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tofoomeister.bsky.social
tofoomeister
@tofoomeister.bsky.social
66 followers 120 following 570 posts
Data wrangler, Philadelphia defender, Cord cutter, House/Trance listener, Code absconder, Birds watcher, Oxymoronic fighting Quaker, Meme creator, Blue appreciator, Social media quitter, Tofoo meister, not necessarily in that order
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tofoomeister.bsky.social
Fire Kevin
The three stats that define the Philadelphia Eagles' offense this season: 27.7 yards per drive (26th in the NFL), 45.7% of drives ending in a punt (29th in the NFL), and 31.8% of drives that are 3 plays and out (dead last in the NFL)
December 14, 2025 at 12:06 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
"What the fuck is 'it it it'? There is no 'it'. 'It' is you! You happened again!"
Woody Harrelson and Rosie Perez in their roles as Billy and Gloria in the movie White Men Can't Jump. Billy is trying to explain that he lost all their money while hustling at the basketball courts, saying "It happened again"
December 8, 2025 at 2:14 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
It's time. Happy thanksgiving
The vinyl and album cover of Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie, a thanksgiving tradition
November 27, 2025 at 5:19 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
me and who
a seating diagram on ticketmaster for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, playing in Philadelphia on December 21st at 3pm. the seat selected in the image is in the fourth row, just off-center, and is priced at ten thousand three hundred four dollars and twenty one cents per ticket
November 12, 2025 at 3:22 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
November 10, 2025 at 6:51 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
November 4, 2025 at 1:57 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
new meme template just dropped
three frames of the house rep behind Mike Johnson as he began to answer the question: looking right (at the person asking the question), looking left (at the speaker), looking straight into the camera, mouth slightly agape
October 28, 2025 at 3:51 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
If you can't handle me at my // then you don't deserve me at my
The box score of the first nine innings of 2025 World Series game three. Toronto scored 4 in the 4th, and 1 in the 7th. Los Angeles scored 1 in the 2nd, 1 in the 3rd, 2 in the 5th, and 1 in the 7th. The score was tied 5-5 at the end of the ninth. The 2025 World Series game 3 box score for innings 10 through 18. All innings are zeroes, except for the 1 winning run scored by Los Angeles in the bottom of the 18th.
October 28, 2025 at 6:55 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
#Phillies fans: I don't want either team to win

Dodgers and Blue Jays:
A score bug for 2025 World Series Game 3, indicating that the game is going to the top of the 16th, with the score tied at 5 apiece, and the series tied at 1 apiece
October 28, 2025 at 6:00 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
October 25, 2025 at 1:11 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
Ordered grocery home delivery from ShopRite, which included a rotisserie chicken, and it was accompanied by this 10 out of 10 xeroxed flyer reminding the people who pack delivery orders to stop by the heat lamp counter just before making the delivery
A xeroxed flyer with today's date and delivery time handwritten in the upper left corner. Below that, in large enough font that it takes two lines to display four words, is printed "Don't Forget the Chicken" with the words Don't, Forget, and Chicken all capitalized. Printed below in the same enormously large font is the word "Name", with my name handwritten, and Flavor, below that is handwritten "Rotisserie Chicken" The flyer also has a graphic of a flapping chicken looking directly at you, beak agape, as if to communicate that they really didn't want to be cooked rotisserie-style in the first place, but if they had to be, that you would not have the gall to forget them.
October 23, 2025 at 5:46 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
just incredible
The final four plays of the Minnesota Vikings drive: 1st & 10, PHI 19. C. Wentz incomplete pass. 2nd & 10, PH 19. C. Wentz incomplete pass. 3rd & 10, PHI 19. B. Brandel fumbled. C. Wentz recovered fumble for no gain 4th & 32, PHI 41 -- a 22 yard loss on the previous play -- W. Reichard kicked a 59-yard field goal
October 19, 2025 at 5:26 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
Blue, you're my boy! #balatro
The blinds screen after having completed Ante 1, Round 2, with no money in the bank. A lone joker, the Blueprint, graces the joker slots at the top of the screen.
