Argon Dreamcast Evangelion
@synthandlasers.bsky.social
"You’re good at posting. I just hate what you post." -A man named Roger
TikTok: "How did you feel about the video you just watched?"
I didn't. I am here specifically to not feel things. Your app, paired with the sound of YouTube playing on my laptop, is part of a precisely engineered system to prevent me experiencing even a single thought
I didn't. I am here specifically to not feel things. Your app, paired with the sound of YouTube playing on my laptop, is part of a precisely engineered system to prevent me experiencing even a single thought
December 1, 2025 at 5:57 AM
TikTok: "How did you feel about the video you just watched?"
I didn't. I am here specifically to not feel things. Your app, paired with the sound of YouTube playing on my laptop, is part of a precisely engineered system to prevent me experiencing even a single thought
I didn't. I am here specifically to not feel things. Your app, paired with the sound of YouTube playing on my laptop, is part of a precisely engineered system to prevent me experiencing even a single thought
"Go piss girl" is a gender-neutral phrase
November 30, 2025 at 5:56 AM
"Go piss girl" is a gender-neutral phrase
Noam Chomsky would be a great name for a fantasy monster that eats a specific kind of halflings
November 30, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Noam Chomsky would be a great name for a fantasy monster that eats a specific kind of halflings
People love showing off how juicy their turkeys are, like...you know it's mostly pee, right?
November 29, 2025 at 10:13 PM
People love showing off how juicy their turkeys are, like...you know it's mostly pee, right?
Homer: "My father was...a drinker, and a fiend. Which was the style at the time"
November 29, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Homer: "My father was...a drinker, and a fiend. Which was the style at the time"
Maybe I don't have seasonal depression, and there's perhaps just a small chance that two feet of snow smothering every inch of existence in a thousand mile radius while the sun only exists for twenty minutes a day might actually just suck in an objective, measurable way...
November 29, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Maybe I don't have seasonal depression, and there's perhaps just a small chance that two feet of snow smothering every inch of existence in a thousand mile radius while the sun only exists for twenty minutes a day might actually just suck in an objective, measurable way...
Barney the Dinosaur's whole lore is that he's manifested into reality by the collective imaginations of a group of children. Which is honestly fucking terrifying that some bunch of preschoolers has the god damn Shining and uses it to conjure a primordial superpredator to, like...teach them shapes
November 29, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Barney the Dinosaur's whole lore is that he's manifested into reality by the collective imaginations of a group of children. Which is honestly fucking terrifying that some bunch of preschoolers has the god damn Shining and uses it to conjure a primordial superpredator to, like...teach them shapes
There's something so profoundly American about devoting half a dozen 60" flatscreens to just be our bar's draft list
November 29, 2025 at 2:50 AM
There's something so profoundly American about devoting half a dozen 60" flatscreens to just be our bar's draft list
Deviled eggs are fine or whatever, but I mostly just respect their boldness in using the avatar of sin and personal adversary of God Himself as a verb for, like, your lunch
November 29, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Deviled eggs are fine or whatever, but I mostly just respect their boldness in using the avatar of sin and personal adversary of God Himself as a verb for, like, your lunch
My coworker's kitchen playlist is mathematical proof that Deftones is the only band that has ever existed
November 28, 2025 at 11:58 PM
My coworker's kitchen playlist is mathematical proof that Deftones is the only band that has ever existed
Officially the day after Thanksgiving. Hard to believe there's only three hair wash days til Christmas
November 28, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Officially the day after Thanksgiving. Hard to believe there's only three hair wash days til Christmas
Folger's should just lean into it this year and drop a sequel to this commercial where she gets stuck in the dryer
November 28, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Folger's should just lean into it this year and drop a sequel to this commercial where she gets stuck in the dryer
I'm better than generative AI because I only occasionally plagiarize things on accident and also consume next to no water
November 28, 2025 at 9:33 PM
I'm better than generative AI because I only occasionally plagiarize things on accident and also consume next to no water
Okay, like, tardigrades, angler fish, and axolotl I get. And shoebills too, I suppose. But, the fuck's so weird about pigeons? That is a very average bird. It didn't do shit.
