Phony Clifton
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stilldavis.bsky.social
Phony Clifton
@stilldavis.bsky.social
1.6K followers 2.4K following 5.2K posts
Rubbish jokes, inane observations, low effort, you get the idea. Everton fan. You're bored now.
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stilldavis.bsky.social
Just been reminded about how very weird nutcracker figures are. Who'd want these things in their house?

They look like something that would come alive and murder you in the night.
Photo of some nutcracker figures in a shop. They look absolutely demented and sinister to me
November 28, 2025 at 5:57 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
November 27, 2025 at 6:24 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Come on, where's this turkey then? Hurry up!
Cockapoo dog sat on the couch staring at me with dog eyes waiting impatiently to get his chops around the turkey cooking in the oven
November 27, 2025 at 6:14 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Someone on Reddit must have got LaRue on the case
Screenshot of Reddit post. Loose translation of Amato's speech. Today we remember my brother Gabriel Amato. He was not just my brother. He was my twin. As children, we were inseparable and our mother dressed us in the same clothes. It doesn't make much sense, because you simply had to buy two of the same garment. We were also very close, but as we grew up and graduated from university, Gabriel told us that he wanted to move to the United States. We told him, Are you crazy? No. He wanted to become a successful businessman in California. He considered it the land of hope and dreams. He loved the movies and dreamed of working in Hollywood. But he was a realist and knew that he would never be a movie star. He just wanted to be in the action. He made his way from the bottom in the service sector. He told me that you can do a little job and then go to see a program with Jimmy Stewart about the Hollywood celebrity carnival, something in English, I don't remember. Um, so, in the service sector, uh, he first started out as a dishwasher. Then, as a waiter, and manager of a restaurant, and eventually ran his own event space. And we were able to help Gabriel in his ambitions to expand the name of Amato here in the United States, in the San Bernardino Valley. We have that in our family, was our brother to triumph in the country that he loved so much. When I am sad. I regret it a lot. I wish he had never come. I wish I had told my brother to come home and be with his family. Now we find out about the end of his life. It was marked by bad investments and suspicious people. We remember the good times and we say Gabriel, it's time to go home. We will ensure that the morgue sends his body back to his family from our hometown of Buenos Aires. And finally we will investigate how my brother died, how he got access to that poison. We will also audit with a magnifying glass his finances here in the United States. With the specific intention of discovering any fraud against what was. A…
November 26, 2025 at 9:29 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Dexter was fast asleep and I swear the second I pulled my phone out to take a pic he knew it.

You be the judge
Cockapoo dog lying on his back on the couch. He has one eye open like a right nutter like what's your problem pal? He's the best
November 23, 2025 at 12:34 AM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Made an experimental vegetarian risotto for me and the veggie wife tonight. Yes that is avocado in there.

Come on then, give it to me!
A tasty plate of veggie risotto made with vegetable stock with yellow pepper and avocado instead of the usual bacon and mushroom and chicken stock. It's not as good as the meaty one but it's pretty decent, hence me posting it here
November 21, 2025 at 8:23 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
This adorable little fella is the same tonight. Dropping stink bombs galore!
Black cockapoo dog sleeping on the couch. Don't be fooled though, his arse is absolutely stinking tonight! Some rotten eggs guffs coming out of him
November 16, 2025 at 11:37 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Get really stoned and turn your alarm off?
Screenshot of a Reddit post to Ask Reddit. The question is "How do you guys last longer in bed?" I think he means sex-wise.
November 14, 2025 at 11:59 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Tarka Dhal.

