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January 23, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Trump Changes Name of “Board of Peace” to “Bored of Peace”
Trump Changes Name of “Board of Peace” to “Bored of Peace” - Unsourced News
After every peaceful nation declined, President Trump announced that his “Board of Peace” would be rebranded as the “Bored of Peace,”
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January 22, 2026 at 8:21 PM
World’s Billionaires Retreat to Heavily Guarded Alpine Fortress to Ask Why Everything Feels So Divided
World’s Billionaires Retreat to Heavily Guarded Alpine Fortress to Ask Why Everything Feels So Divided - Unsourced News
The world’s wealthiest gathered inside a heavily guarded alpine fortress to discuss why society feels increasingly hostile toward people who gather inside heavily guarded alpine fortresses.
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January 21, 2026 at 2:18 PM
World’s Billionaires Retreat to Heavily Guarded Alpine Fortress to Ask Why Everything Feels So Divided
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge - Unsourced News
The CDC announced Tuesday that it is reducing the childhood series of 17 vaccines to three shots of tequila and a lime wedge
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January 20, 2026 at 1:48 PM
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Cabinet Meeting Runs Smoothly After Aides Take Turns Moving President’s Arms to Simulate Engagement
Cabinet Meeting Runs Smoothly After Aides Take Turns Moving President’s Arms to Simulate Engagement - Unsourced News
The latest Cabinet meeting ran “without incident” after senior aides implemented a rotating arm-movement schedule to give the appearance that President Trump was actively participating.
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January 20, 2026 at 1:34 PM
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Every NFL Team Ending Season With a Loss Immediately Fires Head Coach
Every NFL Team Ending Season With a Loss Immediately Fires Head Coach - Unsourced News
Owners across the National Football League reaffirmed this week that the only acceptable conclusion to an NFL season is a Super Bowl victory.
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January 19, 2026 at 3:54 PM
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound”
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound” - Unsourced News
White House insiders are second guessing their decision to empower misogynistic internet trolls with assault rifles
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January 15, 2026 at 3:23 AM
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole - Unsourced News
Americans gathered this week to joyfully observe January 6th by smashing, screaming, and the beating of law enforcement officers.
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January 6, 2026 at 6:13 PM