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Trump Says Hand Issue Is Minor Injury Being Treated with Rotting Flesh Appliqué
Trump Says Hand Issue Is Minor Injury Being Treated with Rotting Flesh Appliqué - Unsourced News
President Trump claimed that the alarming appearance of his right hand was merely medical coating applied to “a very small injury."
unsourcednews.com
January 23, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Trump Says Hand Issue Is Minor Injury Being Treated with Rotting Flesh Appliqué
Jack Smith Says Evidence Against Donald Trump So Extensive It May Need to Be Stored in a 90,000-Square-Foot Ballroom
Jack Smith Says Evidence Against Donald Trump So Extensive It May Need to Be Stored in a 90,000-Square-Foot Ballroom - Unsourced News
Jack Smith confirmed Thursday that the volume of evidence collected in the case against President Trump requires a 90,000sqft ballroom.
unsourcednews.com
January 22, 2026 at 3:25 PM
Jack Smith Says Evidence Against Donald Trump So Extensive It May Need to Be Stored in a 90,000-Square-Foot Ballroom
Trump Changes Name of “Board of Peace” to “Bored of Peace”
Trump Changes Name of “Board of Peace” to “Bored of Peace” - Unsourced News
After every peaceful nation declined, President Trump announced that his “Board of Peace” would be rebranded as the “Bored of Peace,”
unsourcednews.com
January 22, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Trump Changes Name of “Board of Peace” to “Bored of Peace”
Davos Attendees Shocked as Trump Keeps Referring to the U.S. Economy as “The Family Business”
Davos Attendees Shocked as Trump Keeps Referring to the U.S. Economy as “The Family Business” - Unsourced News
World leaders exchanged confused glances Wednesday after President Trump repeatedly referred to the U.S. economy as “the family business.”
unsourcednews.com
January 21, 2026 at 2:41 PM
Davos Attendees Shocked as Trump Keeps Referring to the U.S. Economy as “The Family Business”
World’s Billionaires Retreat to Heavily Guarded Alpine Fortress to Ask Why Everything Feels So Divided
World’s Billionaires Retreat to Heavily Guarded Alpine Fortress to Ask Why Everything Feels So Divided - Unsourced News
The world’s wealthiest gathered inside a heavily guarded alpine fortress to discuss why society feels increasingly hostile toward people who gather inside heavily guarded alpine fortresses.
unsourcednews.com
January 21, 2026 at 2:17 PM
World’s Billionaires Retreat to Heavily Guarded Alpine Fortress to Ask Why Everything Feels So Divided
Trump Orders Troops to Indiana for Not Acknowledging His College National Championship Win
Trump Orders Troops to Indiana for Not Acknowledging His College National Championship Win - Unsourced News
The White House that President Trump ordered troops into Indiana after it failed to formally recognize his College National Championship win.
unsourcednews.com
January 20, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Trump Orders Troops to Indiana for Not Acknowledging His College National Championship Win
Every NFL Team Ending Season With a Loss Immediately Fires Head Coach
Every NFL Team Ending Season With a Loss Immediately Fires Head Coach - Unsourced News
Owners across the National Football League reaffirmed this week that the only acceptable conclusion to an NFL season is a Super Bowl victory.
unsourcednews.com
January 19, 2026 at 3:47 PM
Every NFL Team Ending Season With a Loss Immediately Fires Head Coach
White House Commends Trump’s Courage for Staying Awake Through Most of Peace Prize Exchange
White House Commends Trump’s Courage for Staying Awake Through Most of Peace Prize Exchange - Unsourced News
The White House issued a statement Friday praising President Trump for remaining conscious for nearly all of a Nobel Peace Prize exchange
unsourcednews.com
January 16, 2026 at 2:41 PM
White House Commends Trump’s Courage for Staying Awake Through Most of Peace Prize Exchange
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents - Unsourced News
In a stunning declaration, the Trump administration has officially classified Minnesota as “Hostile Territory.”
unsourcednews.com
January 15, 2026 at 2:44 PM
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents
GOP Alarmed as Texas Voters Start Saying Things Like “Well… I’m Just Asking Questions”
GOP Alarmed as Texas Voters Start Saying Things Like “Well… I’m Just Asking Questions” - Unsourced News
A growing sense of dread spread through the Texas GOP this week after recent polling revealed a terrifying new trend among voters: curiosity.
unsourcednews.com
January 15, 2026 at 1:48 PM
GOP Alarmed as Texas Voters Start Saying Things Like “Well… I’m Just Asking Questions”
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound”
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound” - Unsourced News
White House insiders are second guessing their decision to empower misogynistic internet trolls with assault rifles
unsourcednews.com
January 14, 2026 at 2:35 PM
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound”
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’ - Unsourced News
White House sources confirmed that President Trump is considering rapper Nicki Minaj for the position of Chair of the Federal Reserve
unsourcednews.com
January 13, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’
Trump Praises Anti-Authoritarian Protests Overseas, Reminds Americans That Protesting at Home is Punishable by Death
Trump Praises Anti-Authoritarian Protests Overseas, Reminds Americans That Protesting at Home is Punishable by Death - Unsourced News
President Trump applauded Iranian protesters while reminding Americans that protesting domestically is punishable by death.
unsourcednews.com
January 13, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Trump Praises Anti-Authoritarian Protests Overseas, Reminds Americans That Protesting at Home is Punishable by Death
“I mean, yeah, groceries cost twice what they used to and ICE is murdering people on the streets,” said one voter, staring at his phone while scrolling through leaked renderings of the ballroom. “But look at this. That’s a lot of marble. Is it enough marble? I don’t know. And that worries me.”