October 16, 2025 at 2:26 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
A pug, eyes wide open, mouth wide open, its long grooved tongue sticking out of its mouth and somehow moving both left and right at the the same time
October 13, 2025 at 11:41 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
ShopRite straight sold out of scrapple. Birds by 30, Phils by 10.
Shoprite notification: Habberset Scrapple, 16 ounce. 3 dollars and 49 cents. You ordered 1. We are short 1.
October 9, 2025 at 8:54 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
The solider protecting the sleeping child meme, only with the meatball parm from the original skeet crudely pasted over the solider
October 5, 2025 at 10:07 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
It is, isn't it friends
The cover art of Bill Withers' album Menagerie, featuring a black and white photo of Bill, sporting a long, pointed collar, a medium-length afro, and a wide, beaming smile in a rectangular picture frame. Surrounding the frame on all sides are several colorful toy animals: giraffes, elephants, penguins, toucans, ducks, and others. Below the picture is "Lovely Day", the title of the song that is playing
October 4, 2025 at 6:43 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
the adrenaline shot scene from Pulp Fiction, where Vincent Vega wields a large syringe filled with adrenaline over his head, about to plunge it through the sternum of an overdosing Mia Wallace. Vincent is captioned "The Yankees", Mia is captioned "Me", and the syringe is captioned "Bottom 9 NOBLETIGER"
October 1, 2025 at 1:22 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
mlb dot com: displaying stats meant to compare players over a large sample size like a month or a season but resetting them to show postseason only is insultingly stupid
Boston pitcher Garrett Crochet, pictured above the stats 4.1 innings pitched and 2.08 earned run average, beside New York Yankees batter Anthony Volpe, pictured above the stats 1 for 1 and 5 point zero zero zero OPS. At the time, the game score was 1 to 0, with Volpe accounting for the only run with a solo home run in his first at bat. The only stat that is displayed here that is any way significant is that Volpe has 1 hit in 1 at bat.
September 30, 2025 at 11:40 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
Dead Sea salty. Talcum soft. #Eagles undefeated. Go birds.
An account named "A Bucs Thing" whining that the Eagles did not deserve to win the game, complaining about favorable calls and noncalls from officials. The factually incorrect phrase BUCKY DID NOT FUMBLE appears in capital letters. Below the post, blue sky indicates that replies are disabled. Nowhere in this talcum salt mine of a post is it mentioned that Baker Mayfield threw an interception in the end zone with the game on the line.
September 28, 2025 at 8:50 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
How can you not be romantic about baseball?

Colorado Rockies -420 run differential
A chart produced by statmuse dot com that lists MLB teams by worst run differential for an entire season. The 2025 Colorado Rockies are at the top of the list of the 13 worst teams since 1900, 85 runs worse than the second-worst 1932 Red Sox. The second through thirteenth worst teams have a run differential that ranges from -345 to -316, and they all played at least 154 games in their seasons. At the top of the chart, there is an anime version of a Rockies' player, wearing their Rockies-branded cap and uniform. I do not recognize whoever that player is, and for that, I am fairly confident that they are grateful.
September 28, 2025 at 2:04 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
jason kelce: band member
a picture of jason kelce holding a baritone sax and dressed in the ravens' marching band uniform, high fiving other band members
September 23, 2025 at 1:32 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
Some of them listened, some didn't
The same 55-year chart of the Federal Reserve rate as a function of time as it appears in the New York Times Article. The chart also contains an arrow I added, pointing at the 0% rate that began in 2009. The arrow is captioned "Me to my 20-something colleagues: buy a house RIGHT FUCKING NOW" with the words 'right fucking now' in capital letters. Prior to 2009, the lowest the rate had been was around 1%.
September 17, 2025 at 10:35 PM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
just look at it
A closeup of the ball that Rafael Marchan hit to right field. It is colliding with the outside frame of the door that connects the outfield in play with the bullpen, which is out of play. It is approximately one baseball width above a much shorter outfield wall to the right of the bullpen door. Several fans in the front rows are observing this majestic home run ball as it is about to exit the field of play
September 17, 2025 at 11:43 AM
tofoomeister.bsky.social
Quinyon Mitchell attempts to draw the Eagles logo. It looks vaguely like an anthropomorphic chicken nugget
September 7, 2025 at 6:57 PM