposted by whatbryan
if mike judge married judge reinhold his name would be mike reinhold
December 13, 2025 at 3:17 AM
if mike judge married judge reinhold his name would be mike reinhold
*scribbling into notebook* Cornbread, yes, banana bread, carrot cake, uh huh, zucchini bread, potato bread, yes yes, blueberry muffin, keep going you're almost there, sweet potato pie, tomato focaccia, pumpkin cheesecake, YES OF COURSE! THE EVERYTHING BAGEL! MR. HAWKING COME QUICK!
December 2, 2025 at 5:02 AM
*scribbling into notebook* Cornbread, yes, banana bread, carrot cake, uh huh, zucchini bread, potato bread, yes yes, blueberry muffin, keep going you're almost there, sweet potato pie, tomato focaccia, pumpkin cheesecake, YES OF COURSE! THE EVERYTHING BAGEL! MR. HAWKING COME QUICK!
Reposted by whatbryan
Scatter my ashes at dick shooter creek
September 1, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Scatter my ashes at dick shooter creek
Characters for my new play about a thief who steals from the fridge and gives to the poor:
- Robin Hood Vent
- Kettle John
- Air Fryer Tuck
- KitchenAid Marian
- Sheriff of Nottinghamdrawer
- Robin Hood Vent
- Kettle John
- Air Fryer Tuck
- KitchenAid Marian
- Sheriff of Nottinghamdrawer
August 31, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Characters for my new play about a thief who steals from the fridge and gives to the poor:
- Robin Hood Vent
- Kettle John
- Air Fryer Tuck
- KitchenAid Marian
- Sheriff of Nottinghamdrawer
- Robin Hood Vent
- Kettle John
- Air Fryer Tuck
- KitchenAid Marian
- Sheriff of Nottinghamdrawer
Some nights I find it hard to get to sleep, but it isn't because I'm worried or anxious, it's because my eyes are always open... to new possibilities. Hello and welcome to How to Win Friends and Influence People: The Musical
August 27, 2025 at 5:58 AM
Some nights I find it hard to get to sleep, but it isn't because I'm worried or anxious, it's because my eyes are always open... to new possibilities. Hello and welcome to How to Win Friends and Influence People: The Musical
If you asked me who had the best drum sound of all time, I might say John Bonham. And if you asked me who had the worst, I'd have to say Pat "Jello with Wet Bread" Flompstein.
July 2, 2025 at 6:26 PM
If you asked me who had the best drum sound of all time, I might say John Bonham. And if you asked me who had the worst, I'd have to say Pat "Jello with Wet Bread" Flompstein.
THIS WEEKEND there are two priceless Labubus hidden in a pitch black high school gymnasium but one is filled with bullet ants. Do you scrounge down the easy road or take the path of pain?
July 1, 2025 at 8:25 PM
THIS WEEKEND there are two priceless Labubus hidden in a pitch black high school gymnasium but one is filled with bullet ants. Do you scrounge down the easy road or take the path of pain?
I can't find my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica I hope it's okay
*glass breaking sound*
I hope that wasn't my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica
*glass breaking sound*
I hope that wasn't my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica
June 30, 2025 at 8:47 PM
I can't find my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica I hope it's okay
*glass breaking sound*
I hope that wasn't my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica
*glass breaking sound*
I hope that wasn't my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica
For his next act Timothée Chalamet MUST play Dwight Yoakum I INSIST no one else could pour themselves into those hallowed jeans
May 29, 2025 at 1:23 PM
For his next act Timothée Chalamet MUST play Dwight Yoakum I INSIST no one else could pour themselves into those hallowed jeans
I never thought I'd lose my job to a computer, especially since I'm the world's greatest computer insult comic.
May 28, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I never thought I'd lose my job to a computer, especially since I'm the world's greatest computer insult comic.
Carson Daly I'm coming for your job 🫵 So where do you work now? Oh really oh sick nice man.
May 28, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Carson Daly I'm coming for your job 🫵 So where do you work now? Oh really oh sick nice man.
You can ask me how my day was, but know that if you do, you'll never recover. Because I live every day like it's my last. And on my last day I was crushed by a rhino butt.
May 28, 2025 at 5:26 AM
You can ask me how my day was, but know that if you do, you'll never recover. Because I live every day like it's my last. And on my last day I was crushed by a rhino butt.
You think the guy who played the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz used Tinactin so his performance wouldn't feel so stiff?
March 25, 2025 at 6:36 PM
You think the guy who played the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz used Tinactin so his performance wouldn't feel so stiff?
In these times I will suffer no succotash
March 25, 2025 at 6:34 PM
In these times I will suffer no succotash
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS
March 16, 2025 at 7:27 PM
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS
They FIRED the LORAX everyone WEAR ORANGE tomorrow 03/07!!!
March 7, 2025 at 6:07 AM
They FIRED the LORAX everyone WEAR ORANGE tomorrow 03/07!!!
Y'all I forgot what "whence" means I don't know where or when or who to do
March 4, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Y'all I forgot what "whence" means I don't know where or when or who to do
If they don't let us vape in the airport soon then democracy is done for
February 27, 2025 at 5:12 PM
If they don't let us vape in the airport soon then democracy is done for
Circus owners: If you can do a bunch of front flips call me I have a job for you. Must be weird, too.
February 13, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Circus owners: If you can do a bunch of front flips call me I have a job for you. Must be weird, too.