Does anyone else say that to themselves in a Trey Parker South Park voice?
A bowl of Tarka Dhal. As a lentils hater (I'm allergic to them) this looks like a big old bowl of shit to me but to each their own
November 14, 2025 at 4:02 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Alright then amateur detectives, who do you reckon this is?
Excerpt from Popbitch email it reads: Which recent Netflix darling is struggling to work following the success of his hit show? His reputation is that he’s, euphemistically, “difficult to work with”. But those who have experience trying to do so describe it in more plain terms. “He’s actually a Grade A cunt”, says one, who describes his torrents of abuse at anyone below him. Despite a special meeting being arranged by his production company to discuss his behaviour, plenty of people are already unwilling to tap the big baby up for any future work.
November 13, 2025 at 4:40 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
This one might be a bit niche
Mock Mamdani for NY poster saying "Fillet O Fish for my wife". Based on an old arsed McDonald's advert from the 80s where an old fella said that.
November 8, 2025 at 11:53 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Style icon Rab C Nesbitt. He will tell you this boy!
November 7, 2025 at 12:22 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Bang in your beans! Wasn't this what got him in trouble last time?
Screenshot from the Guardian. Headline: "Celebrity chefs urge Britons to 'bang in some beans' to boost legume consumption." Presumably this isn't a euphemism Gregg Wallace, stripped to the waist because I've seen it so now you have to
November 5, 2025 at 1:36 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Why is there ALWAYS a minimum of 4% Don't Knows to every question?

I swear they could ask "Would you like to be be hung, drawn and quartered, medieval style?" and 4% would say "Don't know".
YouGov question about pizza. What kind of pizza do you like best? A thin base = 60% A thick base = 26% Don't know = 4% N/A I don't like pizza = 10%
November 3, 2025 at 5:59 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Sam Darnold.

You get a TD. You get a TD. EVERYONE gets a TD!

......Not you JSN.

#NFL
Oprah Winfrey doing her You get a car, you get a car thing
November 3, 2025 at 2:29 AM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Bungle off Rainbow. He's stood hands on hips looking down on the gang judging them as per usual. The joyless, grassing prick
November 2, 2025 at 6:47 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
It's Scrappy Doo, the little bastard.
November 2, 2025 at 5:54 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
He just stood there like that looking at me for minutes while I was watching the overtime in the Stars game.
Black cockapoo dog stood on the floor staring up at me
November 2, 2025 at 12:40 AM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Lovely stuff. Not my words, the words of Shakin Stevens.
Alan Partridge outside his oast house home. He's wearing a gilet over a sweater and some brown driving gloves. Brian is also wearing a gilet in his pic proving he considers Alan a fashion guru
November 1, 2025 at 9:42 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
This is a load of arse. Nobody has mentioned roast beef and horseradish Brannigans or Topic bars, or Drifters or Spiras.
Screenshot of Channel 5 TV show "The Sweets And Treats We Loved And Lost". Christopher "Biggins" Biggins is holding up a candy necklace. This is not a euphemism
October 26, 2025 at 10:39 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Here comes Merlin! Let's hope he's got a few tricks up his sleeve
Legendarily unfunny comedian Stan Boardman, mic in hand probably saying De Giiiirmans or something
October 26, 2025 at 6:02 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Most enjoyable 4 in a row since Henry Kelly's Going For Gold
Screenshot of classic pan-European quiz show Going For Gold. They're playing the 4 in a row round. The counter is showing 1,2,3 & 4. Entirely coincidentally, Liverpool have just lost 4 Premier League games in a row
October 25, 2025 at 10:23 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Important crisps announcement #1.

These Lancashire crisps are possibly the nicest crisps I've ever had. You should absolutely definitely try them.
Packet of Fiddler's Lancashire crisps, sea salt flavour. The bag's virtually empty at this time as I'd scoffed all the delicious beauties
October 25, 2025 at 3:56 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Who's solving the Louvre robbery? Right answers only.

They say it takes a thief to catch a thief.
The one and only Master Thief, Hercule Flambeau from daytime TV show Father Brown. More elusive than the Scarlet Pimpernel, cooler than the Fonz at The North Pole and more skilled at larceny than Oceans 11, 12 AND 13.
October 20, 2025 at 9:40 PM
stilldavis.bsky.social
Ooohh Beto!
Michael Crawford as Frank Spencer. He's looking comically surprised here
October 18, 2025 at 2:29 PM