Poll Finds Americans Aligned With Trump on Nation's Biggest Concern: His Ballroom’s Gold-to-Marble Ratio - Unsourced News
Americans have reached a rare consensus: the issue demanding the most attention is the precise balance of gold to marble in Trump’s ballroom.
unsourcednews.com
January 12, 2026 at 7:48 PM
“I mean, yeah, groceries cost twice what they used to and ICE is murdering people on the streets,” said one voter, staring at his phone while scrolling through leaked renderings of the ballroom. “But look at this. That’s a lot of marble. Is it enough marble? I don’t know. And that worries me.”
Economy ‘On Solid Footing,’ Say People Who Do Not Grocery Shop
Economy ‘On Solid Footing,’ Say People Who Do Not Grocery Shop - Unsourced News
The White House economic team announced that the economy is “on solid footing,” despite having not physically entered a grocery store in years
unsourcednews.com
January 9, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Economy ‘On Solid Footing,’ Say People Who Do Not Grocery Shop
Soccer Moms Reclassified as Terrorist Organization by DHS
Soccer Moms Reclassified as Terrorist Organization by DHS - Unsourced News
In an urgent late-night press release, DHS announced it is reclassifying “Soccer Moms” as a domestic terrorist organization.
unsourcednews.com
January 8, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Soccer Moms Reclassified as Terrorist Organization by DHS
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover - Unsourced News
President Trump described his interest in Greenland as “a very proud American tradition” of taking land from Indigenous people.
unsourcednews.com
January 7, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole - Unsourced News
Americans gathered this week to joyfully observe January 6th by smashing, screaming, and the beating of law enforcement officers.
unsourcednews.com
January 6, 2026 at 4:13 PM
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge - Unsourced News
The CDC announced Tuesday that it is reducing the childhood series of 17 vaccines to three shots of tequila and a lime wedge
unsourcednews.com
January 6, 2026 at 2:25 PM
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place - Unsourced News
Tim Walz announced that he would be exiting politics, prompting Republicans to search for a candidate controversial enough to replace him.
unsourcednews.com
January 5, 2026 at 4:59 PM
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place
Insiders Say Trump Began Fixating on Maduro’s Presidency After Learning it Was Only 13 Years Old
Insiders Say Trump Began Fixating on Maduro's Presidency After Learning it Was Only 13 Years Old - Unsourced News
According to senior officials, Trump’s eyes glazed over when he was informed that Maduro’s Presidency is currently entering its 13th year.
unsourcednews.com
January 5, 2026 at 3:47 PM
Insiders Say Trump Began Fixating on Maduro’s Presidency After Learning it Was Only 13 Years Old
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy - Unsourced News
In an effort to “restore civility,” newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani has required all conversations conducted at or below a gentle whisper
unsourcednews.com
January 2, 2026 at 7:04 PM
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy
Doctors Confirm Trump Takes Non-Lethal Dose of Lead Each Morning for Brain Hardening
Doctors Confirm Trump Takes Non-Lethal Dose of Lead Each Morning for Brain Hardening - Unsourced News
A team of physicians confirmed that Donald Trump begins each day by ingesting aspirin and a carefully measured, non-lethal dose of lead.
unsourcednews.com
January 2, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Doctors Confirm Trump Takes Non-Lethal Dose of Lead Each Morning for Brain Hardening
Ghislaine Maxwell Remains Unquestioned as DoJ Asks Literally Anyone Else About Epstein Case
Ghislaine Maxwell Remains Unquestioned as DoJ Asks Literally Anyone Else About Epstein Case - Unsourced News
The DoJ confirmed that it has interviewed everyone connected to the Epstein case except the one person who was verifiably there for all of it.
unsourcednews.com
January 2, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Ghislaine Maxwell Remains Unquestioned as DoJ Asks Literally Anyone Else About Epstein Case
Nation Rings in New Year With Hope, 2026 Cracks Knuckles and Says “Hold My Beer”
Nation Rings in New Year With Hope, 2026 Cracks Knuckles and Says “Hold My Beer” - Unsourced News
As fireworks lit up the sky, millions of Americans pretended that the calendar represented a moral reset. Then 2026 cracked its knuckles.
unsourcednews.com
December 31, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Nation Rings in New Year With Hope, 2026 Cracks Knuckles and Says “Hold My Beer”