November 28, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Okay, like, tardigrades, angler fish, and axolotl I get. And shoebills too, I suppose. But, the fuck's so weird about pigeons? That is a very average bird. It didn't do shit.
Absolutely zero superheroes fight any goblins, except for Spider-Man, who's got, like, seven. Every day I pray to Spider-Man in thanks for his diligence in keeping the goblins at bay
November 28, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Absolutely zero superheroes fight any goblins, except for Spider-Man, who's got, like, seven. Every day I pray to Spider-Man in thanks for his diligence in keeping the goblins at bay
Getting one of those molecular structure diagram tattoos but instead of the classics like caffeine to represent that I'm a millennial, or psilocybin to represent that I'm annoying, I'm getting B12 to tell the world my pee comes out weird and unnatural colors
November 28, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Getting one of those molecular structure diagram tattoos but instead of the classics like caffeine to represent that I'm a millennial, or psilocybin to represent that I'm annoying, I'm getting B12 to tell the world my pee comes out weird and unnatural colors
"If you're gonna come to this country, you need to learn how to speak the language!" As if Uber drivers who speak little to no English aren't absolutely fucking peak
November 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
"If you're gonna come to this country, you need to learn how to speak the language!" As if Uber drivers who speak little to no English aren't absolutely fucking peak
Dipshits love posting "This is what they took from you" as the caption to a photo of something that either still exists, has always sucked, or both
November 27, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Dipshits love posting "This is what they took from you" as the caption to a photo of something that either still exists, has always sucked, or both
Though it's widely seen as problematic in recent times, the reason the puzzle piece is such a common symbol for autism is because we all fucking love Banjo-Kazooie
November 27, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Though it's widely seen as problematic in recent times, the reason the puzzle piece is such a common symbol for autism is because we all fucking love Banjo-Kazooie
Dragon Ball is hilarious because they're always like, "If you train hard, believe in yourself, and stick with your friends, you can do anything!" And then immediately it turns into, "If you're not the right kind of genetically superior magic alien, stay on the fucking bench"
November 27, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Dragon Ball is hilarious because they're always like, "If you train hard, believe in yourself, and stick with your friends, you can do anything!" And then immediately it turns into, "If you're not the right kind of genetically superior magic alien, stay on the fucking bench"
Mom's making a double batch of Swedish meatballs for Thanksgiving this year. Ya boi is gonna be chuggin' balls for like a week. Bless.
November 27, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Mom's making a double batch of Swedish meatballs for Thanksgiving this year. Ya boi is gonna be chuggin' balls for like a week. Bless.
Don't let them lie to you and say it's all about the fulfillment of saving people's lives. Firefighters only do it because they get to detonate a turkey bomb ever November. It's not even a safety thing they just do it cause towering grease fires fuckin' rip
November 27, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Don't let them lie to you and say it's all about the fulfillment of saving people's lives. Firefighters only do it because they get to detonate a turkey bomb ever November. It's not even a safety thing they just do it cause towering grease fires fuckin' rip
Stuffing is a weird food. Hey guys I made damp croutons and then nuked it in some buttery bird cloaca. Please come to my dinner party.
November 27, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Stuffing is a weird food. Hey guys I made damp croutons and then nuked it in some buttery bird cloaca. Please come to my dinner party.
Me: "Don't worry, I won't throw hands at the function"
Me after four beers:
Me after four beers:
November 26, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Me: "Don't worry, I won't throw hands at the function"
Me after four beers:
Me after four beers:
Made a typo on Amazon and accidentally ordered my girl the Hibachi Magic Wand and her clit got exploded in an onion volcano 🥺
November 26, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Made a typo on Amazon and accidentally ordered my girl the Hibachi Magic Wand and her clit got exploded in an onion volcano 🥺